Difference between revisions of "Talk:Platypus"

Revision as of 15:41, April 9, 2007

Saying the natural range of these animals is "Australia and Tasmania" is the sort of thing that would get every Tasmanian really riled up, I can tell you. At least, mostways, those of em that got enuff book-larning to be able to read. It's a bit like saying "United States and Alaska", only worse, becoz we didn't BUY Tasmania. God thru it in when he done give the place to the British. So I have changed it. MylesP myles325@yahoo.com.au 7 Apr 2007 AD

Finally, some really useful information on one of GOD's favorite creatures. Flippin 12:59, 6 April 2007 (EDT)

myles325 reporting.Despite my fulsome protests on the separation of Mother and Child by treating Tasmania as if it was NOT a component state of Australia (see above at the very top), Jeremiah 6:66 has orphaned the state again. Why, why, why? May I remind you that I LIVE HERE. Not in Tasmania, which is full of congenital defectives and inbred degenerates, but in Australia. And I can tell you, they are OUR congenital defectives and we will fight to the end before you take them away from us. So I have reunited Mother Country and freak state. If I find them parted again, I shall dob you in to the Tasmanian Tourist Burear, and you don’t want to mix it up with them I can tell you. They make the freaks from Deliverance look like a bunch of Sunday School teachers.

And I might also dob you in to the Young Earth Creation crowd. I am sure they had much more sympathy for the ABSOLUTELY TRUE epic story of the heroic platypus’s journey from Noah’s Ark to Australia, than they do for the atheistic, commie, evil-utionist pack of Satanic lies you replaced it with. There’s a place for that kind of stuff, mate, and it’s called Wikipedia. We all came over here to get away from God-defying blasphemy like what you just done put out. Though Wikipedia would just chuck it out the window as being too simplistic. And Uncyclopedia would give it the chop coz it ain’t funny. No, you might have to start your own ‘cylopedia. How about Leftoverpedia? Or Crapopedia? Or boohoonoonewantsmepedia?

Also, what you’ve left us with does very little to tell us WHY the platypus is so renowned amongst the lands. Sure, there are bits of the truth there. But you’ve GOT to say “the platypus is a mammal which lays eggs like a bird / reptile, yet suckles its young like a mammal. It has fur like a mammal, but also sports a lovely bill like a bird.” You see, THAT is why some boffins in England thought that some joker was trying to pull their legs. They thought that a practical joker had stitched PARTS of other animals together. Of course, things like that did happen, and it was uproarious fun when experts were taken in, specially evil-ution type experts.

(On an aside here, I rem a case where the students of a Natural Philosophy course at a University (for so Biology / Zoology was called) did that very thing. They stitched together various parts of a grasshopper, a large spider and a dragonfly and gravely presented the chimera to Professor Featheringshaw, claiming to have found it behind the quad next to the Oak Tree by Maudlin College, after cricket last Sunday and just afore the rowing blues. Well, young Hamish 111 had first clapped eyes on him and calling “Hi fellows, here’s sport!”, had caught the little blighter in his straw boater, didn’t he? “Whatever could it be, Professor?”, chorused the young scallywags. The Professor peered at the corpse of the strange “new discovery” in the palm of his hand for a space, then asked, “Did it hum when you caught it?”. “Why yes…yes!” they ejaculated, “Hum…did he ever! He hummed like no other insect we have ever heard on God’s Earth!”, chorused the shapely-bottomed scamps, “He hummed and hummed and hummed, Professor, he hummed like he was fit to bust!!”

“Just as I thought”, said Professor Featheringshaw, pensively stroking his chin, “It’s a HUMBUG!!!”. And with that he playfully produced his birch, and applied it smartly to the proffered behinds of his young charges, who could scarce escape the dusting as they were laughing too hard, and the tears on their cheeks were from helpless mirth rather than anguish. Ypres, the Somme, Galipolli, the tears were real there, and so many of the ones in that room tasted of them, and never returned…..

But I digress. Here’s a free hint. Ever thought of dropping that Jeremiah handle? You know what a Jeremiad, don’t you? You might as well have called yourself Partypooper. Or how about Wetblanket? Or Completedowner? All of these are synonyms for Jeremiah, excepting they do not quite convey the relentless savagery of his attacks, his utter inhumanity, nor frankly the sheer insanity of what is , I presume, your unlikely spiritual mentor. You don’t seem like such a disagreeable old cove, when all is said and done, so what on Earth would tie you to this, the Father of all curmudgeons? And on another matter. By asserting, without equivocation, that evolution is a FACT, and that the world is millions or billions of years old, your article directly contradicts many others in Wikipedia which stand by the record of Creation Week, and Noah’s Ark in Genesis. Having differences of opinion is one thing. But the promulgation of two irreconcilable world views, both of them asserted as fact, and both nestling cheek by jowl in this very compendium of knowledge, cannot provide a secure foundation of knowledge, not in Conservapedia, not in any pedia but Aliceinwonderlandopedia.

And where did I, then, learn of the details of the platypus’s journey across the world, fraught as it was with many a daring deed, many a desparate plight, many a selfless deed as marsupials came together to defend themselves against the forces of evil, and make a new life in the Great Southern Land? Where did I learn of all this? Why, I slumbered in a fitful fever, tossing with sweat on my brow, and I saw it in a dream wouchsafed me by the Merciful One. I glimpsed it in a fragment of parchment, a line of a song, a reflection in a pool. I heard it behind the humming of a bug and the carolling of magpies. I felt it in the buss of a summer zephyr. I smelt it behind a shop which sold falafels. I forgot it when I put on my clothes, and remembered it again when I was naked. And then a voice said unto me, “You will go out and tell the others what you have seen and heard”. And so I will, and so I do, in places and times. But my day is not yet come. --MylesP 11:41, 9 April 2007 (EDT)

" (no one says "monotreme" - let's use plain English)"

I say "monotreme" (and have a background in biology) - let's use words that have precisely defined meanings. --Jeremiah4-22 15:39, 8 April 2007 (EDT)