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{{Japanese characters}}

{{Japanese characters}}

Interactions between [[Japan|Japanese]] people, as well as between Japanese and foreigners, are geared not only around each other's relative status in respect to each other, but also by an almost-inherent respect for, and politeness towards, other people. These govern almost every aspect of Japanese life, from how you greet somebody, which title you use when addressing them and even where you would expect to be seated at a dinner table.

Interactions between [[Japan]]ese people, as well as between Japanese and foreigners, are geared not only around each other's relative status in respect to each other, but also by an almost-inherent respect for, and politeness towards, other people. These govern almost every aspect of Japanese life, from how you greet somebody, which title you use when addressing them and even where you would expect to be seated at a dinner table.

This has resulted in a uniquely Japanese standard of behaviour, or '''Japanese etiquette''' (<font size=3>礼儀作法</font> ''reigishahou''), that whilst is second nature to the locals, can prove to be a minefield of potential faux pas for the unwary. This will attempt to set out and explain some of these etiquette "rules", to assist any potential future visitors to the country.

This has resulted in a uniquely Japanese standard of behaviour, or '''Japanese etiquette''' (<font size=3>礼儀作法</font> ''reigishahou''), that whilst is second nature to the locals, can prove to be a minefield of potential faux pas for the unwary. This will attempt to set out and explain some of these etiquette "rules", to assist any potential future visitors to the country.

If you are lucky enough to be invited home, there are two important things to remember:

If you are lucky enough to be invited home, there are two important things to remember:

* When entering someone else's home, even if they are a friend and you have been there many times before, there is a standard phrase one says when stepping over the threshold. This is "ojama shimasu" (<font size=3>お邪魔します</font> pronounced "o-ja-ma-she-maas", with the "ja" as in "jam"), which translates as, "excuse me for disturbing," or "sorry to bother you." It is almost a way of thanking them in advance for their hospitality and for the trouble you are causing them by being a guest in their home.

* When entering someone else's home, even if they are a friend and you have been there many times before, there is a standard phrase one says when stepping over the threshold. This is "ojama shimasu" (<font size=3>お邪魔します</font> pronounced "o-ja-ma-she-maas", with the "ja" as in "jam"), which translates as, "excuse me for disturbing," or "sorry to bother you." It is almost a way of thanking them in advance for their hospitality and for the trouble you are causing them by being a guest in their home.

* Shoes are never worn indoors, so always make sure you are wearing a good pair of socks. If it is a Western-style home, with carpeted or tiled floors, the host will provide you with a pair of slippers to wear. If it is a more traditional home, with ''tatami'' mats (<font size=3>畳</font> mats made of woven straw, measuring 180cm by 90cm) then you walk barefoot, or in your socks, to save the mats from wear and tear. Even most Western-style homes will have at least one ''tatami'' room, at which point you remove your slippers before entering. To further complicate matters, there are also "bathroom slippers", which are only worn in the bathroom. Your slippers will be left outside the door and do not forget to change back before returning.

* Shoes are never worn indoors, so always make sure you are wearing a good pair of socks. If it is a Western-style home, with carpeted or tiled floors, the host will provide you with a pair of slippers to wear. If it is a more traditional home, with ''tatami'' mats (<font size=3>畳</font> mats made of woven straw, measuring 180&nbsp;cm by 90&nbsp;cm) then you walk barefoot, or in your socks, to save the mats from wear and tear. Even most Western-style homes will have at least one ''tatami'' room, at which point you remove your slippers before entering. To further complicate matters, there are also "bathroom slippers", which are only worn in the bathroom. Your slippers will be left outside the door and do not forget to change back before returning.

Every Japanese home, even if it is a one-roomed apartment, has a small entry hall (<font size=3>玄関</font> ''genkan''), separated from the rest of the house by a step, where one leaves their shoes, before entering the home.  

Every Japanese home, even if it is a one-roomed apartment, has a small entry hall (<font size=3>玄関</font> ''genkan''), separated from the rest of the house by a step, where one leaves their shoes, before entering the home.  

===Saying "Grace"===

===Saying "Grace"===

Every Japanese meal, from a schoolchild about to eat their ''bento'' (<font size=3>弁当</font> "boxed lunch") to a restaurant, starts with each person saying out loud "itadakimasu" (<font size=3>戴きます</font> pronounced "i-ta-daki-maas"), which means, "I receive this gratefully." Likewise, after the meal, everybody says, "gochisōsama deshi<i></i>ta" (<font size=3>ご馳走様でした</font> pronounced "go-chi-sew-sama-desh-ta"), which literally means "You were a person that gave me a feast" Failure to say either, implies you did not enjoy the food and is a terrible insult for the host.  

Every Japanese meal, from a schoolchild about to eat their ''bento'' (<font size=3>弁当</font> "boxed lunch") to a restaurant, starts with each person saying out loud "itadakimasu" (<font size=3>戴きます</font> pronounced "i-ta-daki-maas"), which means, "I receive this gratefully." Likewise, after the meal, everybody says, "gochisōsama deshi''''ta" (<font size=3>ご馳走様でした</font> pronounced "go-chi-sew-sama-desh-ta"), which literally means "You were a person that gave me a feast" Failure to say either, implies you did not enjoy the food and is a terrible insult for the host.  

===Chopsticks===

===Chopsticks===

Once you are seated, you will be served a complimentary glass of water or tea, which is later refilled. You will also receive an ''oshibori'' (<font size=3>御絞り</font> a moistened hand towel) for cleaning your hands. If your place setting does not include chopsticks, you will usually find some in a box on the table. Most often, they are bamboo disposable chopsticks that need to be separated before you use them.

Once you are seated, you will be served a complimentary glass of water or tea, which is later refilled. You will also receive an ''oshibori'' (<font size=3>御絞り</font> a moistened hand towel) for cleaning your hands. If your place setting does not include chopsticks, you will usually find some in a box on the table. Most often, they are bamboo disposable chopsticks that need to be separated before you use them.

With regards to paying, you will be presented with the bill at the end, or occasionally at the beginning of your meal, although the latter will exclude any drinks you may order. Bills are usually paid at the cashier, rather than paying the waiter. Tipping is rare in Japan and staff do not expect it. In fact, you may find staff running after you, to return the money "you left behind". However, always remember to thank the staff with a "gochisōsama deshi<i></i>ta" when leaving. In addition, if somebody else paid for the meal, you should thank them with a "gochisōsama deshi<i></i>ta" too.

With regards to paying, you will be presented with the bill at the end, or occasionally at the beginning of your meal, although the latter will exclude any drinks you may order. Bills are usually paid at the cashier, rather than paying the waiter. Tipping is rare in Japan and staff do not expect it. In fact, you may find staff running after you, to return the money "you left behind". However, always remember to thank the staff with a "gochisōsama deshi''''ta" when leaving. In addition, if somebody else paid for the meal, you should thank them with a "gochisōsama deshi''''ta" too.

If you do go out for dinner, keep in mind that splitting the bill is not a normal practice in Japan. It is normal for the inviting party to pay. However, if your host is paying for dinner, at least make an attempt to pay. This will be politely refused, but even your token offer will be received favourably. On the other hand, if you are paying, never accept someone else's offer to pay - they were merely being polite.

If you do go out for dinner, keep in mind that splitting the bill is not a normal practice in Japan. It is normal for the inviting party to pay. However, if your host is paying for dinner, at least make an attempt to pay. This will be politely refused, but even your token offer will be received favourably. On the other hand, if you are paying, never accept someone else's offer to pay - they were merely being polite.

* Christmas and Birthdays. Giving gifts on these days was never a Japanese tradition, but due to Western influences many people, especially the younger generation, now exchange gifts on these days too.

* Christmas and Birthdays. Giving gifts on these days was never a Japanese tradition, but due to Western influences many people, especially the younger generation, now exchange gifts on these days too.

* Oseibo and Ochūgen. Presents are exchanged between family, friends and co-workers in December, at the end of year ceremony (''Oseibo'' <font size=3>御歳暮</font>). Older people generally receive gifts of food, ''sake'', or household items, whilst younger children receive a gift of money (<font size=3>お年玉</font> ''otoshidama''). The same happens in June, during the Obon Festival (<font size=3>お盆</font> Festival of Lanterns), when gifts are again exchanged, this time referred to as ''Ochūgen'' (<font size=3>御中元</font>).

* Oseibo and Ochūgen. Presents are exchanged between family, friends and co-workers in December, at the end of year ceremony (''Oseibo'' <font size=3>御歳暮</font>). Older people generally receive gifts of food, ''sake'', or household items, whilst younger children receive a gift of money (<font size=3>お年玉</font> ''otoshidama''). The same happens in June, during the Obon Festival (<font size=3>お盆</font> Festival of Lanterns), when gifts are again exchanged, this time referred to as ''Ochūgen'' (<font size=3>御中元</font>).

* Valentine's day (<font size=3>バレンタインデー</font> ''barentaindei''). In Japan, the 14^th February is the day when girls of all ages present the men in their lives with chocolates. This is not restricted to romantic interests, but brothers, fathers, husbands, etc will also receive gifts. If the chocolates you receive are home-made, then it is a good sign that she is romantically interested in you. However, it is only the girls that give out chocolates on Valentine's day - boys have to wait until White Day (<font size=3>ホワイトデー</font> ''howaitodei'') on the 14^th March to return the favour.

* Valentine's day (<font size=3>バレンタインデー</font> ''barentaindei''). In Japan, the 14th February is the day when girls of all ages present the men in their lives with chocolates. This is not restricted to romantic interests, but brothers, fathers, husbands, etc will also receive gifts. If the chocolates you receive are home-made, then it is a good sign that she is romantically interested in you. However, it is only the girls that give out chocolates on Valentine's day - boys have to wait until White Day (<font size=3>ホワイトデー</font> ''howaitodei'') on the 14th March to return the favour.

* When returning from a holiday, you are expected to bring back souvenirs (''omiyage'' <font size=3>お土産</font>) for family, friends and co-workers. This often comes in the form of beautifully packaged foods specific to the region you have visited.

* When returning from a holiday, you are expected to bring back souvenirs (''omiyage'' <font size=3>お土産</font>) for family, friends and co-workers. This often comes in the form of beautifully packaged foods specific to the region you have visited.

==Additional Reading==

==Additional Reading==

*De Mente, Boye Lafayette; Etiquette Guide to Japan: Know the Rules...that Make the Difference; Tuttle Publishing; 2001; ISBN-13: 978-0804834179

*De Mente, Boye Lafayette; Etiquette Guide to Japan: Know the Rules...that Make the Difference; Tuttle Publishing; 2001; ISBN 978-0804834179

==Also see==

==See also==

* [[Japanese honorifics]]

* [[Japanese honorifics]]

* [[Seiza]]

* [[Seiza]]

[[category:Japan]]

[[Category:Japan]]