Essay: Humorous quotes about atheist web marketing

"Atheist websites have lost a ton of web traffic. The hostility I am getting over my Internet atheism and the coronavirus pandemic article is unbelievable...It's like..picture this...

Atheist web marketers are clowns and they didn't know it. And then I got the clowns together and forced them to look in the mirror. And they saw themselves in all their red hair, big noses, big shoes, polka dot glory." - User: Conservative

• "You atheists, I love you, but it must feel very embarrassing to be so bad at digital marketing when you claim to be so great when it comes to science and technology. Christian websites continue to outperform atheist websites by a large margin when it comes to web traffic. The English mathematician and inventor Charles Babbage, who is credited with having conceived the first automatic digital computer, was a Christian who believed that God was the ultimate programmer. And the Scientific Revolution happened in Christianized Europe. I always knew that Christendom would achieve total victory over atheistdom on the information superhighway. Britain is the birthplace of godless Darwinism. The new atheist Richard Dawkins is a British citizen as so was the late Christopher Hitchens. For years, Britain has had a road repair crisis. In 2013, Britain had one pothole in every mile of road. If godless Britain can't even master basic road engineering and road budgeting, how can atheists ever master digital marketing and establish a respectable internet presence over the long term? Godless, British atheists and evolutionists, I laugh at Britain's pothole pandemic! He who sits in the heavens laughs. On behalf of all meek and humble Christians on the internet, I hereby declare total victory! Olé! Olé! Olé! - User: Conservative

• "Atheist websites have lost a ton of web traffic. The hostility I am getting over my Internet atheism and the coronavirus pandemic article is unbelievable...It's like... picture this... Atheist web marketers are clowns and they didn't know it. And then I got the clowns together and forced them to look in the mirror. And they saw themselves in all their red hair, big noses, big shoes, polka dot glory. Game over atheists. You have nothing. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Game over." - User: Conservative

• "I received another email about a Christian web article ranking high on the internet for a Google web search. Now as you guys know, internet atheists are very glum and frustrated. It is obvious. Their web pages are dropping their Google rankings like flies. Oh atheists, feel the sting." - User: Conservative

• "The RationalWiki website has failed. Internet atheism has failed. Well, you know they're atheists. They're used to failure. Every atheists has failed." - User: Conservative

• "The coronavirus pandemic greatly negatively affected the web traffic going to atheist websites. What is going to happen when an economic recession happens to many of the world's countries? Internet atheism is going to be further hammered down and ground into a fine dust. As the theist, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said so aptly, "The mills of God grind slowly, yet they grind exceeding small." With each passing day, atheist websites will lose more and more Google rankings. Atheist webmasters, weep and wail over the misery that will soon befall you. What will you do on the day of financial reckoning when economic devastation comes upon your website's web marketing budget? Your ugly, atheistic, website cows designed by lightweight web designers will become even more ugly and gaunt and they will receive even less web traffic than they do now - which is not much! I will laugh when this calamity of calamities falls upon you. I hope that some of the few atheist websites remaining on the internet will not be able to afford web hosting and disappear off the information superhighway. They were so sad and ineffective that it will be no great loss to atheistdom, but atheists will weep and wail because what little web presence they have will become even less. Oh atheists, feel the sting!" - User: Conservative

• "Recently, I was watching a self-described atheist, borderline alcoholic and marketing professional pointlessly argue with a paranoid individual at a secular leftist wiki for weeks while the website continues to experience long-term web traffic loss. Sun Tzu's strategies and tactics utilize the "Eastern tradition of strategy that emphasizes outwitting an opponent through speed, stealth, flexibility, and a minimum of effort." As much as I hate to say it atheist gentlemen, atheistdom cannot outrun the Christian web marketing cheetahs! - User: Conservative

(The quotes were inspired by YouTube Christian Shockofgod who I borrowed some of quotes from with some changes being made. See: Classic quotes from the Shockofgod YouTube channel)

"He opens the waters before them, and he bars our way with fire! Let us go from this place!" - Pharoh's military commander in Cecil DeMille's classic movie The Ten Commandments.

The Matthew effect's etymology can be traced to Gospel of Matthew which declares Jesus as saying: "For to every one who has will more be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who has not, even what he has will be taken away." (Matthew 25:29, RSV).

Atheists, even the paltry web traffic your websites are currently getting will be further and further taken away.

Atheists, leave the internet before it's too late! You've embarrassed yourselves already. Don't further embarrass yourselves.

For more information, please see: Internet outreach and the Matthew effect: Atheist websites vs. religious websites

Large list of atheist websites that have lost much of their web traffic with supporting data

• Large list of atheist websites that have lost web traffic - with supporting data

Every internet atheist is a pathetic, uninfluential loser that God Almighty has smited

See also: Every internet atheist is a pathetic, uninfluential loser that God Almighty has smited

I have a message for every internet atheist: You're a pathetic, uninfluential loser who has been totally defeated by God Almighty. The facts are undeniable. The data is incontrovertible.

For example, the data given at the link Every internet atheist is a pathetic, uninfluential loser that God Almighty has smited shows that Christendom is very influential on the internet while internet atheists largely preach to the atheist choir and are therefore uninfluential and unimportant. In short, a defeated laughingstock on the internet.

Online atheists, I am laughing at the "superior atheist intellects" who couldn't persuade and market their way out of a wet, paper bag.

And the margin of victory for Christendom over atheists is widening on the internet - not growing smaller. Oh, internet atheists! Feel the sting! You're such pathetic, uninfluential losers!

For more information, please see: Every internet atheist is a pathetic, uninfluential loser that God Almighty has smited

Atheists' defeats comedy and satire

See: Atheists' defeats comedy and satire

Modern day digital marketing Christians vs. luddite, digital marketing atheists rap song

See: Modern day digital marketing Christians vs. luddite, digital marketing atheists rap song

Internet atheism and the coronavirus pandemic

Electron microscope scan of a coronavirus, so-called due to the crown-like filaments on the surface.

See: Atheism and the coronavirus pandemic

See also: Internet atheism and the coronavirus pandemic

Several atheist websites did very poorly during the coronavirus pandemic and lost a large amount of their traffic since the early part of 2020 (See: Internet atheism and the coronavirus pandemic).

Historically, religiosity increases during pandemics. Pew Research found people's religious faith grew during the pandemic - especially in the United States. Nearly three-in-ten U.S. adults say the outbreak has boosted their faith; about four-in-ten say it has tightened family bonds.

In addition, many atheist organizations have significant difficulty in getting their fellow atheist to financially support them (see: Atheist organizations and fundraising), so their web marketing budgets could have been low during the pandemic. In addition, many atheist organizations have poor fiscal management so they may not have had reserves built up before the pandemic (see: Atheist organizations and financial mismanagement).

On the other hand, there were major Christian websites that saw their web traffic substantially grow during the coronavirus pandemic (See: Christian websites and the coronavirus pandemic).

The atheist websites might never gain that traffic back again as the number of atheists in the world is expected to drop before mid-2022 according to the scholars at the Center for the Study of Global Christianity at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. Currently, the global atheist population is losing market share in terms of the world's population (see: Global atheism statistics).

Sam Harris' websites loss of Google referral web traffic

Sam Harris' website lost a significant amount of its referral traffic from Google since January 2020.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

American Atheists website and its loss of Google referral traffic

See also: American Atheists

According to the leading web marketing company SEMRush, the American Atheists' website has lost a large proportion of it Google referral traffic. As of March 10, 2023, the website was receiving 93,000 monthly web visits via Google referral traffic.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

RationalWiki and its large drop in Google referral traffic since October 2019 and during/after 2020

See also: RationalWiki and the coronavirus pandemic and RationalWiki and web traffic and RationalWiki

According to the leading web marketing company SEMRush, the RationalWiki.org website has experienced a huge drop in Google referral traffic in the latter part of 2019 and as of December 22, 2022 it merely receives 75,100 monthly visits via Google referral traffic.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

Indications that RationalWiki lacked funds during the pandemic

See also: RationalWiki and the coronavirus pandemic

On May 29, 2022, one of the founders of the RationalWiki website indicated "Currently the donations we get are sparse... We have not done a donation drive in a long time and have not been self-supporting for over a year....". Rationalwiki has not complied with non-profit reporting requirements for 7 consecutive years. See also: Atheist organizations and fundraising and Atheist fundraising vs. religious fundraising

Indications that RationalWiki had poor leadership during the pandemic

See also: RationalWiki and its poor leadership during the pandemic and Atheism and leadership

There are indications that RationalWiki had poor leadership during the coronavirus pandemic (see: RationalWiki and its poor leadership during the pandemic).

Richard Dawkins' website and loss of Google referral traffic

Richard Dawkins declared "Christianity may actually be our best defence against aberrant forms of religion that threaten the world". See also: Richard Dawkins and Islam

See also: Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science website

File:Richarddawkins.net Google referral traffic as of December 23, 2022 according to SEMRush .jpg

The Richard Dawkins website has lost a large portion on its monthly Google referral traffic.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

Center for Inquiry website's loss of Google referral web traffic

Paul Kurtz was the founder of the Center for Inquiry.

See also: Center for Inquiry

The Center for Inquiry website lost a large majority of its Google referral web traffic from its peak Google referral traffic according to the leading web marketing website SEMRush.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

Skeptoid.com's Loss of Google referral web traffic

See also: Skeptoid

Since December of 2018, the website Skeptoid has lost a high proportion of its Google referral traffic according to the leading web marketing website SEMRush.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

Atheist Republic's loss of Google referral web traffic

See also: Atheist Republic

Since May 2019, the Atheist Republic website lost a large majority of its Google referral web traffic according to the leading web marketing website SEMRush.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

Atheist Alliance International website: Loss of Google referral traffic

See also: Atheist Alliance International

The Atheist Alliance International website lost a very large proportion of its Google referral traffic since its peak amount of Google referral web traffic according to the leading web marketing website SEMRush.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

Secular Web's website: Loss of Google referral traffic

See also: Secular Web

Since 2011, the Secular Web's website lost a high proportion of its Google referral web traffic.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

The Orbit: Loss of Google referral traffic

In 2018, The Orbit website lost a considerable amount of its global market share according to the web traffic tracking company Alexa. On December 24, 2018, Alexa ranked The Orbit the 661,244th most popular website in the world.

See also: The Orbit

Since March 2017, The Orbit website lost a large portion of its Google referral web traffic according to the leading web marketing website SEMRush.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

Atheist Ireland website: Loss of Google referral traffic

See also: Michael Nugent

The Atheist Ireland website lost a very large proportion of its Google referral traffic since its peak amount of Google referral web traffic according to the leading web marketing website SEMRush.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

The Atheist Revolution website: Loss of Google referral traffic

See also: Internet atheism

The Atheist Revolution website lost a very large proportion of its Google referral traffic since its peak amount of Google referral web traffic according to the leading web marketing website SEMRush.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

John W. Loftus' Debunking Christianity website: Loss of Google referral traffic

See also: John W. Loftus

John W. Loftus' Debunking Christianity website lost a very large proportion of its Google referral traffic since its peak amount of Google referral web traffic according to the leading web marketing website SEMRush.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

Christian websites and the pandemic

See also: Internet evangelism: Christians vs. atheists

A number of major Christian websites, such as Christianity.com and Gotquestions.org, saw significant increases in their Google referral traffic during the difficult coronavirus pandemic time period (See: Internet evangelism: Christians vs. atheists).

Biblegateway.com and Google referral traffic

During the coronavirus pandemic, the multilingual website Biblegateway.com experienced an increase in Google referral traffic from the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic to July 30, 2022 according to the data from the leading web marketing company SEMRush.com.

Large multilingual websites with a lot of traffic from around the world such as Biblegateway.com have a large amount of relevant inbound links from around the world.

Christianity.com and Google referral traffic

During the coronavirus pandemic, the website Christianity.com had an increase in Google referral traffic from the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic to July 30, 2022 according to the data from the leading web marketing company SEMRush.com.

The amount of Google referral traffic to Christianity.com has gone significanly since February 2016 according to the leading web marketing website SEMRush and the website's Google referral traffic increased during the pandemic. SEMRush says the website is getting about 6,250,000 monthly referral visits from Google in July 2022.

Got Questions Ministries and Google referral traffic

In December of 2020, the Christian internet ministry Got Questions Ministries saw a very large increase in its Google referral traffic according to the leading web marketing website SEMRush.

According to the article 1,000+ Winners and Losers of the December 2020 Google Core Algorithm Update the website Gotquestions.org saw the 7th biggest increase in Google referral traffic as far as the 50 domains that saw the greatest percent gain in Google visibility.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

Large multilingual websites with a lot of Google referral traffic from around the world such as Gotquestions.org have a large amount of relevant inbound links from around the world.

Conservapedia: The trustworthy, online encyclopedia that godless, British motorists trust when doing searches at Google UK

See also: Conservapedia: The trustworthy, online encyclopedia that godless, British motorists trust when doing searches at Google UK

Conservapedia's article United Kingdom's road repair crisis ranks #4 at Google UK for a web searcher doing a search for "United Kingdom's road repair crisis" from the UK. The top 5 search results are considered to be favorable search results by search engine optimization specialists.

Google personalizes results depending on what location the searcher performs his search.

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

Web search results a godless, British motorist would receive if he were doing a search while vacationing in the United States while using a specialized SEO tool

Conservapedia: The trustworthy, online encycyclopedia that godless, British motorists trust when doing searches at Google UK if he were doing a search in the United States.

Google personalizes results depending on what location the searcher performs his search.

Please notice that Conservapedia outranks the leading British newspaper Express at Google UK for the keyword "United Kingdom's road repair crisis" - despite the Express article having 13 websites linking to their page (Data provided by the leading web marketing company Ahrefs).

Google uses over 200 factors to evaluate the quality and the relevance of a website to various topics.

See also

• Comedy and satires concerning atheism and evolution

• Humorous quotes about atheism and evolution