|“I have learnt; I am learning; I will learn to love God, other people and myself. This healing process will only be complete when I'm with Jesus.”[note 1]|
Martin Hallet, who was active in the gay scene until his conversion, is author of autobiographical sketch "I Am Learning to Love. A Personal Journey to Wholeness in Christ" and co-founder of the True Freedom Trust ministry. In his account of experience with the same-sex attractions and of what he calls "Christ's way out of homosexuality", he is very candid about his continuing vulnerability, his need for safeguards, his yearning for love, and his occasional boats of emotional turmoil.
Immersed in a homosexual lifestyle
Early in 1972, Martin Hallett was completely immersed in a homosexual lifestyle. He had no desire to change and felt quite happy and secure. Most of his sexual relationships were casual, although there had been some long term partners. His life was dominated by sex and he was promiscuous without feeling guilty. Sex seemed to be the way into a relationship, which M.H. hoped would be faithful and secure. One day, a newcomer who declared himself to be a Christian became a part of M.H.’s circle of friends. This newcomer, who was certainly very new to the social scene, seemed a bit confused about the whole idea of his own homosexuality and was filled with uncertainties about the rightness of homosexual sex alias sodomy. M.H., who was attracted to the newcomer, physically and to his gentle humility, thought the newcomer was simply very new to the whole idea and would change once he has been around for a while.
Dramatic lifestyle change
|Totally different lifestyles|
|“MY LIFESTYLE CHANGED quite dramatically and I became convinced, through Scripture, that homosexual sex was wrong. ... Even my gay friends seemed to accept the situation and my clumsy efforts to convert them, although they didn't seem to understand what had happened to me. They kept in touch, but I found it difficult to identify with them because our lifestyles were now totally different.”|
— Martin Hallet
The lifestyle of M.H. began to change quite dramatically after one night on his way home from a gay pub, when he, while being alone, was feeling a bit depressed. In his reflections, he realized that the story of Jesus dying on the Cross for his sins meant nothing more for him than just he could do as he pleased, within reason, and still get to Heaven. Now he started to think differently about it and the story of redemption in the Old and New Testaments began to make much more sense to him. He began to comprehend that sin is anything which displeases God and saw, for the first time, that his sins separated him from God, because of God’s Holiness. M.H. became convinced, through Scripture, that homosexual sex was wrong. In the light of Jesus's morality and lifestyle recorded in the Matthew's Gospel and Paul's words in Romans and Corinthians, M.H. found it difficult to believe that God would be happy with homosexual relationships. He was strongly determined to turn away from sexual temptation, firstly after God took his new friend away, then as he became more involved in a Christian lifestyle. He believes the Holy Spirit changed the desires of his heart and many attitudes and ideals were transformed. M.H. has felt fulfilled emotionally because he could now love other men, without the relationship becoming eroticized. Now he claims that it became clear that sexuality and emotional needs are inextricably linked and that emotions and sexual feelings are not static but changeable. In his words, he made the choice to accept the truth of God's love in a real way he already experienced, rather than being dependent on his feelings, which are influenced i.a. by one's hurts and insecurities. The ways to overcome loneliness involve working at the deeper issues of self, which make a lack of identity, feelings of emptiness and loneliness a problem. In the first place, a person needs to find the sense of security in the only perfect person, Jesus; and only then one can work at meeting the legitimate needs - to love and be loved, especially since a multitude of feelings like hurt, despair, betrayal and confusion, often irrational, are frequently a part of every day life.
- I Am Learning to Love: A Personal Journey to Wholeness in Christ (Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 1987) — autobiographical sketch.
- Sexual Identity and Freedom in Discipleship — In this booklet, Martin Hallett responds to the St Andrew's Day Statement by looking at the importance of personal experience and the place of pastoral guidelines as offered in the mainline churches.
- cf. "The final chapter of Scripture reminds us that we will struggle with human brokenness and the effects of human sin until Jesus comes. Until then, we are to be found both washed and waiting, eager for the redemption of our bodies and for the fullness of the kingdom of the Lord Jesus Christ."
- R. Albert Mohler, Jr. (2015). We Cannot Be Silent: Speaking Truth to a Culture Redefining Sex, Marriage, and the Very Meaning of Right and Wrong. Harper Collins, 109. ISBN 978-07180-32487.
- John Stott (1998). Same-Sex Partnerships? A Christian Perspective. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House Co., 75. ISBN 978-08007-56741.
- Martin Hallet (1987). I Am Learning to Love. Marshall, Morgan, and Scott, 155.
- Martin Hallett (September 1998). God is faithful. True Freedom Trust. Retrieved on 24 November 2016. “This is Martin Hallett's story of how he came out of a homosexual lifestyle and co-founded the ministry of True Freedom Trust.”
- Martin Hallet (1987). I Am Learning to Love. Marshall, Morgan, and Scott.
- Dr. John R.W. Stott, John Wyatt (2011). Issues Facing Christians Today, 4, Zondervan. ISBN 9780310862659.
- grovepastoral:Sexual Identity and Freedom in Discipleship 24. Grove Books Ltd. Retrieved on 25 Nov 2016.