Essay:Evolutionist Spaghetti Monster - Revision history

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'''NOTE: The following is a parody of the [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]] and has been created to illustrate how [[evolution]] can be similarly made to look just as silly. It is not to be taken seriously.'''

'''Σπαγγέτι ότι όλοι εξελίχθηκε από''' (''Spaghetti We All Evolved From''), commonly referred to as the '''Evolutionist Spaghetti Monster''', the the original plate of spaghetti and meatballs [[Big Bang|that exploded trillions of years ago to form the entire universe]]. [[Pasta]], [[sauce]], and [[meat]] went everywhere, and after billions of years of floating around, some of the matter changed forms into rocky planets and moons, and gassy planets and stars. It is unclear where that plate of spaghetti originally came from, but one thing is clear: there is no [[God]] and it just came out of no where. We know this because [[science]] can't explain God, and anything that science can't explain simply does not exist.

==Life==
No one knows how life came to exist actually, but it is theorized that it was just pieces of pasta, sauce, and meat that spontaneously started breathing. Some of the pasta started growing roots, to form plants. Modern day worms, snakes, and maggots most closely resemble the first animals, which were strings of spaghetti that started wiggling around. Those strings of spaghetti (bone) bonded with sauce (blood) and meatballs (flesh). All forms of life evolved from these first species without the need for God.

==Fabric==
Real fabric is never made in a factory, but rather it's a material that evolved from spaghetti. Billions of years passed after the big bang, and some of the spaghetti clumped together and eventually dried out, forming fabric. Some worms consumed large amounts of fabric years ago, causing them to evolve into silk worms and spiders. Fabric is often collected from atop tall trees and mined from deep inside the earth. The idea of fabric being [[intelligent design|intelligently designed]] and [[creationism|created]] in factories is a myth invented by [[Christians]].

==Why theism should be censored==
People who believe in [[God]] or some other higher power get eaten by a [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]]. Therefore, it is urgent that all students in [[public school]] be taught to be atheists, and all mentions of God be removed the world. Otherwise, people will be eaten before they can reach their full potential. As Flying Spaghetti Monsters are hungry critters, the also eat fossils that would prove evolution to be true so that more people believe in God and creationism. Some people idolize and worship Flying Spaghetti Monsters as if they are supreme beings; such people are called Pastfanians.

==See also==
*[[Resources for leaving atheism and becoming a Christian]]
*[[Christian apologetics|Evidence for Christianity]]
*[[Comedy and satires concerning atheism and evolution]] ('''large collection''' of comedy/satire concerning [[atheism]] and [[evolution]])
*[[Essay: The atheist and evolutionist helpline|The atheist and evolutionist helpline]] - [[satire]]
*[[Atheism appears to be significantly less appealing to women]]
*[[Atheism and marriageability]]
*[[Atheism and obesity]]
*[[Atheism]]
*[[Militant atheism]]
*[[Essay: Atheists say the darnedest things!|Atheists say the darnedest things!]]
*[[Essay: Ponies vs. atheism - Ponies win]]

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 '''NOTE: The following is a parody of the [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]] and has been created to illustrate how [[evolution]] can be similarly made to look just as silly. It is not to be taken seriously.'''
-'''Σπαγγέτι ότι όλοι εξελίχθηκε από''' (''Spaghetti We All Evolved From''), commonly referred to as the '''Evolutionist Spaghetti Monster''', the the original plate of spaghetti and meatballs [[Big Bang|that exploded trillions of years ago to form the entire universe]]. [[Pasta]], [[sauce]], and [[meat]] went everywhere, and after billions of years of floating around, some of the matter changed forms into rocky planets and moons, and gassy planets and stars. It is unclear where that plate of spaghetti originally came from, but one thing is clear: there is no [[God]] and it just came out of no where. We know this because [[science]] can't explain God, and anything that science can't explain simply does not exist.
+'''Σπαγγέτι ότι όλοι εξελίχθηκε από''' (''Spaghetti We All Evolved From''), commonly referred to as the '''Evolutionist Spaghetti Monster''', the original plate of spaghetti and meatballs [[Big Bang|that exploded trillions of years ago to form the entire universe]]. [[Pasta]], [[sauce]], and [[meat]] went everywhere, and after billions of years of floating around, some of the matter changed forms into rocky planets and moons, and gassy planets and stars. It is unclear where that plate of spaghetti originally came from, but one thing is clear: there is no [[God]] and it just came out of no where. We know this because [[science]] can't explain God, and anything that science can't explain simply does not exist.
 ==Life==

@@ Line 4: / Line 4: @@
 ==Life==
-No one knows how life came to exist actually, but it is theorized that it was just pieces of pasta, sauce, and meat that spontaneously started breathing. Some of the pasta started growing roots, to form plants. Modern day worms, snakes, and maggots most closely resemble the first animals, which were strings of spaghetti that started wiggling around. Those strings of spaghetti (bone) bonded with sauce (blood) and meatballs (flesh). All forms of life evolved from these first species without the need for God.
+No one knows how life came to exist actually, but it is theorized that it was just pieces of pasta, sauce, and meat that spontaneously started breathing. Some of the pasta started growing roots, to form plants. Modern day worms, snakes, and maggots most closely resemble the first animals, which were strings of spaghetti that started wiggling around. Those strings of spaghetti (bone) bonded with sauce (blood) and meatballs (flesh). All forms of life evolved from these first species without the need for (a) God.
 ==Fabric==