Essay: The atheism blues

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Oh, atheism! Why you treatin' me so wrong. Oh, Lord.

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Atheists have a history of crying the blues about my articles on atheism. Below is a song written for them.

The Atheism Blues

Conservative at Conservapedia done atheism wrong. Oh, Lord.

My momma found me in the mornin'

My dear momma said, "Son why do you look so sad?"

I said, "Momma, Conservative at Conservapedia keep treatin' atheism so bad. Oh, dear Lord."

My momma said, "Son, I told you that atheism doesn't have a prayer of being true."

I called Richard Dawkins. I said, "Why my momma treatin' atheism so wrong? Lord have mercy."

Richard said to me, "Stop whining, will you. I have my own problems son. People are callin' me yellow because I won't debate William Lane Craig plus other notable Christians too. And Rebecca Watson and her Skepchick army is on my case too. Oh, Lord."

When I first started atheism it seemed so fun. But now I fear even my dear momma don't love me and my daddy is calling me a fool. Oh, dear Lord have mercy on me.

So I tried to find an atheist girlfriend because I felt so blue. And God knows that I couldn't find any evidence that atheism is true.

And I found atheist girlfriends are in short supply too. Lord have mercy, I won't be havin' an atheist baby by my side. Oh, my atheist road is so rough. I am so tired of traveling down this atheist road all by myself. I want an atheist woman so bad, so very bad. Yes, I do.

I am tryin'. I am tryin'. I am tryin' so hard to make atheism work for me, but it keeps doin' me wrong.

Oh, atheism. Why you treatin' me so wrong. I feel so bad. I feel so bad, yet keep doin' me wrong.

I picked up the newspaper and I read that every day there are 300 less atheists. Yes, I did. And every day there are 80,000 more people calling themselves Christians too. Oh, Lord.

Oh atheism, I told you to stop treatin' people so bad. I told you to stop your backstabbing ways. Lord have mercy.

Then I called my momma. She said, "Son, what are the benefits of atheism?" Oh, Lord, why is my momma so mean? She says she loves me, but why can't she love my atheism too? My momma keeps treatin' atheism so wrong. Oh, Lord have mercy.

I said, momma how can I show you that atheism is true because I feel so blue. She said, "What proof and evidence do you have that atheism is true?"

Oh, atheism. Why you treatin' me so wrong. I'm going to leave you and become a Christian too.

See also




Comedy and satire:

Comedy and satires concerning atheism and evolution