Difference between revisions of "Satan"

Revision as of 21:40, September 19, 2009

Please add me to the "examples of moronic vandalism by the tolerant" article, as I think I am quite moronic. If you need proof, refer to the following insertion:

Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)" Beelzeboss [Beelz] I am complete! = [ This world will be mine and you're first in line you brought me the pick and now you shall both die! [JB] Wait! Wait! Wait! you we challenge you to a rock off! give us one chance to rock your socks off [Beelz] the demon code prevents me from declining a rock off challenge what are your terms? what is the catch? [JB] If we win, you must take your sorry ass back to hell. and also you will have to pay our rent [Beelz] And what if *i* win? [JB] then you can take Kage back to hell... [KG] What? [JB] trust me Kage, its the only way, [KG] What the hell are you talking about? [JB] to be your little SLAVE [Beelz] Fine! Let the rock off begin!ha ha I'm the devil i love metal! Check this riff it's pretty tasty I'm the devil i can do what i want, whatever i got I'm gonna flaunt, there's never been a rock off that I've ever lost i cant wait to take Kage back to hell I'm gonna fill him with my hot demon gel I'll make him squeal like my scarlet pimpernel [JB] No! c'mon Kage bring the thunder [KG] there's just no way that we can win, that was a masterpiece. [JB] listen to me [KG] he rocks too hard because he's not a mortal man he gonna make you his sex slave, you're gonna gargle mayonnaise [KG] no unless we bust a massive monster mama-jam. [KG] dude, we've been through so much [BOTH] now its time to blow this guy down! [JB] C'mon Kage now it's time to blow doors down [KG] I hear you Jables now it's time to blow doors down [JB] Light up the stage cause its time for a showdown [KG] We'll bend you over then we'll take you to Brown Town [BOTH] Now we've got to blow this guy down [KG] He's gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down [JB] C'mon Kage cause it's time to blow doors down [KG] Oh we'll piledrive ya, it's time for the smackdown [JB] Hey anti-christ-er, Beelzeboss, we know your weakness our rocket-sauce we rock the casbah, and blow your mind we will defeat you, for all mankind you hold the scepter, we hold the key you are the devil, we are the D [18x] [Beelz] You guys are really lame. Come on Kage, You're coming with me. Taste my lightning losers! [Tenacious D:] [JB] NO! [Beelz] oh no! [JB] From whence you came you shall remain, until you are complete again [Beelz] No! screw you Kage and screw you Jables! I'll get you Tenacious D!

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-[[Image:GustaveDoreParadiseLostSatanProfile.jpg|right|thumb|Gustave Doré's depiction of Satan from John Milton's Paradise Lost.]]
+Please add me to the "examples of moronic vandalism by the tolerant" article, as I think I am quite moronic.  If you need proof, refer to the following insertion:
-'''Satan''' (from the Hebrew "ha-satan", meaning the "accuser", "tempter", "persecutor", "calumniator" or "adversary") was a member of the [[divine council]] of God referenced in the [[Old Testament]] in [[Job]].  He is referenced 11 times in Job and 4 other times in the Old Testament.  The [[New Testament]] mentions Satan 34 times in all starting with the first book [[Matthew]] and ending with the last [[Revelation]].  In the Christian tradition he rebelled against [[God]] and is now the enemy of God and man alike.  He is the father of lies and no good is found in him.  He leads a host of fallen angels (or [[demon]]s) who know their days are numbered before they will be cast in the [[lake of fire]] and they seek to take as many humans as possible with them.  Those who worship Satan are called [[satanism | Satanists]].
-The three classic defenses against Satan are:
-* mockery, which Satan cannot withstand due to his pride
-* sunlight or exposure, from which Satan hides
-* the [[Holy Spirit]], meaning "The Advocate" (i.e., defense lawyer), or the [[Armor of God]]<ref>Ephesians 6:1-17</ref>.
-Note that Satan lacks self-restraint, which often leads him to failure.  In addition, Satan delights in [[deceit]], even to the point of causing his downfall.
+Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)"
+Beelzeboss
-== History and Goals ==
+[Beelz] I am complete!
+= [
-In [[Christianity]] Satan's goal is to lead people away from the love of God, by tempting or tricking them. The only sources of supernatural power in the world are from either God (good) or Satan (evil).  In the book of [[Genesis]], Satan takes the form of a snake and tempts Eve with fruit from a tree.  This causes sin to come into the world.  Satan, in the Book of Job, listens to God speak highly of Job and accuses Job to God before the host of angels that Job praises God only because he is blessed and would curse God if he was forced to suffer.  God allows Satan to do what he will except to spare his life, and Satan causes Job to suffer immensely.  (Job remained true to God through his hardships; Satan accused him further and punished him further, but could not get Job to break).
+This world will be mine and you're first in line you brought me the pick and now you shall both die!
+[JB] Wait! Wait! Wait! you we challenge you to a rock off! give us one chance to rock your socks off
-[[Jesus]] makes references to demonic possession on multiple occasions that He then casts out.  Some believe that Satan is able to possess and control living humans on Earth even today.  The Catholic church believes that priests (and sometimes only bishops) are able to [[exorcise]] this possession through Jesus.
+[Beelz] the demon code prevents me from declining a rock off challenge what are your terms? what is the catch?
+[JB] If we win, you must take your sorry ass back to hell. and also you will have to pay our rent
-In the [[New Testament]], Satan tries to tempt [[Jesus]] in the desert, and fails.  Jesus warns extensively to beware of Satan as does [[Paul]].
+[Beelz] And what if *i* win? [JB] then you can take Kage back to hell... [KG] What? [JB] trust me Kage, its the only way, [KG] What the hell are you talking about? [JB] to be your little SLAVE [Beelz] Fine! Let the rock off begin!ha ha I'm the devil i love metal! Check this riff it's pretty tasty I'm the devil i can do what i want, whatever i got I'm gonna flaunt, there's never been a rock off that I've ever lost i cant wait to take Kage back to hell I'm gonna fill him with my hot demon gel I'll make him squeal like my scarlet pimpernel
+[JB] No! c'mon Kage bring the thunder [KG] there's just no way that we can win, that was a masterpiece. [JB] listen to me [KG] he rocks too hard because he's not a mortal man he gonna make you his sex slave, you're gonna gargle mayonnaise [KG] no unless we bust a massive monster mama-jam. [KG] dude, we've been through so much [BOTH] now its time to blow this guy down! [JB] C'mon Kage now it's time to blow doors down [KG] I hear you Jables now it's time to blow doors down [JB] Light up the stage cause its time for a showdown [KG] We'll bend you over then we'll take you to Brown Town [BOTH] Now we've got to blow this guy down [KG] He's gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down [JB] C'mon Kage cause it's time to blow doors down [KG] Oh we'll piledrive ya, it's time for the smackdown [JB] Hey anti-christ-er, Beelzeboss, we know your weakness our rocket-sauce we rock the casbah, and blow your mind we will defeat you, for all mankind you hold the scepter, we hold the key you are the devil, we are the D [18x]
-Satan, is also called by several different names (the Devil, deceiver, Bealzebub, Beelzebul, Lucifer, Dis, [[Asmodeus]], Abaddon, "Old Scratch," the Crooked One, etc).
+[Beelz] You guys are really lame. Come on Kage, You're coming with me. Taste my lightning losers!
+[Tenacious D:] [JB] NO!
-The notion of Satan, or an evil force, is noted in many if not all of the major world religions.
+[Beelz] oh no!
+[JB] From whence you came you shall remain, until you are complete again
-== Lucifer ==
+[Beelz] No! screw you Kage and screw you Jables! I'll get you Tenacious D!
-'''Lucifer''' is a name literally meaning "Son of the Morning" (or "Light-Bearer"), and is mentioned in the [[Bible]] only in the [[book of Isaiah]] (Isaiah 14:12). Though in Christian tradition Lucifer is equated with Satan, the immediate context of the passage is Isaiah's prophecy against the king of Babylon, and the name "Lucifer" was not present at all in the original manuscripts (in the Latin Vulgate, the phrase "Son of the Morning" was transliterated as a proper name).
-Whomever Lucifer may be, the Isaiah makes strong prophecy against him, condemning him for 5 pronouncements:
-* I will ascend into [[heaven]]
-* I will exalt my throne above the stars of God
-* I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north
-* I will ascend above the heights of the clouds
-* I will be like the most High
-Those who take this passage to be a reference to Satan believe that it gives more history of what caused his downfall, that he was created by God as one of His most powerful angels (possibly a Seraphim), but that he fell from grace after he in his pride rebelled against his Creator. Some, however, believe that there is no grounding to interpret the passage as a history of Satan, citing that the passage uses highly figurative and poetic language that was meant as a prophecy against Babylon and nothing more.
-[[Image:Paradise Lost 12.jpg|right|thumb|''The fall of Lucifer'' by Gustave Doré.]]
-== Jewish Views ==
-In the Jewish tradition, Satan is an angel who faithfully serves God as a prosecuting attorney - one who accuses men of wickedness and impiety.  At the direction of God, Satan may be permitted to test these accusations, such as in Job.  In this view, Satan's goal is not to lead men away from their faithfulness to God, but merely to reveal the true depths of their devotion, although in [[I Chronicles]] 21:1 Satan provoked [[David]] to take a [[census]] of the people of Israel against the will of God and 70,000 men are slain because of it.
-== Notes ==
-<references/>
-[[category:Abrahamic Religions]]
-{{DivineComedy}}

Difference between revisions of "Satan"

Revision as of 21:40, September 19, 2009

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