|Impact of the wrong direction on personality|
|«The mental health aspects are triggering factor for the bodily thrills and physical reactions. The consequences of wavering attitude, originated and left unresolved during childhood, will become more and more serious, and in the end define and determine an entire personality structure. If the people around and educators do not spot the wrong direction in time, it may, from the perspective of further development, affect a person to a fatal degree, giving a false impression as if there is no way back.»
— Simon Th. Dijkstra
Simon Th. Dijkstra is a man who quit the homosexual alias sodomitical lifestyle and now maintains that so called “homosexuality” is in majority of cases a learnt pattern of behavior deeply rooted in one’s childhood.
Dijkstra self-describes himself as shy and lacking self-confidence during his childhood age and considers this to be the most likely result of general fears of his parents who faced challenging and unstable post-war period in the society. He recalls as uniformed men became the object of his admiration in contrast to his own self-pity about lacking their boldness and courage. In his fantasies, he dreamt about having a chance to enjoy their protection. These self-indulgent attitudes, together with “you should have been born girl”- kind of remarks made by people around him, he assures now, paved the way for his inclinations towards “homosexuality”, or sodomy, respectively. He portrays his farther as not particularly helpful in affirming his personal masculine identity and regards such affirmation of chief importance in child’s mental development. Lacking any support from his father, he sought out the missing personality traits such as maleness and strength in other boys. The more was the reality in discrepancy with a dream, the more he was escaping into “the world of fantasy” and self-pity, that is in his opinion undermining the person’s ability to struggle with life’s challenges.
His imagination gradually intensified so that it was difficult to tackle. Around that time another man started to be interested in Dijkstra, matching his timid dreams about having someone else to be with. However, the reality of relationship was marked with unfaithfulness and boredom and pushed Dijkstra to search for “real friendship”. He describes the following period as seeing world of deceit via “rose-colored glasses”. He felt more and more unrestrained in his restless search for “happiness” and avoided any healthy self-examination. In consequence of frequent contacts with homosexual culture he unwillingly picked up their habits and “rules of the game” without noticing the detrimental impact on his personality. The gradual sinking into addiction caused him to deceive others by promising them nonexistent love and faithfulness, everything only in order to get what he was after: to become the subject of their desires and adoration. From time to time, especially when suffering from loneliness, he received the signals from his sub-conscience and “anticipated what truth is”, but he did not allow this truth to penetrate his conscience. Instead, he continued to indulge in his passions, while making illusive excuses that he is “young, pretty, free, not bound to anything, worth of adoration and envy”.
At a dead end
Gradually, Dijkstra became enslaved in homosexuality and perceived other people only as the objects of his desires, although now he already considers them part of God’s creation. In his view, he let things to go so far, that the lack of identification with his masculine identity led to deformation of his personality and to disharmony of his very being, thus he became a figurehead held by fantasies, desires, selfish passions, chaos and the body worship. He ascertains that in result of the wrong channelization of his sexuality development, he became in many respects having poor record of social contacts. On the one hand, he liked to befriend people who approved his lifestyle; on the other hand, he rejected and avoided all those who treated “homosexual” alias sodomitical lifestyle dismissively. He considered latter ones to be “cawing crows”, kind of backward people who just "need a lesson."
Nevertheless, Dijkstra reports that later he made a remarkable discovery that “In Christ, there are no enrooted immutable life schemes, let them be engraved in an individual for whatever time”. After that, he refused not only his “old homosexual identity” but also a “selfish, envious, self-pitting, and rationalizing inner man”. He opines the change is “a process, development, which begins a day, when a person asks: ’Lord, what do you want me to do?’“. One day he converged to conclusion that he fell in love with woman and with admirable assurance he made an offer to her. He portrays a relationship with her as surprisingly precious and delightful, utterly different from ‘unbridled desire to posses’ in homosexual alias sodomitical relationship. Six years after his conversion from homosexual lifestyle he enjoyed news about soon becoming a father.
- Simon Th. Dijkstra et al. (2011). "Sen Lásky", Ilúzia Lásky: V ohnisku homosexualita (Illusion of Love: homosexuality in focus) (in Slovak). MSJEK, 41–50. ISBN 978-80-89279-55-5.
- Petra Grimber. Schrei nach Liebe: Brennpunkt Homosexualität : Erfahrungsberichte, Was sagt die Bibel?, Ursachen und Therapie (German). Schwengeler Verlag.