Difference between revisions of "William Bradford"

From Conservapedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
(vandalism)
Line 1: Line 1:
−
William Bradford lived from March 1590 to May 9, 1657. He was the governor of the [[Plymouth Plantation|Plymouth colony]] for 30 years.
+
William Bradford lived from March 1590 to March 1997, he died of a severe case of Gingivitis. Sadly, no known source of said Gingivitis was found, he was 27 at the time of death.
  
−
Bradford fled England when he was 17 years old, and along with other persecuted Pilgrims went to Holland. When he was 30, he sailed to America with the other Pilgrims on the Mayflower, and he helped draft the [[Mayflower Compact]].  The Pilgrims elected him governor in 1621.  He was so popular that he was reelected 30 more times, until he died.
+
But you know, back in the great war of 1812 I served in the British army. We were defending an outpost against the Spainish, who were trying to take the WaterWorld we had set up at Fort Bluffenstein. We knew they wanted it because we had recieved an email about two fort nights ago, and it read: "We are the Spanish, we wish to have WaterWorld! We will be visiting in about two fort nights!"
  
−
He wrote the leading book about the Pilgrim settlement in his ''History of the Plymouth Plantation'' (1650).  There he said:<ref>http://www.amerisearch.net/index.php?date=2004-03-19&view=View</ref>
+
The day came, and we were ready. We had our rifles stuffed full with gun powder and our pockets full of left-overs, oh we were ready.
  
−
:Since ye first breaking out of ye lighte of ye gospell in our Honourable Nation of England ... what warrs and opposissions ... Satan hath raised ... against the Saints ... by bloody death and cruell torments ... imprisonments, banishments ...  What could now sustaine them but ye spirite of God and His grace? ... Ought not the children of these fathers rightly say: Our fathers ... came over this great ocean, and were ready to perish in this wilderness; but they cried unto ye Lord, and He heard their voyce. ... All great and honourable actions are accompanied with great difficulties ... Out of small beginnings greater things have been produced by His hand that made all things of nothing ... and, as one small candle may light a thousand, so the light here kindled hath shone unto many, yea in some sort to our whole nation; let the glorious name of Jehovah have all the praise.
+
As it turns out it was an April fools joke, but not really, seriously.
  
−
== References ==
+
When then commenced in having the time of our life on the Dragon's Tail slide, it was the best. You know, I had never been baptised, but I knew, I knew, we had won...
−
 
 
−
<references/>
 

Revision as of 12:12, March 21, 2007

William Bradford lived from March 1590 to March 1997, he died of a severe case of Gingivitis. Sadly, no known source of said Gingivitis was found, he was 27 at the time of death.

But you know, back in the great war of 1812 I served in the British army. We were defending an outpost against the Spainish, who were trying to take the WaterWorld we had set up at Fort Bluffenstein. We knew they wanted it because we had recieved an email about two fort nights ago, and it read: "We are the Spanish, we wish to have WaterWorld! We will be visiting in about two fort nights!"

The day came, and we were ready. We had our rifles stuffed full with gun powder and our pockets full of left-overs, oh we were ready.

As it turns out it was an April fools joke, but not really, seriously.

When then commenced in having the time of our life on the Dragon's Tail slide, it was the best. You know, I had never been baptised, but I knew, I knew, we had won...

Retrieved from "https://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=William_Bradford&oldid=54045"