Changes

1. Its his bad attitude thats the most biggest problem. Irregardless, you can not judge a book by it’s cover.  

1. Its his bad attitude thats the most biggest problem. Irregardless, you can not judge a book by it’s cover.  

His bad attitude is his largest problem;  regardless, you cannot judge a book by its cover.

His bad attitude is his largest problem;  regardless, you cannot judge a book by its cover.

2. Me and Davey gone to the football game that day, and we didn’t see nothing there. Instead, the cop yelled at us, “Get lost before you are arrested by me!” Davey got real scared, and he didn’t arrest us.

2. Me and Davey gone to the football game that day, and we didn’t see nothing there. Instead, the cop yelled at us, “Get lost before you are arrested by me!” Davey got real scared, and he didn’t arrest us.

Davey and I went to the football game on that day, but we saw nothing there.  Instead, a cop yelled at us, "Get lost before I arrest you!"  Davey was very scared, but we were not arrested.

Davey and I went to the football game on that day, but we saw nothing there.  Instead, a cop yelled at us, "Get lost before I arrest you!"  Davey was very scared, but we were not arrested.

3. Newt Gingrich declared, "the media is terrified that the audience is going to side with the candidates against the media, which is what they've done in every debate." What mistake(s) did Newt, who has written many books, make in his statement? Explain.  

3. Newt Gingrich declared, "the media is terrified that the audience is going to side with the candidates against the media, which is what they've done in every debate." What mistake(s) did Newt, who has written many books, make in his statement? Explain.  

When Gingrich says "they" he is technically referring to the media and thus "they" is ambiguous.  Also his use of "is going to" could be better replaced by "may".  

When Gingrich says "they" he is technically referring to the media and thus "they" is ambiguous.  Also his use of "is going to" could be better replaced by "may".  

4. A good student is someone that can both write very well and quickly.

4. A good student is someone that can both write very well and quickly.

A good student can write very well and very quickly.

A good student can write very well and very quickly.

5. Runing inside to avoid the rainstorm, my new sweatur was mostly dry.  

5. Runing inside to avoid the rainstorm, my new sweatur was mostly dry.  

After I ran inside to avoid the rainstorm, I found that my new sweater was mostly dry.

After I ran inside to avoid the rainstorm, I found that my new sweater was mostly dry.

6. These three things needed to be completed Wedesday morning, and it was: calling my friend, finishing this homework, and jog one mile.

6. These three things needed to be completed Wedesday morning, and it was: calling my friend, finishing this homework, and jog one mile.

On Wednesday morning I need to call my friend, finish my homework, and jog one mile.

On Wednesday morning I need to call my friend, finish my homework, and jog one mile.

6. Describe how and why the writing (lyrics or screenplay) is so good in one of your favorite songs or movies.

6. Describe how and why the writing (lyrics or screenplay) is so good in one of your favorite songs or movies.

Every artist who makes music has different strengths and weaknesses.  These can range from melody to harmony to rhythm to vocals, but one weakness I have noticed in the majority of music is in lyrics.  Perhaps it is because modern artists find it monetarily serendipitous to sell themselves and sing about the same over-stressed themes again and again, but I have found that a good songwriter is hard to find.  Thus it is refreshing to hear the folk group "Nickel Creek" perform a genuinely thought-provoking and introspective song,  namely their composition "When in Rome."

Every artist who makes music has different strengths and weaknesses.  These can range from melody to harmony to rhythm to vocals, but one weakness I have noticed in the majority of music is in lyrics.  Perhaps it is because modern artists find it monetarily serendipitous to sell themselves and sing about the same over-stressed themes again and again, but I have found that a good songwriter is hard to find.  Thus it is refreshing to hear the folk group "Nickel Creek" perform a genuinely thought-provoking and introspective song,  namely their composition "When in Rome."

This verse steps out of the third person into the first person.  The singer now is making a personal appeal to, "bring in some new blood," and asks if we're stuck in Rome.  In the bridge the songwriter shifts from Rome being a dingy far-off world, to here and now. He urges us personally to resist modern conformism.

This verse steps out of the third person into the first person.  The singer now is making a personal appeal to, "bring in some new blood," and asks if we're stuck in Rome.  In the bridge the songwriter shifts from Rome being a dingy far-off world, to here and now. He urges us personally to resist modern conformism.

The last verse is a shade quieter and more thoughtful. It asks:

The last verse is a shade quieter ["shade quieter"?  That is an issue of vocals rather than lyrics.  Perhaps "subdued"] and more thoughtful. It asks:

Where can a dead man go?

Where can a dead man go?

If they spend a lifetime learning how to live in Rome.  

If they spend a lifetime learning how to live in Rome.  

This verse concludes with a discussion of the emptiness that a dead man would feel after trying all his life to be like everyone else. As the song says, we never are sure of how a dead man feels, but we do know that only those who have stepped out of the conformist mould will have had a lasting legacy.

This verse concludes with a discussion of the emptiness that a dead man would feel after trying all his life to be like everyone else. As the song says, we never are sure of how a dead man feels, but we do know that only those who have stepped out of the conformist mould [misspelling: "mold"] will have had a lasting legacy.

 

The message of the song is effective and gripping; it is presented well and it stands as a provocative caveat [word choice seems awkward here].

The message of the song is effective and gripping; it is presented well and it stands as a provocative caveat.

:Terrific essay - 10 in substance.  In technical style, the misspelling and some questionable word choice yields a 9.5. Well done!--[[User:Aschlafly|Andy Schlafly]] 20:46, 7 February 2012 (EST)