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A '''seal''' is a marine animal that lives on land and in water.
A '''seal''' is a marine animal that lives on land and in water. When in water, seals are known to be avid swimmers. When on land, however, seals have been known to use their male organs to violate married women in their own marital bed. Reasons for this phenomena are unknown. What is known is that once a married woman has had seal dick, she will never find her husband attractive again. Seals are also known to be active Democrats.
With seals ruining countless marriages, the Anti Effing Seal Defense Initiative, or AeFSDI for short, began operation in 1991 in an effort to protect all good Christian society from seals. They have funded seal clubbing excursions across the world. Take that you damn hippies. Since 2001, the AeFSDI has fought terrorists as well seeing as that the terrorists and seals united to form Ultra Islam Seal'o'Zord. This is truly horrible, seeing as that such a zord of ultimate power can only mean one thing... the Antichrist is among us and he is a seal.
Creationist scientists, through rigorous research, discovered that seals were direct descendants of the cunning serpent, yeah, you know the one (he likes to be called Mr. Mephistopheles). It should also be noted that the blood lust of the ghost of Ronald Reagan can only be satiated with the meat of baby seals. Also, Canada sucks.