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| − | <div style="position:absolute;left:10px;top:45px;height:2000px;background-color:#e9f4f5">
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| − | '''Jesus Christ''' was a man commonly regarded as the '''son of God'''. Born in a [[brothel]] in [[Bethlehem, Pennsylvania]], son of [[Mary|a local prostitute]] and [[Milton Street]], brother of [[Philadelphia]] [[Mayor]] [[John Street]], [[Jesus]] learned from an early age that his private parts were much larger than average, at 9.2" (32.27 cm).
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| − | At age 18, Jesus moved to [[San Francisco, California]]. Unable to hide his [[homosexual]] tendencies any further, he went to a [[bath house]] and performed homosexual intercourse on 12 men who would henceforth be dubbed '''The Twelve [[Apostle]]s'''. He then spilled his seed on forty young men who would then be known as '''The Forty [[Disciple]]s'''.
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| − | Jesus later went to [[Washington D.C.]] where [[President]] [[George W. Bush]] went down on him. However, Jesus' large member choked the President to death, so Jesus cut off his skin and put it on like a suit. Jesus then begun performing his Presidential duties, while secretly beginning an affair with [[Alberto Gonzales]]. However, this irked Gonzales' partner [[Senator]] [[Rick Santorum]], who nailed Jesus to a wooden cross by his sizable member, killing him. Three days later Jesus rose from the dead, killed Santorum, and had intercourse with his lifeless skull.
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| − | ==See also==
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| − | [[Jeffrey Dahmer]]
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| − | </div>
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