Talk:Elvis Presley

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This is a bizarre entry. Not a single source is cited, and several of the claims seem doubtful. For instance, his high school is described as liberal and atheistic, which seems unlikely for a Tennessee high school in the 1950s. Also, I disagree with the assumption that he must have been an atheist because he became hooked on drugs and was driven a bit crazy by fame. He recorded a number of gospel songs, which doesn't necessarily prove he was a Christian, but does reveal the influence of Southern Christian culture in his life. The fact that he had personal demons doesn't merit such an attack on him, especially without any backing evidence. Labeling Sun Records as "liberal" -- I can't figure out what that means based on what I know about the company -- shows the weird hostility toward Presley in this article. I plan to revamp this entry. I own a couple of books on him, and I'm sure there's a bevy of online news articles about him. The King deserves better. EthanR, May 13, 2011

The user who made those edits - which also included obsolete and offensive language - was blocked, but it appears this edit of hers wasn't reverted. I've reverted her now. I also fixed the formatting just a little, but you're definitely welcome and encouraged to work on it!--IDuan 19:37, 13 May 2011 (EDT)
I read this and it looked like the work of a liberal parodist. -MejiaS 19:39, 13 May 2011 (EDT)

Contents

Citations

Ideally this article should use in-line citations. I'm refraining from using a template since I know it's currently being worked on - but something to keep in mind.--IDuan 11:13, 22 July 2011 (EDT)

Right now, I am acting on prior knowledge and an old book (for certain facts, the filmography, etc.). Before I am done, I will be sure to add some online citations. And thank you for rewording the intro.--JamesWilson 11:16, 22 July 2011 (EDT)

Career section

Consider separating the career section into two subsections - his music and his movies & TV appearances. SharonW 11:26, 22 July 2011 (EDT)

I will once I add more career information. I will also later add sections on his Army service and marriage.--JamesWilson 11:29, 22 July 2011 (EDT)

excellent article!

Seeing this article was a really pleasant surprise. It is well-written, and is free of the relentless bashing of all things liberal that is so common (and was in an earlier version, with its characterization of schools in the South in the 1950's as "atheistic".) The article is carefully nuanced, and manages to describe his tragic death, from lifestyle problems, without preaching. That is really excellent, and I wish more articles would do that.

A couple of questions:

  • It seems to say that his first single was "That’s All Right", but later says that his first was "Heartbreak Hotel". Did you mean that "Heartbreak Hotel" was the first to reach #1 on the charts"? That could be made clearer.
  • I'm not sure we want to get into all the "conspiracy theory" stuff about supermarket tabloids constantly reporting that Elvis was alive years after his death (that's pretty much died down, hasn't it?), but it may be an interesting sidelight. After all, there is a section on Elvis impersonators, and it's an interesting phenomenon. What do people think? Is that just tabloid trash?

SamHB 00:20, 23 July 2011 (EDT)

I have been working very hard on improving this article and Sharon and Iduan did a few copyedits. It's not finished yet, and I will go a bit more in depth on some areas. And That's All Right was his first professional recording for Sun and Heartbreak Hotel was his first #1 hit. And I am not so sure about going into the hoax stuff. I may do a bit about it, but not discuss it in detail. Glad you like the reworking and expansion of this article!--JamesWilson 00:27, 23 July 2011 (EDT)

These are, as always, merely suggestions

Miscellaneous suggestion:

  • Keep an eye on the verb tense. Most of the article should be in the past tense.

Possible clarifications:

Opening paragraph

  • What year did Elvis win the lifetime Grammy award?

Early life

  • Interesting tidbit from one of your references – the house didn't have electricity or running water. You might consider adding this to the article.
  • What was Vernon imprisoned for?
  • Was it a particular Pentecostal church? Add name if you have it.
  • Building complex or apartment complex?
  • Name of band he was in with the 4 boys?
  • What did he do at Crown Electric?

Early career

  • "That's All Right" – does "backed by" mean the "B side"? Was it a 45? You might want to explain that, because younger people might not understand. I know my teenaged boys wouldn't know what it meant.
  • You might consider explaining what the Louisiana Hayride was. Also, who did he sign the one-year contract with? The Hayride or a parent company?
  • When did he move from Sun to RCA?
  • When did Parker become his manager?

Repetitive info: You have info about him being filmed from the waist up in two different places: The Ed Sullivan Show and Early concerts. It really only needs to be in once – I'm not sure which section would be best.

Concerts

  • When did he perform in Vegas and when was his road tour?

1970s Live Concerts

  • What two films?
  • "He had recording sessions and concerts." Maybe this could be incorporated better into the other sentences, unless they were specific recording sessions and concerts.

Aloha from Hawaii

  • Was there a reason the US delayed broadcast?

Army service

  • Where did he go through basic training?
  • Where in Germany was he stationed?

Marriage

  • Wasn't Priscilla really young?

Death

  • Didn't he die of cardiac arrest, caused by the drugs and weight?

Discography and filmography

  • Is there a way to make the text into two columns? It would make it read better. I'm not great at wiki editing yet, but I think I've seen it done. Hmm, maybe I'll look into it.

Article is looking great! Keep up the great work and I'm looking forward to your Cash and Seeger articles too! SharonW 21:36, 27 July 2011 (EDT)

Thank you for the suggestions! To address one of your points right here, there is actually a debate to what actually caused his death. And I am not sure how to the columns either. But, thank you for the interest and I appreciate your suggestions! One of these days, I will work on those other articles!--JamesWilson 21:43, 27 July 2011 (EDT)

a few things

I've made some minor tweaks, as you can see. One thing that I'm not sure about is the "before the year ended" sentence. It didn't say what year; I changed it to 1956. I don't know whether that's correct. Is it?

Also, this is a bit more about Elvis's innovations in the direction of Rock and Roll music. (You don't get to be called "the king" for nothing!) There is mention of young ladies screaming incessantly at his concerts. That's true, but there is more. I believe that has since become something of a tradition in popular music culture. Where did this tradition originate? I believe it originated with Elvis. Between that and the physical gyrations on stage, I think it would be good if we can somehow put this in perspective showing that Elvis led the way. Elvis put his stamp on Rock and Roll culture in several ways. Can we somehow make these things more prominent? I'll think about it and see if I can come up with something. Meanwhile, does someone else want to give it a try? SamHB 12:37, 30 July 2011 (EDT)

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