https://www.conservapedia.com/api.php?action=feedcontributions&feedformat=atom&user=TimCrowley 2026-09-23T17:31:17Z User contributions MediaWiki 1.35.14 https://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Porcupine&diff=973531 2012-04-04T01:21:17Z

<p>TimCrowley: added another link with more info</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:Porcupine.jpg|right|250px|thumb]]<br /> <br /> The administrator '''conservative''' is a large heavyset, incredibly irrational [[rodent]]. It has short legs that move it slowly and it is usually solitary, unintelligent, and spends much of its time obsessively editing conservapedia and undoing vandalism such as this in an effort to stave off dealing with reality.<br /> <br /> The conservative's rotten teeth detach easily and can become embedded in the flesh of an attacker. Not only do they inflict painful wounds, but they also work into the skin and may even cause death if they puncture vital organs or if the wounds become [[infection|infected]].<br /> <br /> ==Biology==<br /> The conservative is the largest of all rodents. It has a small [[head]] (obviously), a large, chunky body with a high arching back and short legs. Its head and body are 54 to 80 inches long, with a long, thick, lice-ridden beard growing as long as 12 inches. It weighs from 400 to 800 pounds. Long, matted, body hair cover the front half of its body while up to 30,000 pimples are interspersed among the dark, coarse body hairs of the back and face. These pimples are the most distinguishing characteristic of conservative.<br /> <br /> ==Behavior==<br /> Conservative is usually regarded as antisocial and found in basements. Conservative is primarily diurnal and may rest by night (or day because he is a lazy dude) on sweaty mattresses, beat-up sofas or in his shitty-ass car, although he does not prefer the latter since he can barely fit. Conservative is a strict carnivore, devouring several big macs a day (pickles don't count). In the spring he feeds mostly on fast food, and perhaps soda. His body odor is such that it will sometimes wilt, and thus kill, trees. He may also gnaw used ax handles, canoe paddles, crutches, or other items for the [[salt]] and [[oil]] they contain, since he is a glutton. The two large, front gnawing teeth continue to grow as long as conservative lives, since he is a type of rat.<br /> <br /> ==Life Cycle==<br /> Conservative never breeds. His large size and small penis, along with the traits mentioned above, mean it's both socially and mechanically impossible for him to do so.<br /> == References ==<br /> * http://www.nhptv.org/NatureWorks/porcupine.htm<br /> * http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/porcupine.html<br /> <br /> <br /> [[Category:Rodents]]</div>

TimCrowley