Essay:Genesis (evolutionist version)

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In the beginning, there was nothing, and nothing happened to nothing.

Then, one day, nothing caused nothing to explode and magically turn into everything. No materials were used to create the planets and the stars, they simply appeared out of the explosion of nothing.

The planet earth was created by the sun, which was already born out of gasses that came from nothing, and the conditions gradually changed in such a way that earth just happened to be perfect to support life. (This was quite lucky, as there was no life at this point—that would come from nothing later.)

Nothing then caused the beautiful landscapes on earth to form, and wonderful waterfalls and rolling hills appeared out of nowhere for no reason.

Then came the ultimate creation from nothing—for no reason, life formed. Not only did this incredible feat involve nothing to create it, but it also appeared from what was originally nothing. With the nothing-to-life under way, it follows logically that the nothing-life managed to gather information and complexity by particles that, for no reason, were caused by nothing to be self-replicated and to turn into plants, aquatic life, amphibians, reptiles, insects, birds, and mammals.

Suddenly, a primate that came from nothing split into all different species of ape and then Man. For no reason, Man became the most intelligent species, but he was given nothing in the way of divine guidance, nothing of a moral compass, and nothing of any meaning in his life. Thus, the nothing-primate-man began a wild animal, sharing only the soul of his fellow life forms whose life was born out of nothing, life forms ranging from apple trees and ants to zebras and zero—zero being nothing from whence life and the universe came.