Writing Homework Five Student One

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Sean N. United Narcissists

The United Nations is a proud peace-keeping organization that promotes communication between countries. Despite its best efforts it has failed to avert several wars and provide relief for so many disasters. When crimes against humanity, as in Somalia and Syria, go unnoticed by the U.N.[COMMA NEEDED HERE] we begin to wonder if there is a point to the organization. Is the U.N. relevant anymore, is it really necessary and, if not, then why is it still around?

If we are to debate the need of the United Nations we must first review its history. The League of Nations was formed after World War I at the Paris Peace Conference. The League was very similar to the United Nations. The League failed to prevent World War II or the Holocaust and was dissolved in 1946. In response to the horror of WW II it was decided that there needed to be a new peace-keeping organization with representatives from all countries. The idea of a United Nations was first conceived at the Moscow Conference of 1943. In 1944 representatives from France, the U.K., China, the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. met in Washington, D.C. Fifty delegates from countries all over ["all over" - AWKWARD FOR FORMAL WRITING] the world signed the Charter of the United Nations in San Francisco. Since its foundation the United Nations has [SUPPOSEDLY] striven to promote world peace.

Even though we are discussing whether or not the U.N. is still needed[NEED COMMA] it is true that it has greatly benefited humanity. The U.N. helped to keep peace between the Soviet Union and the U.S. during the cold war[CAPS: Cold War]. Though the two countries were initially friendly, after F.D.R.’s death the two powers grew apart because of Stalin’s cruelty and Truman’s pugnacious attitude towards Russia. The U.N. provided a place where diplomats could discuss world affairs despite the tension between the communist nations and the free world. If the U.N. hadn’t arranged mediation between America and the Soviets during the Cuban Missile Crisis it is likely a nuclear conflict could have broken out [SEEMS OVERSTATED]. If the U.N. had been more involved maybe the Bay of Pigs could have been avoided [THAT NEEDS MORE EXPLANATION]. The U.N. also averted war between the U.K. and Egypt over the Suez Canal.

It is undeniable that the U.N. has helped the world but maybe it has already served its purpose. The U.N. was founded so that another World War could be avoided. Now that the threat of a nuclear conflict between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. is gone[NEED COMMA] the U.N. has lost some of prominence [POOR WORD CHOICE]. The U.N. has changed into a charity organization, when it is supposed to a meeting ground where countries can reconcile. I am not saying relief efforts aren’t [AVOID CONTRACTIONS IN FORMAL WRITING] necessary, they are, but providing charity is not the main purpose of the U.N. The U.N. has failed to prevent wars in the past few decades and in the end failed to make peace between Russia and the U.S. It was the defeat of the Soviet economy that brought peace, not the U.N. There are an overwhelming number of examples where the U.N. has failed to keep the peace. Hundreds of war crimes and atrocities against humanity go unnoticed and unchecked by the U.N.

The proud U.N. has changed much like the world around it but it has not adapted [AWKWARD RUN-ON USE OF PRONOUNS] to suit the needs of a different world. The U.N. has been blackened by corruption. When the U.N. approved the Embargo on Iraq to eliminate weapons of mass destruction it caused the Iraqi food supplies to run low. This embargo was designed to avoid the death of innocents so starving Iraqi peasants would have contradicted the purpose. The U.N. then decided that they would trade food for oil with the Iraqi government to prevent the starvation of thousands of people. The program, dubbed Food for Oil, was headed by Benon Vahe Sevan. Sixty[HYPHEN]five billion dollars’ worth of oil was purchased from Iraq in exchange for food and medicine. The program was corrupt and large amount of relief did not go to the Iraqi people, one hundreds of thousands of people died because of starvation. Where did the food and medical supplies go? It was traded to the bureaucrats and terrorists in exchange for oil. Sevan himself fled the U.S. This scandal is just one example of how the U.N. has failed to fulfill their purpose. In short, instead of giving the starving peasants food the, corrupt U.N. officials traded the food for oil, money, and favors.

The fraud in the U.N. is shameful but all organizations have some amount of corruption, what is extremely disturbing is the lack of action when despots and tyrants oppress their people. The Halajba Poison Attack [WAS], an ethnic cleanse of the Kurdish people by Suddam Hussein which killed thousands of innocent civilians and peasants in a cloud of venom and then went unpunished. The U.N. did nothing to avenge the Kurdish people, besides wagging a finger at Suddam Hussein. When Suddam Hussein was brought to justice it was at the hands of his own people aided by the U.S. government. In the dark continent [POOR WORD CHOICE THAT COULD POTENTIALLY OFFEND - AFRICA HAS AS MUCH SUNLIGHT AS ANYWHERE ELSE] of Africa thousands of people are eradicated in tribal wars while the U.N. sits by unwilling to intervene. Every day people suffer from tyrants and the horrors of war.

The U.N. has failed its purpose, it is now costing more than it solves. We will always need mediation between powers, but the internet provides opportunities for the people of nations to communicate and not just a select few diplomats. Perhaps with the open communication provided by the internet modern countries will lean more to universal laws and human rights? The U.N., if not abolished, must be at least changed to suit the needs of a growing world. Maybe the U.N. will once again become necessary in mediating between the growing economies such as India and China. But then again, maybe it is time the U.N. followed the path of the League of Nations, and is dissolved. [EXCELLENT CONCLUSION]

Terrific opening paragraph to an essay that has some defects but also some strong parts, as noted above. A few technical corrections are noted in CAPS above.
Substantive score: 9.5/10; technical score: 9/10.--Andy Schlafly 20:42, 7 March 2012 (EST)