Talk:Polygamy

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Could somebody who knows where to find suitable references please add something to this article about the people involved? It presently defines the terms, and sets a historic background. I would like to read about the motivations and feelings of the participants - how did a Mormon woman react when her husband decided to take a second wife? How were the household duties divided? Were the wives typically of similar age to each other and their husband, or was one much younger or older? --Scott 04:47, 20 March 2007 (EDT) updated my words to past tense when referring to polygamous Mormons, but descriptions of contemporary polygamists is OK too. Scott 17:53, 20 March 2007 (EDT)

I think the problem you will encounter, in looking for how people feel in these situations, is that people feel very differently in these situations. Some feel they are fulfilling a religious obligation, some feel betrayed, some feel relived, and some feel abused. It depends on the individuals involved. At best we can generalize, and say most feel X. But, because sociology is a relatively new discipline and since such arrangements are illegal most places today, there is little to no data from which to extrapolate. So I suspect that it will be hard if not impossible to find appropriately verifiable evidence to support general claims about the feelings of those involved. I certainly couldn’t find any—however, if you (or anyone else can) I’d be very interested to see it.--Reginod 09:41, 20 March 2007 (EDT)
Perhaps I should have asked what the Church said they should feel. The demographic statistics and the official Mormon teaching might well survive, even if we can't quote newspaper interviews with any first wives. --Scott 10:14, 20 March 2007 (EDT)
I don’t know about the early Mormon Church in particular—but that could probably be found. I do know that the modern Fundamentalist Church of Latter day Saints (Warren Jeffs’ group) teaches that all brides (1st, 2nd, 3rd etc.) are entering a holy union ordained by God himself, through His Prophet, and that they should feel great joy. I suspect that in most cultures where polygamy is the rule rather than the exception the additional spouses don’t give it much thought—that’s just the way life is, and it is natural that they should wed as they do (most cultures see their way of doing things as the natural way to do things), but I’m not sure I could find any good data on that—so at the moment I’ll put this on the talk page as my own speculation. --Reginod 09:26, 21 March 2007 (EDT)
I guess it makes the decision of which childhood sweetheart to marry simpler - just marry both! --Scott 17:44, 21 March 2007 (EDT)

See below, Scott. Whenever the opportunity arises, I advise young Christian "dating singles" that if you intend to have sex, you HAVE married! Better then to marry both, or at least understand that "putting away" one is not a Biblical option. --MarkC 15:20, 8 August, 2007 (MDT)

contemporary patriarchal polygyny

There are increasing numbers of patriarchal or Messianic Christians who practice polygyny in America today, as well as in Europe. A web search on those terms should provide a number of links and references, although I will add a few which are current below.

Many of the "messianic", "Hebrew-roots", or "first-century" Christian groups which have come to recognize that Yeshua (Jesus) did not come to change "one yod or tittle" of the Torah until "heaven and earth pass" have concluded based on careful study of Scripture that no prohibition on polygyny exists, and that He does not prohibit that which He prescribes (there at least a dozen more references in the Bible than the main article here so far notes):


http://www.truthbearer.org/ or the same organization's http://www.lovenotforce.com/

http://www.malkhutyahwehavodah.org/

http://web.archive.org/web/20050424005851/www.nccg.org/fecpp/index.html

http://www.patriarchywebsite.com/


While I am personally convinced that marriage is ordained by God, and not man, and thus have no "licenses" of marriage, I have been a practicing patriarchal Christian for over a decade. No marriage, of course, is easy, and polygyny is no different in that regard. There are certainly practical and legalistic issues of concern, but arguably no more so than our culture of practicing "serial polygamists" has already fostered. Ultimately, the ironic difference in our society between "legal" and "accepted" is that a man who offers to Biblically cover, honor, and protect more than a single spouse may be prosecuted by 'the State', but a man who "uses them and loses them" (even from the Oval Office) will be winked at and admired.

My wives acknowledge the difficulties. All of us studied the Scripture "for ourselves" before making the second commitment, and have continued to study the Word and grow in understanding of His plan for marriage and our house. My first wife was, and is, accepting of the Biblical choice involved, and supportive of our family as it has grown. "In laws" have taken longer in most cases, but have eventually come to recognize at a minimum the commitment we share, and some the consistency of the Biblical position. My second wife has borne the concern of being the "other woman", and suffered with issues of insurance, inheritance, and so on; nevertheless, those things are not insurmountable.

I do not believe jealousy to be the issue that contemporary culture (except on some TV) attempts to paint it. Biblical guidance and a prayerful attitude of proper headship and covering are key, on all parts. I often joke that one thing I have learned is that each woman MUST have her own kitchen.

To answer Scott specifically, my first wife is a few years older than me, my second about equally the younger. As head of the household, the responsibility for tasks falls on me, but we generally cooperate together on what needs to be done.

This is getting a bit long, but I hope that at least a few of the questions I saw above were answered, at least from a non-Mormon viewpoint.

Mark in Colorado MarkC

Clarifying and Adding

I clarified a few sections and added a link to polyamory that I plan to add much more to in the days to come --HarabecW 16:07, 12 May 2011 (EDT)

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