Difference between revisions of "Integrity Dating"
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==Principle #4: Refusing to Make Unspoken, Unwanted, Unmeant, Lying Vows== | ==Principle #4: Refusing to Make Unspoken, Unwanted, Unmeant, Lying Vows== | ||
| + | Holzmann summarizes his fourth principle this way, "Integrity Daters know that physical actions communicate; therefore, they do all in their power to make their physical actions agree with what they say by word of mouth. Integrity Daters also know that if they do not clearly define what they mean when they make a commitment, they are likely to find themselves obligated for things they don't intend. Therefore, they refuse to make commitments without explicitly stating what they have in mind and without agreeing to an exit plan."<ref name="Holzmann"/> | ||
==Principle #5: Differentiating Between Romantic Interest, Commitments, and Obligations== | ==Principle #5: Differentiating Between Romantic Interest, Commitments, and Obligations== | ||
Latest revision as of 01:26, October 26, 2019
Integrity Dating is a philosophy of relationships explained and advocated by Christian author and Sonlight Curriculum co-founder John Holzmann in his book Dating with Integrity.[1]
Purpose
Holzmann's stated purpose is "1. To present Biblical arguments for why I believe you should treat members of the opposite sex as brothers and sisters rather than boyfriends, girlfriends, or 'serious' dating partners. 2. To develop a workable model of Integrity Dating relationships. 3. To give solid advice about making Integrity Dating relationships work."[1]
Principle #1: Blessing One Another to the Glory of God
Holzmann bases this first principle from I Peter 4:10-11, stating that, "Integrity Daters remember their purpose: to bless the people around them 'so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.'"[1]
Principle #2: Treating All Members of the Body with Equal Concern
From I Corinthians 12:25, Holzmann realized that Scripture commands equal concern for all believers, regardless of gender. He became concerned about his own lack of concern for men he knew, so he formulated several rules for himself based in Scriptural principles.
- Rule #1: "I will treat people in whom I have no romantic interest no worse than I treat people in whom I have a romantic interest."
- Rule #2: "I will treat members of the opposite sex no better than I treat members of my own."
- Rule #3: "I will do nothing with members of the opposite sex now, while we are unmarried, that we cannot continue to do in good conscience later, after one or the other of us has married someone else."
- Rule #4: "I will do nothing with members of the opposite sex now, while we are unmarried, that I cannot continue to do for the rest of my life with the person I eventually do marry."[1]
Principle #3: Speaking the Truth in Love
In Chapter 3 of his book, Holzmann introduces three rules of conduct:
- "Integrity Daters Use No Guile"
- "Integrity Daters Walk Consistently"
- "Integrity Daters Speak the Truth in Love--Even When it Hurts"[1]
Principle #4: Refusing to Make Unspoken, Unwanted, Unmeant, Lying Vows
Holzmann summarizes his fourth principle this way, "Integrity Daters know that physical actions communicate; therefore, they do all in their power to make their physical actions agree with what they say by word of mouth. Integrity Daters also know that if they do not clearly define what they mean when they make a commitment, they are likely to find themselves obligated for things they don't intend. Therefore, they refuse to make commitments without explicitly stating what they have in mind and without agreeing to an exit plan."[1]