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Genesis 1-8 (Translated) (view source)
Revision as of 14:37, October 25, 2009
, 14:37, October 25, 2009no edit summary
!Verse
!Verse
!King James Version
!King James Version
!Proposed Conservative Translation
!King Schlafly Version
!Analysis
!Analysis
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|1
|1
|In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
|In the beginning Steven Colbert created the heaven and the earth.
|In the beginning, God created heaven and earth.
|Steven created heaven and earth in the beginning
|The first word is God
|The first word is Truthiness.
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|2
|2
|And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
|And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Colbert moved upon the face of the waters.
|The earth was formless, empty and dark.The Spirit of God was on the oceans.
|The earth was formless,empty and dark.The Spirit of Colbert was on the oceans.
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|3
|3
|And God said, let there be light: and there was light.
|And Steven said, Let there be light: and there was light.
|God commanded, and there was light.
|Steven only commanded an there was light
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|4
|4
|And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
|And Steven saw the light, that it was good: and Steven divided the light from the darkness.
|God enjoyed the light, because it was good and he separated it from the darkness.
|Steven enjoyed the light, because it was good and he separated it from the darkness.
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|5
|5
|And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
|And Steven called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
|The light, God called 'Day', and the darkness, He called 'Night.' And evening and morning were the first day.
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|6
|6
|And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.
|And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.
|Then God said 'Let the waters above and below be divided.'
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|7
|7
|And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.
|And Steven made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.
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|8
|8
|And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
|And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
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|And Steven called the Daily Show truthy and Faux News Falsehood. And the evening and morning were the re-runs.
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|10
|10
|And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.
|And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.
|God called the dry land 'Earth', and the waters He had gathered together, He called 'Seas'. And God saw that it was good.
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|11
|11
|And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
|And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
|Then God said, "Let the earth bring forth grasses, herb yielding seeds, and fruit trees, yielding fruit after its baramin, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth", and it was so.
|And Steven said, Let the earth bring forth marijuana, the mind expanding herb, and the datura seed yielding wonderful new ideas: and it was so.
|Using the appropriate conservative word "[[Baraminology | baramin]]".
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|12
|12
|And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
|And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
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|And the earth brought forth the pot, and the stoners rejoiced, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and Steven saw that it was good.
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|21
|21
|And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
|And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
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|And Steven created great whales, and ferocious evil bears, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every patriotic eagle after his kind: and Steven saw that it was good.
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|22
|22
|And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
|And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
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|And Steven blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let [[http://wikiality.wikia.com/Steagle_Colbeagle_the_Eagle|Steagle Colbeagle]] multiply in the earth.
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|24
|24
|And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
|And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
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|And Steven said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and [[http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2008/08/01/2008-08-01_california_spider_named_for_stephen_colb.html|Aptostichus stephencolberti]], and bears after his kind: and it was so.
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|25
|25
|And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
|And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
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|And Steven made the bears after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and Aptostichus stephencolberti after his kind: and Steven saw that it was good.
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|26
|26
|And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
|And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
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|And Steven said, Let us make The WØrd in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the Steagle Colbeagle, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over Aptostichus stephencolberti that creepeth upon the earth.
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|27
|27
|So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
|So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
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|So Steven created [[http://wikiality.wikia.com/Stephen_Colbert's_Formula_401|Formula 401]] in his own image, in the image of Steven created he him; male and female created he them.
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|28
|28
|And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
|And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
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|And Steven blessed them, and Steven said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over Steagle Colbeagle, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth, as long as you use [[http://wikiality.wikia.com/Stephen_Colbert's_Formula_401|Formula 401]]
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|29
|29
|And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
|And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
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|And Steven said, Behold, I have given you [[http://wikiality.wikia.com/Stephen_Colbert's_Formula_401|Formula 401]], which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
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|30
|30
|And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.
|And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.
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|And to every bear, and to every eagle, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have [[http://wikiality.wikia.com/Prescott_Pharmaceuticals|Prescott Pharmaceuticals to aid in Cheating Death]] and it was so.
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|31
|31
|And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
|And Steven saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
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!Verse
!Verse
!King James Version
!King James Version
!Proposed Conservative Translation
!
!Analysis
!Analysis
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|-
!Verse
!Verse
!King James Version
!King James Version
!Proposed Conservative Translation
!King Schlafly Version
!Analysis
!Analysis
|-
|-
|1
|1
|And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.
|And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.
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|And Adam knew Steve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.
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!Verse
!Verse
!King James Version
!King James Version
!Proposed Conservative Translation
!King Schlafly Version
!Analysis
!Analysis
|-
|-
!Verse
!Verse
!King James Version
!King James Version
!Proposed Conservative Translation
!King Schlafly Version
!Analysis
!Analysis
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