Essay: Erasmus Darwin's unique dinner table

One of the great mysteries of the history of evolutionists is what kind of saw evolutionist Erasmus Darwin used to cut a semi-circle in his dining table so that his enormous girth could be accommodated at meal times. Why is it it that so many prominent evolutionists have been so bad at applied biology?

See: Evolutionists who have had problems with being overweight and/or obese

The evolutionist Erasmus Darwin, who was Charles Darwin's grandfather, is believed to have influenced Charles Darwin as far as the development of Charles Darwin's evolutionary beliefs.

Erasmus Darwin, like PZ Myers and a significant portion of the leadership of the New Atheist movement, was not particularly good at applied biology when it came to his own body (see also: Professor PZ Myers fails his applied biology course and New Atheism leadership's problem with excess weight).

An article entitled Darwinism: it was all in the family declares concerning Erasmus Darwin:

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His love of food (particularly fruits, sugar, cream and butter) was matched by his dislike of exercise, and by the age of 46 he had grown so corpulent that a semi-circle had to be cut out of his dining table to accommodate his girth at meal times.

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See also: Evolutionists who have had problems with being overweight and/or obese and Atheism and obesity

Erasmus Darwin was not very good at applied biology when it came to his own body

Erasmus Darwin was not very good at applied biology when it came to his own body.

Physical and mental health related problems associated with obesity

Some of the medical conditions associated with obesity include: type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and triglycerides, coronary artery disease (CAD), stroke, arthritis, cancer, sleep apnea, reproductive problems in women and varicose veins. In addition, medical science research indicates that excess weight impairs brain function.

According to the Mayo Clinic some of the symptoms associated with obesity can include:

Medical science research indicates that excess weight impairs brain function.

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Difficulty sleeping Snoring Sleep apnea Pain in your back or joints Excessive sweating Always feeling hot Rashes or infection in folds of your skin Feeling out of breath with minor exertion Daytime sleepiness or fatigue Depression

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See also

• Where was neuroscientist Sam Harris when the New Atheists needed him? - satire
• PZ Myers embarrasses himself at the Creation Museum - satire
• Militant atheism and short man's syndrome - satire
• Atheism and obesity
• Comedy and satires concerning atheism and evolution (large collection of comedy/satire concerning atheism and evolution)
• Prominent atheists weighed on the scales and found wanting - satire
• Overweight atheists comedy and satire

Don't miss these pictures with captions!

Nate Phelps spoke at the 2009 American Atheists convention.

Kim Il Sung was a communist dictator and an obese atheist who died of a heart attack. Kimchi is one of the world's most healthiest foods and very popular among Koreans. Unfortunately, for Kim II Song, he ate too much of it.

See: More kimchi please

The atheist PZ Myers has been challenged to a debate by Vox Day, but PZ Myers has yet to agree to debate (Dr. Myers is quite aware he would lose such a debate). However, the current consensus within the scientific community is that Vox Day can do many more sit-ups than PZ Myers.

Did PZ Myers' ascent and descent of the triceratops at the Creation Museum really prove that pigs cannot fly?

Please see: PZ Myers embarrasses himself at the Creation Museum

Because obese atheist pet owners are such poor role models, tragically their pets often become obese too.

In addition, when an obese atheists is confronted by spouse or family member concerning their obesity, they often point to their obese pet and say "Everybody is doing it."

The perverse and cruel French atheist Marquis de Sade laced candy with a substance that made people very sick. There was no shortage of candy in the de Sade house. The Marque de Sade developed a considerable problem with obesity during his life.

The Barna Group found concerning atheism and morality that those who hold to the worldviews of atheism or agnosticism in America were more likely, than theists in America, to look upon the following behaviors as morally acceptable: illegal drug use; excessive drinking; sexual relationships outside of marriage; abortion; cohabitating with someone of opposite sex outside of marriage; obscene language; gambling; pornography and obscene sexual behavior; and engaging in homosexuality/bisexuality.

Of course, once sly marketers in Las Vegas found out that many atheists love gambling they promptly installed elaborate desert stations at their casino buffets. Casino buffets are often referred to as "Obese atheists heaven".

Scholars debate whether the philosopher David Hume was an atheist or agnostic. There is broad agreement among historians though that Mr. Hume was not fond of vigorous exercise and dieting.

Ken Ham often yodels when climbing up and down the triceratops at the Creation Museum and he also yodels when engaging in mountain climbing. To the best of Conservapedia's knowledge, the corpulent PZ Myers does not engage in mountain climbing.

Besides being a lover of atheistic Communism, Chairman Mao Zedong was also quite fond of all you can eat Chinese buffets. Unfortunately, for the Chinese people the atheistic political philosophy of communism didn't prove to be very good at providing food for the Chinese citizenry and many people needlessly starved as a result.

Atheists commonly reject the existence of the devil and the devil takes great delight in inciting atheists to gluttony. The popular Christian YouTube producer shockofgod has pointed out that although atheists often criticize the God of the Bible, atheists never criticize the devil because they don't want to criticize their father.

"My dear brethren, do not ever forget, when you hear the progress of lights praised, that the loveliest trick of the Devil is to persuade you that he does not exist!" - Charles Baudelaire, The Generous Gambler

"While working your hardest, quite rightly, on other fronts, you must not neglect a little quiet infiltration in respect of gluttony...Males are best turned into gluttons with the help of their vanity. They ought to be made to think themselves very knowing about food, to pique themselves on having found the only restaurant in the town where steaks are really "properly" cooked." - the demonic character Screwtape in C.S. Lewis's, Screwtape Letters