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'''Sarah Palin''' (AKA: [[Barbie|''Caribou Barbie'']] and ''Sarah Failin'') is a criminally [[insane]] [[neocon]] blow-up doll. Intellectually unqualified to be a pre-school teacher, Sarah Porkloin ran for Vice President of the [[United States]] with [[Republican]] [[John McCain]]. Notoriously [[attention whore|photogenic]], she is also the former [[Alaska|Governor of the Kitchen]], a [[Quiverfull|mother of <s>five</s> four]], and a total [[GILF]]. Palin is also currently tied with [[Christine O'Donnell]] for the [[Shit nobody cares about|Guinness world record]] for [[Sarah Palin|Stupidest Person on Earth]]. In addition, she also holds the world record for loosest vagina, which she obtained after giving birth to a 15-pound tard baby whose head is roughly the size of [[Alaska]]. Despite her shortcomings, she often appears in the wet dreams of [[fat]], balding [[conservative]] [[males]] because of her large [[knockers]] and lack of speaking ability. She is also a self-described "Mama Grizzly," so take from that [[furry|what you will]].

'''Sarah Louise Heath Palin''' (pronounced pay'-lynn) (born February 11, 1964) is a [[conservative]] [[Republican Party|Republican]] who served as the 11th [[Governor]] of [[Alaska]] from 2006 through 2009. She is the youngest person to hold this office as well as the first woman to do so in the state's history. On July 3, 2009 Palin announced that she would resign as Governor of Alaska.<ref>http://www.newsmax.com/insidecover/palin_not_running/2009/07/03/231789.html</ref> Executive power was transferred to [[Lieutenant Governor]] [[Sean Parnell]].  

A former [[stripper]], Sarah Palin was discovered by McCain in a sleazy Anchorage gentleman's club while he was attending a champagne party in the VIP room. She's the hottest piece of ass ever involved in presidential politics, except for maybe [[Ron Paul]]. She's likely to become the [[Republican]] batshit [[Christfag]] candidate in 2012 or once the race riots after [[Obama]]'s assassination have died down. In short, she'll [[derp|herp your derp]], America.

Palin came to national attention as Senator [[John McCain]]'s Vice Presidential running mate in the [[2008 Presidential Election]].<ref>[http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/08/palins_vp_selection_speech.html Acceptance Speech by Palin]</ref> She was the first woman to appear on a Republican Presidential ticket. She brought a [[populism|populist]] image and a record of cutting wasteful spending and reforming government to McCain's ticket. In the summer of 2007, she was the most popular governor in America, having cut 13% of [[Alaska]]'s budget.<ref>http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/013/851orcjq.asp</ref> She is strongly [[pro-life]] and a prominent spokesperson for [[special needs]] children. In an appearance on August 30, 2008 in Washington, Pennsylvania, she was greeted by a surprisingly large crowd as she promoted the new McCain-Palin ticket. She favors more competition in health care and pushed for abolishing the [[certificate of need]] regulations that interfere with opening new medical clinics.<ref>http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/04/AR2008090403253.html?referrer=emailarticle</ref>

 

Palin and her husband [[Todd Palin|Todd]] have been married for 20 years. Todd was a member of the United Steelworkers Union, and their eldest son (of five children) is in the [[United States Army]], having served in [[Iraq]].

 

Her memoir ''[[Going Rogue]]'' was published in November 2009, with Palin drawing large crowds to book signing occasions around the country. She comments regularly on public affairs via her Facebook page, criticizing the "death panels" of the health care reform program and praising President Obama's pro-war speech upon his receiving the [[Nobel]] Peace prize in December 2009. She appears regularly on [[Fox News Channel]].<ref>http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/11/sarah-palin-to-contribute-to-fox-news/?scp=2&sq=Palin&st=cse</ref>

==Personal Background==

==Personal Background==