Difference between revisions of "Talk:Essay:Born Outside the U.S.A.!"

From Conservapedia
Jump to: navigation, search
(It's called humor...)
Line 46: Line 46:
 
:This is absolute genius!! --[[User:PMichael|PMichael]] 20:05, 3 February 2009 (EST)
 
:This is absolute genius!! --[[User:PMichael|PMichael]] 20:05, 3 February 2009 (EST)
 
::Mr. Schlafly, I knew Weird Al, I worked with Weird Al, Weird Al was my friend.  Mr. Sclafly, you're no Weird Al.  [[User:CraigC|CraigC]] 23:22, 3 February 2009 (EST)
 
::Mr. Schlafly, I knew Weird Al, I worked with Weird Al, Weird Al was my friend.  Mr. Sclafly, you're no Weird Al.  [[User:CraigC|CraigC]] 23:22, 3 February 2009 (EST)
 +
 +
 +
== Conservapedia songs ==
 +
 +
You know, Andy is right. Some of the liberals on here are severely lacking in any sense of humour. Conservatives, on the other hand, are blessed with a healthy sense of humour. While a [[liberal]] would remove songs poking fun at them (or their leaders), and a liberal website like Wikipedia would block users for posting it, [[conservatives]] don't engage in such behaviour. To suggest otherwise is liberal [[deceit]]. To prove it, here are some novelty songs which poke fun at Conservapedia. I am confident that the Powers That Be on this site will see the value of these songs as works of satire, and will retain them on the site as proof that conservatives are not afraid of criticism or satire.
 +
 +
 +
'''To the tune of "Castle on a Cloud"''' - ''Les Miserables''
 +
 +
 +
There is a wiki on a cloud<br />
 +
I like to go there all the time<br />
 +
Aren't any liberal facts you'll find <br />
 +
Not in my wiki on a cloud
 +
 +
<br /> I know a place where Earth is young
 +
<br /> It's been around six thousand years
 +
<br /> Evolution is not allowed
 +
<br /> Not in my wiki on a cloud
 +
 +
<br /> There are my sysops, they're all white
 +
<br /> They keep filthy liberals out of sight
 +
<br /> They're all straight and they're not too bright
 +
<br /> And they say: "Schlafly, you're always, always right."
 +
 +
<br /> I know that Reagan tore down a wall
 +
<br /> Dawkins is no professor too
 +
<br /> And Obama belongs to the House of Saud
 +
<br /> So says my wiki on a cloud
 +
 +
 +
 +
'''To the tune of "I am the very model of a modern Major-General"''' - ''The Pirates of Penzance''
 +
 +
 +
<br /> I am the pasty shadow of a naval petty-officer.
 +
<br /> My ship went down because of me, I mourn the very loss of her.
 +
<br /> I’m retired now, I’ve been discharged, I blame the liberal media.
 +
<br /> But I have high rank in my new ship: the SS Conservapedia
 +
 +
<br /> I’m well acquainted with the rules; I make them up as I go along.
 +
<br /> Don’t dare accuse me of abuse, I’ll have you know I’m never wrong.
 +
<br /> I don’t know shit about a thing, but know that I am always right.
 +
<br /> Liberal edits are not allowed, by God you WILL respect this site!
 +
 +
<br /> '' Liberal edits are not allowed, by God you WILL respect this site!
 +
<br /> ''Liberal edits are not allowed, by God you WILL respect this site!
 +
<br /> ''Liberal edits are not allowed, by God you WILL respect this quality site!''
 +
 +
<br /> Liberals in this land today have got completely out of hand.
 +
<br /> A single atheistic edit will get you permanently banned.
 +
<br /> Your edits may at times be good, but I’m sure that they’re bad oftener.
 +
<br /> I am the pasty shadow of a naval petty-officer.
 +
 +
<br /> ''Your edits may at times be good, but we're sure that they’re bad oftener.
 +
<br /> ''He is the pasty shadow of a naval petty-officer. ''
 +
 +
<br /> I’m always on duty, around the clock, with an hourly break to m4sturbate.
 +
<br /> I will not rest until I’ve blocked every IP in each blue state.
 +
<br /> Don’t say a word against a thing that I ever say or do,
 +
<br /> I risked my life swabbing decks to defend obnoxious sh1ts like you.
 +
 +
<br /> If you disagree you’re banned for life for coming here to pick a fight.
 +
<br /> If you’re left of Rush I swear to God you must be from “the other site”.
 +
<br /> The sysops will make you our bitch, we run Conservapedia.
 +
<br /> Don’t try to add a thing from that infernal Wikipedia.
 +
 +
<br /> ''Don’t try to add a thing from that infernal Wikipedia.
 +
<br /> ''Don’t try to add a thing from that infernal Wikipedia.
 +
<br /> ''Don’t try to add a thing from that infernal liberal Wikipedia.''
 +
 +
 +
'''To the tune of "When You're a Jet"''' - ''West Side Story''
 +
 +
 +
<br /> When you're a sysop
 +
<br /> You're a sysop all the way,
 +
<br /> From your first "90/10"
 +
<br /> To your last "Ice-wedj Gang."
 +
 +
<br /> When you can block,
 +
<br /> If the liberals fight,
 +
<br /> You don't take no nonsense
 +
<br /> 'Cuz might equals right.
 +
 +
<br /> You're never offline.
 +
<br /> You're never disconnected.
 +
<br /> You're home all alone.
 +
<br /> When vandals are expected
 +
<br /> You can protect it.
 +
 +
<br /> Then you know Truth
 +
<br /> With a capital T
 +
<br /> Ignoring the evidence
 +
<br /> You choose not to see.
 +
<br /> If you're not a sysop
 +
<br /> M Y O B
 +
 +
<br /> Oh when the sysops fall in to the party line
 +
<br /> The Right can't be wrong so we'll do just fine
 +
<br /> And when the liberals see us with our arguments
 +
<br /> They're gonna run, gonna flee, gonna pee in their pants
 +
 +
<br /> When you're a sysop
 +
<br /> You don't take no spunk.
 +
<br /> Anyone who disagrees is
 +
<br /> Just a Liberal Punk.
 +
 +
<br /> When you're a sysop
 +
<br /> It's OK to cheat
 +
<br /> As long as you don't use
 +
<br /> Some Liberal Deceit
 +
 +
<br /> The sysops are in gear
 +
<br /> We're editing on fire.
 +
<br /> The gays will stay clear
 +
<br /> And every Liberal Liar is a God Denier
 +
 +
<br /> Here come the sysops
 +
<br /> All rebellion we'll quell
 +
<br /> Someone stands up to us
 +
<br /> Someone don't feel so well
 +
 +
<br /> Here come the sysops
 +
<br /> Little kid, step aside
 +
<br /> The FBI will get you,
 +
<br /> And there's no place to hide
 +
 +
<br /> We're drawing a line
 +
<br /> So keep your beliefs hidden
 +
<br /> We're hanging a sign
 +
<br /> That says "Liberals Forbidden"
 +
<br /> And we ain't kiddin
 +
 +
<br /> Here come the sysops
 +
<br /> Yeah! And we're gonna get
 +
<br /> Every last vandal
 +
<br /> On the whole buggin Net.
 +
<br /> On the whole!
 +
<br /> Ever!
 +
<br /> Mother!
 +
<br /> Lovin!
 +
<br /> Net!
 +
<br /> Godspeed!
 +
 +
 +
 +
'''To the tune of "Memory"''' - ''Cats''
 +
 +
 +
<br /> Midnight
 +
<br /> Andy lurks in his basement
 +
<br /> There he broods about Lenski:
 +
<br /> He is brooding alone
 +
 +
<br /> In the lamplight
 +
<br /> He reads evolution’s occurred in the lab
 +
<br /> And then he begins to moan
 +
 +
<br /> "Lenski!
 +
<br /> You’re so evil in my sight!
 +
<br /> How I long for the old days
 +
<br /> ‘Ere this 'science' began,
 +
<br /> I remember
 +
<br /> The time I knew what happiness was
 +
<br /> Let the memory live again
 +
 +
<br /> "Conservapedia’s elite,
 +
<br /> To them I’ll sound a warning!
 +
<br /> Asassination
 +
<br /> Of his reputation
 +
<br /> Yes! Now my plan is forming!
 +
 +
<br /> "Data!
 +
<br /> Give me all of your figures!
 +
<br /> Though I’ve not read your paper,
 +
<br /> Still I’ll never give in!
 +
<br /> If you don’t, then
 +
<br /> We’ll harass and intimidate you
 +
<br /> And we’ll do it ‘til we win
 +
 +
<br /> "We know more about the truth
 +
<br /> Then Darwinist believers:
 +
<br /> Give us your cultures,
 +
<br /> Or we’ll lurk like vultures
 +
<br /> And call you a deceiver!
 +
 +
<br /> "You’ll see! Or my name isn’t Schlafly!
 +
<br /> I’ll defeat Dr. Lenski,
 +
<br /> And I’ll crow when I’ve won!
 +
 +
<br /> I’ll claim victory
 +
<br /> Regardless of how foolish it is:
 +
<br /> Look, a new rant has begun!

Revision as of 11:42, 4 February 2009

Initial queries

Uh, I'm not sure about this one, honestly. By the way, do essays need to be true and verifiable, as the title claim is not yet? AddisonDM 14:34, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Addison, the essay and song do not mention a specific individual!--Andy Schlafly 17:03, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Come on....some humor please! An old saying, always true, is: "If the shoe fits, wear it." --₮K/Admin/Talk 17:11, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Your shameful attempts at dodging are as transparent as the water of a dead lake, Andy.
And your song doesn't scan right. At all. "Born in the USA." Six syllables. "Born nowhere near the USA." Eight. Do you see the problem? Most of it doesn't rhyme, either. Keep your day job... haha, oh wait, you just live off your mom's money... nevermind. TBaker 17:18, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Wow, TBaker, this entry really got under your skin!! Too bad your rebuttal is so pathetic. Go back to public school where they might nod their heads at your incoherence.--Andy Schlafly 17:25, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Er... how is the rebuttal pathetic? Your song sucks, simply. TBaker 17:28, 3 February 2009 (EST)
TBaker, you're complaining because the song gets under your skin. You wouldn't bother otherwise. The truth does sting for those who insist on denying it.--Andy Schlafly 17:33, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Wow, what an impressive encyclopedic entry. What high standards here at Conservapedia. Hey, is it ok for me to write an anti-Bush song or anti-Palin song?? I promise I won't mention a specific individual!!!

  • You guys are Conservative alright. No doubt about that. Hating all things blue and defending all things red. But don't you dare claim to be a Christian encyclopedia. AFlaily 17:20, 3 February 2009 (EST)
"AFlaily", you can't even post in your own real name. See my response to TBaker above.--Andy Schlafly 17:27, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Has anyone noticed that liberals always have absolutely no sense of humor, and lack the ability to laugh at themselves? All they seem to have is self-righteous indignation. --₮K/Admin/Talk 17:29, 3 February 2009 (EST)
We have a sense of humor. This simply isn't funny. It's juvenile. TBaker 17:30, 3 February 2009 (EST)
I also notice that liberals are always full of deceit as well, making and re-making socks, just to argue. And why do you Canadian liberal trolls care so much about United States matters, anyway? --₮K/Admin/Talk 17:43, 3 February 2009 (EST)
What's hilarious is how liberals delight so much in their own deceit. Go back to watching Comedy Central, TBaker, if you even get cable television where you are.--Andy Schlafly 17:52, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Scansion

Honestly, setting aside the content for a moment, if you want to write a parody song that's fine by me. But at least do it right. Do a scanning run-through of "Born in the USA," not syllables and the types of poetic feet, and conform your novel ideas to those. Then it'll at least be clever. Now it reads like someone who doesn't read, or doesn't understand, the point of poetry.-DavidSt 17:33, 3 February 2009 (EST)

You protest too much also, DavidSt. Stop resisting the truth and it won't sting so much.--Andy Schlafly 17:35, 3 February 2009 (EST)
I'm not disputing the truth. I'm disputing the form of its statement. Hold on, I'll write something about scansion....-DavidSt 17:36, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Okay. So scansion works like this. Tennyson's "Ulysses" scans in iambic pentameter, which means five syllabic pairs of WEAK/STRONG. Observe:where ' = strong, and _ = weak, "To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield" = "_ ' _ ' _ ' _ ' _ '" So you need to find how Born in the USA scans, and pattern on that.-DavidSt 17:40, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Suggestion: to make a patternably scanned rhyme scheme, change the title to "Ain't Born in the USA." So the title and the critical phrase would scan " _ ' _ _ ' ' ' "-DavidSt 17:43, 3 February 2009 (EST)

It's called humor...

Please everyone - you may disagree with the principle of the song (for me, "I can't even pronounce 'Pakistan' And I also mispronounce the 'Taliban'" is the most incoherent, among other things) but to get angry over it is just childish. You could apply the same song to John McCain over his age or Sarah Palin over her gaffes (just to use two examples), and I'm sure the response wouldn't be nearly as large as this song over Barack Obama. Flawed? Yes. Something to get blood boiling? No way. If you want to make your own song about a public figure, I'm sure that would be fine too. If you don't like it, do something more constructive. SaltLake 18:40, 3 February 2009 (EST)

Despite the fact that it's full of flaws, I find this essay funny. If we can't laugh at our political figures, what's the benefit of freedom of speech? I would like to point out though, the admins here are VERY quick to remove any humor targeted at a conservative figure, but hey, we can all have a good laugh every now and then. Humor has the benefit of subjective. --ShawnJ 19:39, 3 February 2009 (EST)

It may not be perfect from a musical or lyrical standpoint, but as parody, its brilliant. I'd suggest Mr. Schlafly submit something to 'Weird' Al Yankovic, but he's probably never do a song that parodies Obama or any leftie. (I should add that I really have no idea what 'Weird' Al's politics are. He's done a few issue-oriented songs, but about things like music-downloading.) ArthurA 20:02, 3 February 2009 (EST)

This is absolute genius!! --PMichael 20:05, 3 February 2009 (EST)
Mr. Schlafly, I knew Weird Al, I worked with Weird Al, Weird Al was my friend. Mr. Sclafly, you're no Weird Al. CraigC 23:22, 3 February 2009 (EST)


Conservapedia songs

You know, Andy is right. Some of the liberals on here are severely lacking in any sense of humour. Conservatives, on the other hand, are blessed with a healthy sense of humour. While a liberal would remove songs poking fun at them (or their leaders), and a liberal website like Wikipedia would block users for posting it, conservatives don't engage in such behaviour. To suggest otherwise is liberal deceit. To prove it, here are some novelty songs which poke fun at Conservapedia. I am confident that the Powers That Be on this site will see the value of these songs as works of satire, and will retain them on the site as proof that conservatives are not afraid of criticism or satire.


To the tune of "Castle on a Cloud" - Les Miserables


There is a wiki on a cloud
I like to go there all the time
Aren't any liberal facts you'll find
Not in my wiki on a cloud


I know a place where Earth is young
It's been around six thousand years
Evolution is not allowed
Not in my wiki on a cloud


There are my sysops, they're all white
They keep filthy liberals out of sight
They're all straight and they're not too bright
And they say: "Schlafly, you're always, always right."


I know that Reagan tore down a wall
Dawkins is no professor too
And Obama belongs to the House of Saud
So says my wiki on a cloud


To the tune of "I am the very model of a modern Major-General" - The Pirates of Penzance



I am the pasty shadow of a naval petty-officer.
My ship went down because of me, I mourn the very loss of her.
I’m retired now, I’ve been discharged, I blame the liberal media.
But I have high rank in my new ship: the SS Conservapedia


I’m well acquainted with the rules; I make them up as I go along.
Don’t dare accuse me of abuse, I’ll have you know I’m never wrong.
I don’t know shit about a thing, but know that I am always right.
Liberal edits are not allowed, by God you WILL respect this site!


Liberal edits are not allowed, by God you WILL respect this site!
Liberal edits are not allowed, by God you WILL respect this site!
Liberal edits are not allowed, by God you WILL respect this quality site!


Liberals in this land today have got completely out of hand.
A single atheistic edit will get you permanently banned.
Your edits may at times be good, but I’m sure that they’re bad oftener.
I am the pasty shadow of a naval petty-officer.


Your edits may at times be good, but we're sure that they’re bad oftener.
He is the pasty shadow of a naval petty-officer.


I’m always on duty, around the clock, with an hourly break to m4sturbate.
I will not rest until I’ve blocked every IP in each blue state.
Don’t say a word against a thing that I ever say or do,
I risked my life swabbing decks to defend obnoxious sh1ts like you.


If you disagree you’re banned for life for coming here to pick a fight.
If you’re left of Rush I swear to God you must be from “the other site”.
The sysops will make you our bitch, we run Conservapedia.
Don’t try to add a thing from that infernal Wikipedia.


Don’t try to add a thing from that infernal Wikipedia.
Don’t try to add a thing from that infernal Wikipedia.
Don’t try to add a thing from that infernal liberal Wikipedia.


To the tune of "When You're a Jet" - West Side Story



When you're a sysop
You're a sysop all the way,
From your first "90/10"
To your last "Ice-wedj Gang."


When you can block,
If the liberals fight,
You don't take no nonsense
'Cuz might equals right.


You're never offline.
You're never disconnected.
You're home all alone.
When vandals are expected
You can protect it.


Then you know Truth
With a capital T
Ignoring the evidence
You choose not to see.
If you're not a sysop
M Y O B


Oh when the sysops fall in to the party line
The Right can't be wrong so we'll do just fine
And when the liberals see us with our arguments
They're gonna run, gonna flee, gonna pee in their pants


When you're a sysop
You don't take no spunk.
Anyone who disagrees is
Just a Liberal Punk.


When you're a sysop
It's OK to cheat
As long as you don't use
Some Liberal Deceit


The sysops are in gear
We're editing on fire.
The gays will stay clear
And every Liberal Liar is a God Denier


Here come the sysops
All rebellion we'll quell
Someone stands up to us
Someone don't feel so well


Here come the sysops
Little kid, step aside
The FBI will get you,
And there's no place to hide


We're drawing a line
So keep your beliefs hidden
We're hanging a sign
That says "Liberals Forbidden"
And we ain't kiddin


Here come the sysops
Yeah! And we're gonna get
Every last vandal
On the whole buggin Net.
On the whole!
Ever!
Mother!
Lovin!
Net!
Godspeed!


To the tune of "Memory" - Cats



Midnight
Andy lurks in his basement
There he broods about Lenski:
He is brooding alone


In the lamplight
He reads evolution’s occurred in the lab
And then he begins to moan


"Lenski!
You’re so evil in my sight!
How I long for the old days
‘Ere this 'science' began,
I remember
The time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again


"Conservapedia’s elite,
To them I’ll sound a warning!
Asassination
Of his reputation
Yes! Now my plan is forming!


"Data!
Give me all of your figures!
Though I’ve not read your paper,
Still I’ll never give in!
If you don’t, then
We’ll harass and intimidate you
And we’ll do it ‘til we win


"We know more about the truth
Then Darwinist believers:
Give us your cultures,
Or we’ll lurk like vultures
And call you a deceiver!


"You’ll see! Or my name isn’t Schlafly!
I’ll defeat Dr. Lenski,
And I’ll crow when I’ve won!


I’ll claim victory
Regardless of how foolish it is:
Look, a new rant has begun!