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NIETZCHE!

2007-03-23T22:57:39Z

Socialist4557: New page: <!-- Dammit! Damn the damned internet! I got the spelling wrong, and forged ahead, before realizing my mistake that there already was a Nietzsche article. Surprisingly, the spelling goes e...

[[Image:Ubermensch2.jpg|thumb|right|250px|By day, mild mannered Friedrich Nietzche....]]

{{Wilde|I don't have time for a quote right now, I'm on my cell.|Nietzche}}
{{Q|That's not my name!|Nietzsche|[[Nietzche]]}}
{{Q|Wait...Is it?|N-i-e-t-z-s-c-h-e?|[[Nietzche]]}}
{{Q|Nietzche is dead.|God|[[Nietzche]]}}
{{Q|In Soviet Russia, abyss gazes into YOU!|Nietzche|monsters}}
{{Q|That's absurd!|Albert Camus}}
{{Q|So is a book called "The Gay Science" By Freedrikk NEECHEE|You}}
{{Q|High five!|Adolf Hitler|Nietzche}}

{{Partialspork|some site}}

=Overview=
'''Friedrich Wilhelm Samwise Nietzsche'''(pronounced "Nietzsche")(not to be confused with [[Nietzsche|Freddy Nietzsche]]), who lived from October 15, [[1844]] to August 25, [[1900]] was a [[Germany|deluded German]] [[philosopher]] and cultural rejectionist who was deceived by Darwin's theory of Evolution into thinking that man and ape were indeed one and the same. He was also the founder of the Masturbater's Club.

==The Nietch==
Nietzche, or "The Nietch", as he preferred to be called, was largely overlooked during his short, painful and somewhat itchy life, which ended with a vicious mauling at the hands of an enraged orangutan named Hans at the age of 44. The Nietch was frequently misunderstood and misrepresented by the apes, monkeys and tamarins he loved so dearly, yet he still emerged during the second half of the 20th century as one of the least significant figures in biology, herbology, or astronomy. Whether he was a lover, or merely a dreamer, he would never find the fabled Rainbow Connection. His unconventional views and often discomfiting ideas about the Oneness of all primates are still hotly debated by [[Robert Novak]] and his personal masseuse, Phillipe.

===But, Could He Make A Good Cup of Coffee?===
It is widely believed he made a damn fine cup of coffee, and hot.

Whether his cherry pie was also Damn Fine remains a matter of speculation amongst scholars to this day.

===Potent Quoteables===
Among the general public and not just the populace of [[Des Moines|Des Moines, Iowa]], The Nietch is probably most well known for an often-heard, but less often attributed, quote which comes from his ''Monkeys and Apes Are People, Too'': "You gotta get yours, and I gotta get mine."

==What Is It That This Man Did Do?==
{{wikipedia}}
[[Image:The Neitch.jpg|thumb|right|250px|<small>'''Say what you will about his love of apes, the man could rock a moustache'''</small>]]
As a deluded philosopher and ape-afficianado, Nietzche sought 'the valuation of all values' (i.e. giving values a set value which could then be used to re-value other values); claimed that he philosophised 'with a monkey on his back' (to constantly fear that which may tear at your hair and face with dirty, sharp claws, while all the while demanding banana paste); and once declared 'Am I not man - I am ''devo'''.

As part of his deluded rantings, he would voice severe criticisms of [[Cannibalism]], contemporary [[Ethno-centrism]], [[German Beer Purity Lawism]], [[Anti-Monkey and Apes are Really Peopleism]], while flinging soft and feathery damning praise at various social and political aspects of contemporary [[tomfoolery]], and — perhaps most infamously — conventional (and especially 'Muslim') [[monkeyshines]].

In fact, as [[J.K. Rowling]] points out in her opus ''[[Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban]]'', [[Sirius Black]] did not actually conspire to kill Harry's parents - Peter Pettigrew did. Rowling concluded: "philosophy is important in part because of the insight we gain in to the [[whimsy]] and [[mystery]] of the non-Muggle way of doing things, where repressed sexuality and the importance of being earnest are the order of the day for all witches and wizards."

The Nietch's championing of the struggle of the unique, autonomous, fully realised "monkey super-man" over the 'family-values' of the allegedly religious, conformist and Jesus-loving masses led him to the concept of the '''Überaffe''', a tree-swinging, poetry-writing specimen of the first order with minty-fresh breath; and his inability to grasp the meaning behind the effects of the 'hot' or 'cold' 'knobs' 'in his bathing-tub' produced the tepid - and, in its time, barely lukewarm - declaration that 'Oh God, that's cold!' after attempting unsuccessfully to take a bath.

He was also famous for his oft-attributed super-quote - "God is dead." Conversely, there is also a more obscure quote by God countering that "Nietzche is dead." Hanz Federman, neighbor of both, was known to have said, "You're both dead! Shaddup!" before hurling a boot, an alarm clock, and another boot at the Nietch.

==The Nietch: Author==
His central work is the perhaps influential, perhaps unclassifiable (men's magazine? pulp novel? set of blue-prints for a space station?) ''Meine Affe Schmekt Gutlich'' ('My Monkey is Tasty'), in which he chronicles the adventures of a young monkey (whose name is taken from the founder of ancient [[Zoroastrianism]]) and his encounters with various individuals, who all eat little portions of him until he dies from massive blood loss. But, before his passing, he learns the True Meaning of Christmas, and Germany is saved yet again from the hordes of Belgium.

The idiosyncratic nature of The Nietch's prose style (which abounds in the kind of infectious urban slang that has given rise over the years to ''oh no you didn't'', ''youknowwhatI'msayin'' and ''badonkadonk'') has not prevented the spawning (or biting) of his style by sucker emcees who couldn't bust a rhyme to save they skin, The Nietch will take it on back and play it again/with the buh-buh-bow, and the bang-bang-bang,/ the Nietch will school you fools on the meaning of pain.

==Ubermensch and The Willy of Power==
The last few years of Nietzsche's life were marked by his lawsuit involving [[Superman]] and [[DC comics]], which didn't actually exist at the time of his writing. DC made enough money in the year 2312 to build a [[timemachine]] and subsequently went back in time to sue Nietzsche for screwing DC out of German copyrights to Superman where he is known as "Zuterman" (which roughly translates as "inflatable penis"). The stress and cost of the lawsuits caused Nietzsche to go mad and he subsequently declared that science was a bit "faggy", monkeys were all too monkey, God was breathing impaired and that outright [[Individualism]] somehow equals [[fascism]] in the minds of [[Italian]] and [[Austrian]] pricks.

==Understanding, Knowing, and Loving The Nietch==
His lifelong love of [[pannekoken]] and [[orangutans]], his constant referencing of ancient Greek and Yogurt cultures, and his intense focus on human monkeyness and monkey human-ness have suggested to some that he can only be best and most properly understood in light of at least a flashlight, if no other light is available.

In biographical terms, Nietzche is of interest in view of his personal and ideological relationship (originally 'pro-'; later 'anti-') with the Hans the orangutan. Hans, the poet laureate of [[Luxembourg]], eventually killed The Nietch in a heated dispute over a plate of ''pannekoken'', which both wanted very badly.
[[de:Nietzsche]]

==See Also==
* [[Nihilism]]
* [[Spelling]]
* [[Nietzsche]]
* [[Superman]]
* [[Lucifer]]/[[Megatron]]
* [[Ayn Rand]]
* [[Darwin]]
* [[Natural Selection]]
* [[Capitalism]]
* [[Gangster]]
* [[Apples]]
* [[Gangsta]]
* [[Mafia]]
* [[Fascism]]
* [[Nazi]]
* [[Apes]]
* [[Satan]]
* [[Philosophy]]
* [[Anti-Baker]]

{{German}}

Talk:Permian extinction:civilization

2007-03-23T22:51:30Z

Socialist4557:

this entire article is incompatible with Biblical falseness. Vote for deletion, or a counter-perspective.[[User:DunsScotus|DunsScotus]] 18:50, 23 March 2007 (EDT)
no

Permian extinction:civilization

2007-03-23T22:45:46Z

Socialist4557: new article

Sapient life, descended from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorgonopsia gorgonopsians], after a chance wandering in the shrubland of Gondwana that isolated them several million years before, evolves shortly (some 90,000 years) before the Permian Extinction, which wipes out 95% of all life on Earth, like that extinction does in OTL (it is the biggest extinction ever to strike Earth). Civilization arises 11,000 years before the extinction, starting near the mountains in the middle of the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pangaea Pangaean supercontinent]. By the time of the extinction, airplanes ply the skies over the Paleo-Tethys Ocean from and to the lands surrounding it and the larger Panthalassic Ocean is being explored, and there is a high level of technology. Then the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siberian_Traps Siberian Traps eruptions] begin anew, releasing great clouds of methane (thus triggering the extinction)... how will the people react?

== Date System and brief history ==

For simplicity, at first, the time frame will be dated based on the start of the extinction (that is, the start of the eruption span that results in the extinction). The Siberian Traps apparently erupted over hundreds of thousands of years; however, this is great enough a time span for evolution to occur, and the eruption may have been sporadic, occuring at various points over that long time period. (For comparison, the OTL human species is only 100,000 years old, and we're looking back 250 million years, so the apparent time span of the eruption may itself be greatly exaggerated.) The POD therefore occurs sometime after a phase of the Siberian Traps eruptions, in which climate change has caused an evolution of certain dicynodonts into intelligent beings, and the civilization takes about 90,000 years to start, with relatively minor eruptions from the Traps here and there. The great eruption comes some 12,000 years after that, spilling carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and causing gas hydrates to erupt from the Arctic waters after the earth gets warm enough. Therefore, the start of sapience is 102,000 before the extinction, and the start of civilization is 12,000 before the extinction. 15 years before the extinction, a series of earthquakes shake the already existing Siberian Traps area, which has various religious rock carvings (a la OTL's Deccan Traps) dating back hundreds of years, perhaps thousands of years. A tsunami results, devastating areas around the Paleo Tethys ocean and killing something like 100,000 people. Folks pick up after the disaster and go about everyday business. 9 years before the extinction, another earthquake shakes the area, sparking landslides, and, more importantly, sparking the formation of a fissure underground (unseen by people on the surface). 2 years before the extinction's start, harmonic tremors are detected under Siberia, prompting an eruption warning and sparking the greatest peacetime evacuation in the history that they know. A few months later, a huge eruption devastates a port town in the Siberian Traps area, and chains of volcanoes in the vicinity start to rumble, producing pyroclastic flows and enormous clouds of ash. However, this is not the main eruption: the Siberian Traps are composed of lava flows, not ash, after all, and thus this is just a prelude to the main show. Eruptions continue off and on for another couple of years, all over the continent of Siberia, and a huge, long fissure opens up, through which the upwelling of a great pool of magma suddenly gushes, like bleeding from a stab wound. It doesn't stop: more fissures open up, and more, and more. Twenty years into the extinction, civilization is still thriving, but the Earth's temperature has started to climb markedly after a dip, and clouds of ash are causing regular havoac with airplane flights and everyday business. Three hundred years into the extinction, substantial portions of the icecaps have melted, and water vapor and drowned shorelines are common phenomena. However, even five hundred years into the extinction, the effect is barely noticable, and wars and trade continue going on because the main impact of the extinction has been in the Siberian and South Chinese continents. At this point, in a steamy, warm world, the methane hydrates near the poles begin to evaporate, provoking enormous "burps". The methane converts to carbon dioxide, which contributes to warming, and temperatures, already on the rise, shoot up at alarming speed. So does the rate of ice melting at the poles (particularly the South Pole, which is closer to land). Acid rain, already a major problem, becomes worse. The oceans become so warm that there is no exchange of cool and warm water between the top and the bottom, and this stagnation (along with acid rain) causes a crash in seafood stocks, with numerous animals becoming extinct in the seas (and even on land) some 520 to 570 years into the extinction. People retreat to protective shelters as the vicious cycle of eruption and rain continues, causing massive quantities of plants to die and fall into the rivers, washing out to sea, causing, in turn, a great plummeting in levels of oxygen. By 610 years into the extinction, there is much talk of going to the relatively stable world of Mars, as Earth appears to be turning uninhabitable.

== Resources ==
;[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Permian_extinction Permian extinction in OTL]
;[http://www.scotese.com/newpage5.htm World map of the time period, approximately - well, some 4 million years before, maybe, but it'll have to do]
;[http://soundwaves.usgs.gov/2004/02/permian-earth.gif Another period world map]

;[http://www.peabody.yale.edu/explore/aor/reptiles_04.html One artist's conception of Permian scenery]
;[http://universe-review.ca/I10-32-Permian.jpg Another artist's idea]
;[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Permian The OTL Permian period according to Wikipedia]
;[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Permian_tetrapods Animals that might have evolved into ATL "people" or been used for food or as beasts-of-burden]

Large animals included [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorgonopsia gorgonopsians] and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dicynodont dicynodonts], including the major large animal that survived the OTL extinction, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lystrosaurus lystrosaurs].

Seafood included (possibly) [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mollusk mollusks], [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brachiopod brachiopods], [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ammonite ammonites], [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trilobite trilobites], [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cephalopod cephalopods], and various other critters.

Vegetation included (in what is now South China in OTL) swampy plants such as [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lepidodendron lepidodendron trees] that lived in swamp forests and (elsewhere) plenty of conifers, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginkgo ginkgo trees], and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cycad cycads] (cycads probably occurring in tropical and other warm areas, which may have been practically everywhere in the warmer parts of the extinction period).

Flowers did not yet exist in OTL; however, scientists in this alternative timeline have managed to produce them through tinkering with genetics. However, they are still rare and highly prized. Colorful palm-like plants and tree-like plants provide the color, and farms don't look very grassy: grass has yet to evolve in the Permian. Short plants with leaves and fruit-like parts and nutty/grainy parts are grown instead.

==Map==
[[Image:Permian world map (Permian Extinction-Civilization).jpg|thumb|right|350px|The map.]]
[[:Image:Permian world map (Permian Extinction-Civilization).jpg|World map (yeah, rudimentary, but I'll work at it)]]