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Line 1: − [[Image:Prayer.jpg|right|300px|Praying Hands]]+ − In [[Christianity]] and many other religions, '''prayer''' is the process of directly connecting to [[God]], usually for the purpose of deliberate communication. + + − Prayer is immensely helpful in many ways. It can help overcome addiction, such as [[video game]] usage, [[gambling]], and football-watching, and it provides comfort in times of trouble. It is a way to reach out for forgiveness, and develop the ability to forgive. It also is a way to request God's help or provision. Prayer is a powerful way to defeat anxiety. Prayer taps into the [[infinity|infinite]]—time, strength, joy, peace, or whatever—in ways that ordinary activities cannot.+ + + − Through prayer our thoughts and hopes are heard and understood. Oftentimes, prayer will result in feeling God's presence or feeling like one is touched by God. This feeling of a connection is cited by many theists as proof of God's existence. It is through prayer that man can understand God's will in his life and ask God for the courage and strength to carry his message to the world. Prayer is common throughout the [[Bible]] in both the [[Old Testament]] and the [[New Testament]].+ + + − == Studies confirming the efficacy of prayer for Christians ==+ + − + + + − The [[Christian apologetics|Christian apologist]] [[Gary Habermas]] wrote: "Double-blind prayer experiments: where people pray for others with terminal illness. Habermas admitted that most such experiments have not worked, but the three that he knows of that have indeed worked were cases of orthodox-Christians praying for the sick."<ref>[http://www.christianpost.com/news/christian-apologist-10-reasons-for-the-fall-of-atheism-106531/ Christian Apologist: 10 Reasons for the Fall of Atheism] by [[Gary Habermas]]</ref>+ + + − According to the American Cancer Society:+ − {{Cquote|According to the [[Centers for Disease Control and Prevention|US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention]] (CDC), 69% of cancer patients say they pray for their health. A recent study published in ''Cancer'', a peer-reviewed journal of the American Cancer Society, suggests a link between religious or spiritual beliefs and better physical health reported among patients with cancer.<ref>[https://www.cancer.org/latest-news/study-cancer-patients-with-strong-religious-or-spiritual-beliefs-report-better-health.html Study: Cancer Patients with Strong Religious or Spiritual Beliefs Report Better Health], American Cancer Society</ref>}}+ + − == A guideline of how one should pray ==+ + − In Christianity, Jesus gives a guideline of how one should pray to God with The Lord's Prayer:<blockquote>"Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name, thy kingdom come, they will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread, forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever, [[Amen]]."<ref>Matt 6:9-13</ref><ref>[http://www.lifeofchrist.com/teachings/sermons/mount/lordsprayer.asp Instructions for praying]</ref></blockquote>+ + − God is the only heavenly object of prayer in the Bible+ + − One way that is a great way to pray when you are praying privately (i.e. talking to God as though he is a close friend)is to just thank Him, thank Him for creating you, the world you live on, the stars, the sun, the galaxy, and everything else. We rarely thank him, but more so we usually ask for help, but it is good to thank him whenever you can.+ + − ==Private and public prayer==+ + + − There are many instances in the Bible of praying in private and also of praying within a group, and sometimes even of praying in public.+ + + − <blockquote>"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."<ref>{{Bible ref|Luke|5|16}}</ref></blockquote>+ + − [[Image:Jesus praying.jpg|thumb|Jesus praying at Gethsemane]]+ + + − Jesus also instructed:<blockquote>"But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."<ref>Matt 6:6</ref></blockquote>+ + − Even though he was with his [[Twelve Disciples|disciples]], Jesus also went off alone to pray on the [[Mount of Olives]] when he was about to be seized and [[crucified]].<ref>Luke 22:39-41</ref>+ + + − There are also many examples in the Bible of group prayer or praying in front of others:+ − * [[Solomon]] prayed publicly in dedicating the [[temple]] ({{Bible ref|1_Kings|8|22-61}}).+ − * [[Daniel (prophet)|Daniel]] prayed alone in his room, but by an open window where he could be seen ({{Bible ref|Daniel|6|10-11}}). − * Jesus sometimes prayed with his disciples ({{Bible ref|Luke|9|18}}). − * The Church prayed for Peter's miraculous release from prison ({{Bible ref|Acts|12|5}}). − * Jesus prayed in public, such as in {{Bible ref|Matthew|19|13-15}} when Jesus prayed for the children brought to him. − Other religions, and even different traditions within Christianity have developed their own practices related to prayer.<ref>[http://www.thenazareneway.com/modes_of_prayer.htm "The Modes of Prayer," from the Nazerine Way of Essenic Study]</ref>+ + − Modern societies often oppose and discourage public prayer. For example, in the United States, government [[school]]s forbid [[classroom prayer]].+ + − Nearly six-in-ten adults in the U.S. say they pray at least once a day.<ref>[http://religions.pewforum.org/ The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life] U.S. Religious Landscape Survey, 2008</ref>+ + + − == St. Francis Vocation Prayer ==+ + + − Most High, Glorious God,+ + + − enlighten the darkness of our minds.+ + + − Give us a right faith, a firm hope and a perfect charity,+ + + − so that we may always and in all things + + − act according to Your Holy Will. Amen.+ + + − ==Different types of prayer in the Bible==+ + − The Bible is much a book or prayer, containing about 650 different prayers,<ref>http://www.bible.ca/ntx-prayer.htm</ref> and consisting of various types. Some types that are categorized are,+ + + − *1. Prayer of supplication. (1 kg. 8: 37-40; 54-55; Lk. 11: 9-13; Ja. 5: 17-18)+ − *2. Prayer of intercession. (Gn 18: 22-33; 1 kg. 18: 41-46; 2 Kings 4: 32-36 Acts 12: 1-18) + − *3. Prayer of faith. (Mk. 11:12-14; 11: 20-25, Luke 7: 1-10; Ja. 5: 13-18, Mt. 9: 18-26) − *4. Prayer of agreement. (Gn. 11: 1-9; Ex. 17: 8-13; Psalm 133: 1-3; Mt. 18: 19-20; Acts 4:23; Heb. 10: 24-25) − *5. Prayer of praise and thanksgiving. (Ps. 100; 149:4-9; Acts 16:16-34; 1Thes. 5:15-19) <ref>http://www.wordlibrary.co.uk/article.php?id=11</ref> − ==Quotes on prayer==+ + + − *Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16 ([[Bible]])+ + + − *In what name they were to present their petitions: Ask in my name. To ask in Christ's name is, (1.) To plead his merit and intercession, and to depend upon that plea. (2.) It is to aim at his glory and to seek this as our highest end in all our prayers. - Matthew Henry+ + + − *We look upon prayer as a means of getting things for ourselves; The Bible idea of prayer is that we may get to know God Himself. - Oswald Chambers+ + + − *Prayer crowns God with the honor and glory due to His name, and God crowns prayer with assurance and comfort. The most praying souls are the most assured souls. - Thomas B. Brooks+ + + − *The great thing in prayer is to feel that we are putting our supplications into the bosom of omnipotent love. - Andrew Murray+ + + − *We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties. - Oswald Chambers+ + + − *Teach us to pray that we may cause The enemy to flee, That we his evil power may bind, His prisoners to free. - Watchman Nee+ + − *Prayer is the great engine to overthrow and rout my spiritual enemies, the great means to procure the graces of which I stand in hourly need. - John Newton+ + + − *Pray, always pray; when sickness wastes thy frame, Prayer brings the healing power of Jesus' name. - A. B. Simpson+ + + − *Prayer is the force as real as terrestrial gravity. As a physician, I have seen men, after all other therapy had failed, lifted out of disease and melancholy by the serene effort of prayer. Only in prayer do we achieve that complete and harmonious assembly of body, mind and spirit which gives the frail human reed its unshakable strength. - Dr. Alexis Carrel+ + + − *Every time we pray our horizon is altered, our attitude to things is altered, not sometimes but every time, and the amazing thing is that we don't pray more. - Oswald Chambers+ + − *One night alone in prayer might make us new men, changed from poverty of soul to spiritual wealth, from trembling to triumphing. - Charles Haddon Spurgeon+ + − *The less I pray, the harder it gets; the more I pray, the better it goes. - Martin Luther+ + − *He who has learned to pray has learned the greatest secret of a holy and a happy life. - William Law+ + + − *If you can't pray as you want to, pray as you can. God knows what you mean. - Vance Havner+ + − *It is not so true that "prayer changes things" as that prayer changes me and I change things. God has so constituted things that prayer on the basis of Redemption alters the way in which a man looks at things. Prayer is not a question of altering things externally, but of working wonders in a man's disposition. - Oswald Chambers+ + − *We read of preaching the Word out of season, but we do not read of praying out of season, for that is never out of season. - Matthew Henry+ + + − *To God your every Want In instant Prayer display, Pray always; Pray, and never faint; Pray, without ceasing, Pray. - Charles Wesley+ + − *Pray, always pray; beneath sins heaviest load, Prayer claims the blood from Jesus' side that flowed. Pray, always pray; though weary, faint, and lone, Prayer nestles by the Father's sheltering throne. - A. B. Simpson+ + − *Sometimes we think we are too busy to pray. That is a great mistake, for praying is a saving of time. - Charles Haddon Spurgeon+ + − *Tomorrow I plan to work, work, from early until late. In fact I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer. - Martin Luther+ + + − *In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart. - John Bunyan+ + + − *Refusal to pray is passive rebellion against God, "in whose hand thy breathe is." - Anonymous+ + + − *All the prayers in the Scripture you will find to be reasoning with God, not a multitude of words heaped together. - Stephen Charnock+ + − *Prayer is not eloquence, but earnestness; not the definition of helplessness, but the feeling of it; not figures of speech, but earnestness of soul. - Hannah More+ + − *The best prayers have often more groans than words. - John Bunyan+ + − *Unless I had the spirit of prayer, I could do nothing. - Charles G. Finney+ + − *A man's state before God may always be measured by his prayers.- J. C. Ryle+ + + − *Oh, what a cause of thankfulness it is that we have a gracious God to go to on all occasions! Use and enjoy this privilege and you can never be miserable. Oh, what an unspeakable privilege is prayer! - Lady Maxwell+ + + − *The tree of mercy will not drop its fruit unless shaken by the hand of prayer. - Thomas Watson<ref>Watson, Thomas. The Lord's Prayer. London: Banner of Truth Trust, 1999. Print. The Fourth Petition, Page 196</ref>+ + + − Perhaps the most noted author on prayer is the late Methodist minister [[E. M. Bounds]] (1835 - 1913): + + − *Prayer honors God, acknowledges His being, exalts His power, adores His providence, secures His aid.+ + + − *By prayer, the ability is secured to feel the law of love, to speak according to the law of love, and to do everything in harmony with the law of love.+ + − *Praying which does not result in pure conduct is a delusion. We have missed the whole office and virtue of praying if it does not rectify conduct. It is in the very nature of things that we must quit praying, or quit bad conduct.+ − + − *Natural ability and educational advantages do not figure as factors in this matter of prayer; but a capacity for faith, the power of a thorough consecration, the ability of self-littleness, an absolute losing of one's self in God's glory and an ever-present and insatiable yearning and seeking after all the fullness of God.+ − *The goal of prayer is the ear of God, a goal that can only be reached by patient and continued and continuous waiting upon Him, pouring out our heart to Him and permitting Him to speak to us. Only by so doing can we expect to know Him, and as we come to know Him better we shall spend more time in His presence and find that presence a constant and ever-increasing delight.+ + − *Importunity is a condition of prayer. We are to press the matter, not with vain repetitions, but with urgent repetitions. We repeat, not to count the times, but to gain the prayer. We cannot quit praying because heart and soul are in it. We pray "with all perseverance." We hang to our prayers because by them we live. We press our pleas because we must have them, or die.<ref>[http://www.famousquotesandauthors.com/topics/prayer_quotes.html Famous Quotes and Authors.com Prayer Quotes and Quotations]</ref>+ + + − ==Effectual prayer==+ + + − All faithful Christians attest to answered prayer, as well as countless people who have prayed in times of crisis. An [[evangelical Christian]], [[George Mueller]] (1805-1898), probably best known as the "Father of Orphans", prayerfully met the needs of thousands of children. Mueller and his wife decided to depend on God alone to supply their needs - never again to approach people about them - and 68 years later Mueller had prayed in over seven and a half million dollars, and logged in his journal 50,000 specific answers to prayer - 5,000 were answered on the very day of their asking.<ref>http://www.eaec.org/faithhallfame/georgemuller.htm</ref>+ + + − ==Prayer in government==+ − Prayer is a mandated part of governmental affairs within a [[theocracy]] such as [[Islam]], while voluntary prayer may play a part within governments which recognize [[separation of church and state]]. In contrast, refusal to acknowledge God is seen as practically conveying atheism, with prayer being excluded as part of [[atheistic]] systems such as [[Communism]]. + + − In America, upon landing the pilgrims "Being thus arrived in a good harbor, and brought safe to land, they fell upon their knees, and blessed the God of heaven who had brought them over the vast and furious ocean and delivered them from all the perils and miseries thereof…" <ref>William Bradford+ − November 9, 1620; http://www.dailyencouragement.net/seasonal/pilgrim_history.html</ref>+ + − Three days before George Washington took the oath of office as the first president of the United States, Congress passed the following resolution:+ + + − Resolved, That after the oath shall have been administered to the President, he, attended by the Vice President and members of the Senate and House of Representatives, shall proceed to St. Paul's Chapel, to hear divine service. (Annals of Congress, Vol. 1, p. 25, April 27, 1789) + + + − Samuel Provoost (1742–1815), the newly appointed chaplain of the United States Senate and first Episcopal bishop of New York, performed “divine service” at St. Paul's Chapel on April 30, 1789, immediately following Washington's inauguration.+ + + − In the aftermath of the Civil War and the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, the Rev. John G. Butler, pastor of Luther Place Memorial Church in Washington, D.C., and chaplain of both the U. S. House of Representatives (1865–1875) and the Senate (1886–1893), organized interfaith inaugural prayer meetings in the nation's capital commencing in 1869. These services continued well into the twentieth century.<ref>http://www.nationalcathedral.org/about/presidentialInaugurals.shtml</ref>+ + + − In America, prayer and worship services have regularly been part of Inauguration Day activities.<ref>http://inaugural.senate.gov/history/daysevents/morningworshipservice.cfm</ref> + + − ===Prayers by American Presidents===+ + + − In September 1789, Congress asked President George Washington to “recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging, with grateful hearts, the many signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a Constitution of government for their safety and happiness.”+ − + − Washington complied, and in early October sent a proclamation to the governors of the states.The proclamation asked the governors to make Thursday, November 26 a day of Thanksgiving, saying: + − − <blockquote> − Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor--and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me “to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.”+ − </blockquote>+ − − <blockquote> − Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be--That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks--for his kind care and protection of the People of this Country previous to their becoming a Nation--for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his Providence which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war--for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed--for the peaceable and rational manner, in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted--for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed; and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us. − </blockquote> − − <blockquote> − And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions--to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually--to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed--to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shown kindness onto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord--To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us--and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best. − − Given under my hand at the City of New-York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789. − <ref>The Massachusetts Centinel, Wednesday, October 14, 1789</ref><ref>https://www.cnsnews.com/public/content/article.aspx?RsrcID=40032</ref><ref>[http://www.earlyamerica.com/earlyamerica/firsts/thanksgiving/original.html Thanksgiving Proclamation - The Original]</ref>+ − </blockquote> + + − *George Washington, an undated prayer for guidance from Washington's prayer journal, Mount Vernon:+ + + − <blockquote>+ − O eternal and everlasting God, I presume to present myself this morning before thy Divine majesty, beseeching thee to accept of my humble and hearty thanks, that it hath pleased thy great goodness to keep and preserve me the night past from all the dangers poor mortals are subject to, and has given me sweet and pleasant sleep, whereby I find my body refreshed and comforted for performing the duties of this day, in which I beseech thee to defend me from all perils of body and soul....+ − Increase my faith in the sweet promises of the gospel; give me repentance from dead works; pardon my wanderings, and direct my thoughts unto thyself, the God of my salvation; teach me how to live in thy fear, labor in thy service, and ever to run in the ways of thy commandments; make me always watchful over my heart, that neither the terrors of conscience, the loathing of holy duties, the love of sin, nor an unwillingness to depart this life, may cast me into a spiritual slumber, but daily frame me more and more into the likeness of thy son Jesus Christ, that living in thy fear, and dying in thy favor, I may in thy appointed time attain the resurrection of the just unto eternal life bless my family, friends, and kindred.+ − </blockquote> + + − *Thomas Jefferson; a prayer for the Nation (Washington D.C., March 4, 1801):+ + − <blockquote>+ − Almighty God, Who has given us this good land for our heritage; We humbly beseech Thee that we may always prove ourselves a people mindful of Thy favor and glad to do Thy will. Bless our land with honorable ministry, sound learning, and pure manners. Save us from violence, discord, and confusion, from pride and arrogance, and from every evil way. Defend our liberties, and fashion into one united people, the multitude brought hither out of many kindreds and tongues. Endow with Thy spirit of wisdom those whom in Thy name we entrust the authority of government, that there may be justice and peace at home, and that through obedience to Thy law, we may show forth Thy praise among the nations of the earth. In time of prosperity fill our hearts with thankfulness, and in the day of trouble, suffer not our trust in Thee to fail; all of which we ask through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.+ − </blockquote> − *Abraham Lincoln; a prayer for peace (Second Inaugural address, March 4, 1865):+ + − <blockquote>+ − Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet if God wills that it continues... until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid another drawn with the sword... so still it must be said that the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.+ − With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow and for his orphans, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and a lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.</blockquote>.+ + + − *Franklin D. Roosevelt; a prayer in dark times (D-Day, June 6, 1944):+ + + − <blockquote>+ − Almighty God: Our sons, pride of our nation, this day have set upon a mighty endeavor, a struggle to preserve our Republic, our religion and our civilization, and to set free a suffering humanity...+ + − Lead them straight and true; give strength to their arms, stoutness to their hearts, steadfastness in their faith. They will need Thy blessings. Their road will be long and hard. For the enemy is strong. He may hurl back our forces. Success may not come with rushing speed, but we shall return again and again; and we know by Thy grace, and by the righteousness of our cause, our sons will triumph...+ + + − Embrace these, Father, and receive them, Thy heroic servants, into Thy kingdom. And for us at home--fathers, mothers, children, wives, sisters, and brothers of brave men overseas, whose thoughts and prayers are ever with them--help us, Almighty God, to rededicate ourselves in renewed faith in Thee in this hour of great sacrifice... Give us strength, too--strength in our daily tasks, to redouble the contributions we make in the physical and the material support of our armed forces.+ + + − With Thy blessing, we shall prevail over the unholy forces of our enemy. Help us to conquer the apostles of greed and racial arrogances. Lead us to the saving of our country, and with our sister nations into a world unity that will spell a sure peace--a peace invulnerable to the schemings of unworthy men. And a peace that will let all men live in freedom, reaping the just rewards of their honest toil.+ − </blockquote>+ + − *John F. Kennedy; a prayer of gratitude (Thanksgiving Day, 1963):+ + + − <blockquote>+ − Let us therefore proclaim our gratitude to Providence for manifold blessings--let us be humbly thankful for inherited ideals--and let us resolve to share those blessings and those ideals with our fellow human beings throughout the world.+ − On that day let us gather in sanctuaries dedicated to worship and in homes blessed by family affection to express our gratitude for the glorious gifts of God; and let us earnestly and humbly pray that He will continue to guide and sustain us in the great unfinished tasks of achieving peace, justice, and understanding among all men and nations and of ending misery and suffering wherever they exist.+ − </blockquote>+ − + − Jimmy Carter; a prayer for a meaningful life (inaugural address, January 20, 1977, and Thanksgiving speech to the nation, November 27, 1980): − <blockquote>+ − I would like to have my frequent prayer answered that God let my life be meaningful in the enhancement of His kingdom and that my life might be meaningful in the enhancement of the lives of my fellow human beings.+ + − I call upon all the people of our Nation to give thanks on that day for the blessings Almighty God has bestowed upon us, and to join the fervent prayer of George Washington who as President asked God to "impart all the blessings we possess, or ask for ourselves to the whole family of mankind.+ − </blockquote>+ − Ronald Reagan; a prayer for healing (from a speech to the American people, February 6, 1986):+ + + − <blockquote>+ − To preserve our blessed land we must look to God... It is time to realize that we need God more than He needs us... We also have His promise that we could take to heart with regard to our country, that "If my people, which are called by my name shall humble themselves, and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."+ − Let us, young and old, join together, as did the First Continental Congress, in the first step, in humble heartfelt prayer. Let us do so for the love of God and His great goodness, in search of His guidance and the grace of repentance, in seeking His blessings, His peace, and the resting of His kind and holy hands on ourselves, our nation, our friends in the defense of freedom, and all mankind, now and always.+ + + − The time has come to turn to God and reassert our trust in Him for the healing of America... Our country is in need of and ready for a spiritual renewal. Today, we utter no prayer more fervently than the ancient prayer for peace on Earth.+ + − If I had a prayer for you today, among those that have all been uttered, it is that one we're so familiar with: "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace...." And God bless you all.+ − </blockquote>+ + − George H. W. Bush; a prayer to help others (Inaugural address, January 20, 1989):+ + − <blockquote>+ − My first act as President is a prayer. I ask you to bow your heads.+ + − Heavenly Father, we bow our heads and thank You for Your love. Accept our thanks for the peace that yields this day and the shared faith that makes its continuance likely. Make us strong to do Your work, willing to heed and hear Your will, and write on our hearts these words: "Use power to help people."+ + + − For we are given power not to advance our own purposes, nor to make a great show in the world, nor a name. There is but one just use of power, and it is to serve people. Help us to remember it, Lord.+ + − The Lord our God be with us, as He was with our fathers; may He not leave us or forsake us; so that He may incline our hearts to Him, to walk in all His ways... that all peoples of the earth may know that the Lord is God; there is no other.<ref>http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Faith-Tools/Meditation/2005/01/Prayers-Of-The-Presidents.aspx?p=2</ref>+ − </blockquote>+ + − ==Prayer in other religions==+ + + − In [[Hinduism]], Prayer is an integral part of the daily living. Chanting of [[mantras]] is the most important form of prayer in Hinduism. Some devotees meditate chanting different names of the Gods. Prayer is also a vital part of [[Islam]]. As part of their faith, they are required to say five prayers at certain times of the day facing Mecca. Each prayer must be recited in [[Arabic]].<ref>http://muslimvoices.org/muslim-prayer/</ref>+ + − == How not to Pray ==+ + + − See the above section.+ + + − In the [[Sermon on the Mount]], [[Jesus]] warned against hypocrisy in prayer:<blockquote>"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full."<ref>Matt 6:5</ref></blockquote>+ + + − At the time, the religious authorities believed it was necessary to pray at specific times of the day, and would often make sure they were in large crowds of people when those times arose so that they could be seen and heard by all. Jesus did not approve of this.+ + + − Jesus also warned against a high word-to-substance ratio in prayer:<blockquote>"And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."<ref>Matt 6:7-8</ref></blockquote>+ + − Pagan prayers at the time believed that there was power in continuous repetition of words, that if you said a word often enough, then you could eventually own that object or claim that power for yourself. Jesus condemned this.+ + − ==2 Peter 2:15: "''after my departure''"==+ + + − "'''I will make every effort ''even after my departure'' that you may always be able to remember these things'''" 2 Peter 1:15.+ + + − This verse is read by some as scriptural evidence of the apostolic doctrine of the [[intercession of the saints]] after they have ''departed in sleep'' to be with the Lord. Roman Catholic commentators, [[Cornelius a Lapide]] and others, have connected the words “''after my decease''” with the verb “''I will endeavour'',” and have thus construed the [[Exegesis|exegetical]] meaning of the Apostle's words into an interpretation that makes them an argument for his continued watchfulness and superintendence over the development of the Church's doctrine even after his death. + + + − Others exegetically read it instead as Peter's promise while he is alive to "''make every effort that you may always be able to remember these things even after my departure''" (that is, so that they will not forget what he taught them concerning all things pertaining to life and godliness, 2 Peter 1:3-11.) It is thus read as an insistent parallel restatement of the immediately preceding verse, "''I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to arouse you by way of reminder.''" + + + − One reading sees Peter determined to do this both before and after he dies, the other reading sees Peter, while he is alive, determined to make them remember even after he dies, "''as long as I am in this body''". + − ===interpretive translation===+ − The particular interpretive reading of the Greek text by the individual exegete determines (in this case, for the English translator) where to position the phrase "''after my departure''" in the translated text. This is expressed in the observation of [[Hermeneutics|hermeneutical studies]] that "the Bible is always read through the doctrinal lenses of the interpreter's personal theology, opening the eyes of some and closing others to what is actually there." Compare the following renderings of 2 Peter 1:15 in English:+ − :"'''I will make every effort ''even after my departure'' that you may always be able to remember these things.'''"+ − :"'''I will make every effort that you may always be able to remember these things ''even after my departure.'''''"+ − See the [http://biblehub.com/interlinear/2_peter/1-15.htm Interlinear Bible link]. <br>Compare multiple versions of [http://biblehub.com/multi/2_peter/1-15.htm 2 Peter 1:15] and multiple [http://biblehub.com/commentaries/2_peter/1-15.htm commentaries].+ − ===the Greek grammar of this text===+ − The Greek grammar favors the first reading, which supports the interpretation that Peter's stated intention is to assist them from heaven even after he dies. This is also the Orthodox and Catholic doctrine. The words ΔῈ ΚΑΊ following on ΣΠΟΥΔΆΣΩ seem to imply that the author would do something else besides the ὙΠΟΜΙΜΝΉΣΚΕΙΝ, whereby his readers after his death would be put in a position to remember what he now writes to them and all he taught. (Compare Jesus' words in John 14:25-26.)<br>Other interpreters see some ambiguous evidence of possible grammatical latitude in the Greek structure of the sentence which allows the second reading. Such a reading by not referring to what Peter will do "''after my departure''" supports the Protestant doctrine that denies the traditional Catholic and Orthodox teaching about the intercession of the saints. The doctrine of the active intercessory ministry of the saints in heaven is dismissed by [[Evangelical Christianity|Evangelical]] theology as being a corrupt compromise with [[Superstition|superstitious]] [[Paganism|pagan]] [[polytheism]], and a [[blasphemy|blasphemous denial]] of the [[mediation]] of the One Mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus. [http://biblehub.com/commentaries/1_timothy/2-5.htm 1 Timothy 2:5] − ===controversy: confusing the meaning of intercession and mediation=== − Controversy over teachings about the prayers of the saints on behalf of the living is primarily rooted in confusing the meanings of "'''[[intercession]]'''" and "'''mediation'''". Many modern dictionaries give the current meanings as [[synonym]]ous, that the one is the other. Older usages of these terms show that they are not the same thing. − To [[intercede]] is to speak on behalf of another, to defend their cause, and to seek for favor or forgiveness from an estranged or hostile party (see 2 Samuel 14). In some situations, the intercessor seeks the decision of a judge to render a favorable decision or verdict. + + − To mediate is to bring together two parties at odds and estranged from one another by favorably representing the interests of both to each other by intercession, and then actively assisting them to completely remove actual barriers to their unity, by providing when necessary all the means of substantial reparation for all damage done by one party to the other or done mutually by each to the other. The mediator seeks to avoid having any recourse to a judge, and in principle will not himself or herself make a judgment either for or against either party involved in the dispute. In very extreme cases, the mediator, to avoid having the matter brought before a judge and to bring about actual peace, has personally arranged to make the absolutely necessary reparation required to remove the offense, and at great personal cost, solely to bring both parties together totally reconciled. Once this necessary reparation has been made, both of them afterward are able (if they will) to acknowledge that the very cause of what divided them has been completely removed. It no longer exists, and because it is gone there is no longer any substantial reason for their avoidance of each other and for acts of war, the one against the other, and the shutting out of the offending party. The compassionate act of the mediator has made this agreeable union possible. (U.S. law prohibits an authorized mediator acting directly to personally remove the cause of the dispute in order to resolve the conflict. See [[Conflict of interest]].) + − ====in summary====+ − An ''intercessor'' pleads the case, seeking a favorable judgment or at best a total dismissal of the charge brought against the [[Defendant|accused]] by the [[plaintiff]]. <br>A ''mediator'' arranges for a full reconciliation through resolution of the conflict by proposing a just reparation or settlement agreeable to both parties, without pronouncing judgment in the matter, and without recourse to a judge. The case has been "settled out of court". See Matthew 5:25-26; Luke 12:57-59.+ − ===prayer as petition=== − In addition to differences in variant Christian understandings and misunderstandings of intercession and mediation, there is also a difference in variant Christian understandings of the meaning of the word "prayer", which anciently meant simply "petition". − :Most basically and fundamentally, to "[http://www.thefreedictionary.com/pray "'''pray'''"]" (verb) is "to [http://www.thefreedictionary.com/petition "'''petition'''"]" (''TheFreeDictionary.com'')<br>Compare Conservapedia article '''Prayer'''. − Petitions to the governing authorities of a nation or people were usually introduced with the phrase, "''we pray you to'' [do this or that]". [[Attorney]]s for the prosecution and the defense even today frequently address the court (the bar), in words spoken or written, with the word "pray": for example, "''Your Honor, the defense prays the court to ...''". Formal petitions by governors to the king or queen anciently addressed that sovereign lord or lady first with a preamble acknowledgement of their authority, followed by the words: "''The people pray Your Majesty'' [to do this or that, ''or'' to cause to cease this or that] ''for the benefit of the realm''". + + − In ordinary society individuals often begged other individuals for a favor or benefit by praying them to consider some factor in their favor or some distress that needs to be addressed; for example a mother praying her husband, the father of their daughter or son, to forgive what the son or daughter has done. + + + − Those who were not members of the court of the emperor or sovereign, nor members of the legislative body of the nation, but who wished to appeal for some relief or benefit for themselves or on behalf of another, normally petitioned a member of the court in favor with the ruler or governing council to favorably represent them and to personally present the petition or prayer on their behalf for due consideration, and request the sovereign or ruling body to render a favorable decision. This is the proper form. An individual with no official standing in the administration of the nation who entered and approached to represent himself or herself as having a legitimate petition would be held in contempt as [[Presumption|presumptuous and bold]], as having no respect for the authority of the court by going over their heads. In the military they would be guilty of circumventing the "appropriate chain of command". In none of these instances is divine worship meant by a prayer of petition to authority. + − ===narrowing the definition of prayer===+ − When the word prayer is narrowly defined and understood to mean '''''only''''' speaking to God, then its fuller meaning has been stripped away and its language has been abused and violated. Most often this occurs unconsciously, because of how the word is normally used in [[American]] culture. Many are surprised to discover its broader legitimate meaning as found in authoritative dictionaries of the English language.+ − ===Reformation teaching: restricting the meaning of "pray"=== − The Protestant Reformers in their struggle against the Catholic Church sought to promote pure piety and worship of God by eliminating the practice of prayers for the intercession of the saints in God's court of heaven by strictly defining prayer as meaning only petition to God. From this came the understanding that prayers to the saints to pray for us to God is a form of pagan idolatry, with the worship of saints taking the place of the worship of God (Colossians 2;18-19). They represented the intercession of the saints as the placing of a barrier between the Christian and the Savior, and as a disguised form of the pagan doctrine of the lesser and greater ascending levels of gods and goddesses who alone had right of access to the throne of God the Unknown. The Reformers sought to emphasize the sovereign dignity of each individual Christian as having a right to bypass the saints with direct access to the Majesty on High through Jesus Christ alone, as having the right to approach "''boldly''" the throne of grace without any necessity for intercession by any other being in heaven or on earth to support their prayers. ([http://biblehub.com/multi/hebrews/10-19.htm Hebrews 10:19]; [http://biblehub.com/multi/ephesians/3-12.htm Ephesians 3:12]; [http://biblehub.com/multi/1_john/4-17.htm 1 John 4:17]). − In the civil sphere of human activity the Reformers also objected to the distance that [[Monarchy|autocratic]] rulers maintained between themselves and their subjects by the bureaucratic structure of levels of administrators and ministers, governors and officials, officers and clerks, often perceived as interfering and obstructing the petitions of the people and as refusing to reasonably submit them to the ruler.+ + + − However, many regarded the Protestant interpretation of scripture in support of the dignity of individual human autonomy under Christ before God's Throne as an expression of [[Anarchism|philosophical anarchy]], and as subversively dangerous to the stability of Christian society; and also as being at its core strongly opposed to the virtue of [[humility]] (Romans 13:1-7). See [[Individualism]]. The Reformers were regarded as confusing "''arrogance''" and "''insulting effrontery''" with godly "''confidence''", and as regarding arrogant behavior on behalf of the Gospel as confident assurance in the face of ungodly opposition (Acts 4:13). The Catholic [http://reign.wikia.com/wiki/Charles_V,_Holy_Roman_Emperor Holy Roman Emperor Charles V] saw the Reformation movement as subversive to his reign, and an attack on Christianity through rejection of the established authority of the Catholic Church, and on this basis persecuted Protestants as fomenters of [[Revolution|insurrection]] and as anarchists. + + + − [[Anarchism|Anarchy]] as a political philosophy is based on the individualist position that '''''no''''' human authority over individuals is '''''ever''''' legitimate and must be either passively disregarded (ignored, the KJV "''despised''") or actively resisted and overthrown. Thus no visible ruling authority or government on earth has been authorized or established by God. The Reformers saw proof of this in the suppression of the Reformation by Sovereigns, Popes and Patriarchs, who saw the leaders of the Reformation as rebelliously resisting what God has appointed (Romans 13:1-4). + + − The Reformation saw the established authorities of Church and State in their day as entrenched and stubborn ungodly evils to be rejected and finally eliminated before the Kingdom of God could be established on earth. They represented the corruption and abuse of authority by particular self-serving leaders in the Church in violation of the [[doctrine]] of the Church as evident proof that the whole of the doctrine of the Church itself was corrupted by the Devil. By the same reasoning the betrayal of Judas Iscariot, one of the Twelve, is representative of Christ's teaching. But even in our own day the corrupt practices of many politicians is not proof that the [[Constitution]] is the primary foundation of their corrupt betrayal of the ideals of the American Republic. The Reformers condemned those who said the emperor, the pope and the Church should be obeyed in accordance with what Paul had written in Romans 13:1-4. The Prophet [[Jeremiah]] was condemned by Judean false prophets and influential politicians as a traitor for declaring God's command to submit to the ungodly pagan rule of [[Nebuchadnezzar]] of [[Babylonian Empire|Babylon]] ([http://biblehub.com/commentaries/jeremiah/11-21.htm Jeremiah 11:21][http://biblehub.com/commentaries/jeremiah/29-27.htm Jeremiah 29:27] and [http://biblehub.com/commentaries/jeremiah/38-4.htm Jeremiah 38:4]), but that is what God had commanded.+ + + − During the original [[Communist Revolution]] in the early 20th century, revolutionary elements were called [[Anarchist]]s. The anarchist position is represented today in the United States by the [[Libertarian|Libertarian Party]] whose members use much milder methods of political persuasion, and in every election for president the Libertarian Party presents a Libertarian candidate.+ + + − Jesus told his followers to obey those corrupt leaders of the Jewish faith who represented Moses, but not to do what they do. ([http://biblehub.com/commentaries/matthew/23-2.htm Matthew 23:2-3]). As applied in principle to the leadership of the Catholic Church in the sixteenth century, the Protestant Reformers in '''[[conscience]]''' and in full accordance with their interpretation of the Bible found this obedience impossible, because of what they saw as irreparable evils and pagan influences entrenched within the doctrines of Catholicism. The command of Paul in Romans 13:1-4 and of Peter in 1 Peter 2:13-17 and of Hebrews 13:17 when applied with regard to the established authority of the Holy Roman Emperor, of the Pope and of the Catholic Sovereigns of Europe, was for the Reformers equally abhorrent and impossible in conscience for them to obey, even if it was in the Bible. They had reached the conclusion that the Holy Spirit was '''''not''''' guiding the Catholic Church into all truth, but had departed from her, and that Jesus Himself had '''''not''''' remained with her, but that '''[[Satan]]''' was ruling the Church instead. This is also the fundamental claim of [[The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints]]. On this basis many Orthodox and Catholic Christians depart and join Protestant churches.+ + − Catholic and Orthodox [[Apologetics|apologists]] respond that this implies that Jesus broke his promises in John 14:15-17, 25-26; 15:26; 16:12-13; 17:9-11; Matthew 16:18-19; 28:19-20; and they point to Jesus' word about the church in Matthew 18:17-20 as being always true and reliable, and to the fact that Paul testified to Timothy that the Church is the "''pillar and ground of truth''" and to the Ephesians that the wisdom of God is revealed even to the powers in heaven through the Church (1 Timothy 3:15 and Ephesians 3:10). On this basis many Protestant Christians depart from their churches and become Catholic and Orthodox.+ + − As applied to both sides of the controversy see the counsel of [[Gamaliel]] in '''Acts 5:38-39''' and the word of the angel in '''Revelation 22:10-11'''. See especially '''2 Timothy 2:23-26'''. These verses express the guiding principle of [[Ecumenical Movement|Ecumenism]].+ + − Generally, abuse of language by changing or narrowing the meanings of key words in the culture of a whole people or within a particular subculture of the population is a strategy of cults and anti-Christian interests as a way to promote their ideas. [[George Orwell]] illustrated this in his novel '''''[[1984]]'''''. This has more recently been seen in attempts to redefine the meanings of [[marriage]] and [[Sex#Norms of social conduct|gender]], and the promotion of murder as compassionate medical care and as preventive medicine. <br>See [[Eugenics]] and [[Planned Parenthood]].+ + + − The Protestant Evangelical and Fundamentalist churches have redefined the word "prayer" to mean '''''only''''' petition to God so that any kind of prayer addressed to any other person on earth or in heaven is a sin of idolatry offensive to God. But they do not hesitate to ask (request, petition) the police and fire rescue teams for help. They do not hesitate to ask (request, petition) their pastors and prayer groups and friends for help to join them in prayer and to pray for them and intercede with them to God on behalf of those who have need of prayer. + + + − Orthodox and Catholic Christians claim that this is all that they mean by asking for the intercession of the saints in heaven for their help on behalf of themselves and others, because they are alive and their power and authority comes from God alone who has appointed them as protectors and helpers of souls for their salvation and for his glory alone. They claim that in honoring the saints alive in heaven they are honoring God, "''but it is the same God which worketh all in all''" 1 Corinthians 12:6, "''For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living: for all live unto him''" Luke 20:38.+ + − The Christian Fundamentalist response is that the saints are dead and can do nothing, and only God can answer prayer. Compare [http://biblehub.com/commentaries/matthew/17-3.htm Matthew 17:3]; [http://biblehub.com/commentaries/matthew/22-32.htm 22:32]. See also [http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/apologetics/a96.htm '''Communion of Saints: Dead or Alive in Christ?''']+ + + − + + + − ===the doctrinal agendas of Bible translators===+ − The beliefs of committees of biblical translation and of individual translators have directly affected their translations of particular passages of the scriptures into English, sometimes deliberately slanted to support their doctrinal beliefs ([[Cafeteria Christian#Proof texts|Proof texts]]). '''2 Peter 1:15''' is only one example. See the following:+ − *[http://bibleprobe.com/falsebibles.htm '''False versions of the Bible''' (bibleprobe.com)].+ − *[http://www.bible-researcher.com/kjvdefects.html '''''The Revised New Testament and History of Revision'' (1881) "Defects of the King James Version"''' (bible-researcher.com)] [[Isaac H. Hall]]. − == See also ==+ − *[[Classroom prayer]]+ − *[[Hail Mary]]+ − *[[Rosary]] − *[[Sinner's prayer]] − *[[The Lord's Prayer]] − *[[Nicene Creed]] − *[[Transmigration of Words in Religion: an essay]] − == References==+ − <references/>+ + − == External links ==+ − * [http://www.studylight.org/enc/isb/view.cgi?number=T7055 Prayer, The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia]+ − *[https://books.google.com/books?id=T22qP23L0wwC&pg=PA73&lpg=PA73&dq=Notable+Prayers+in+the+Bible&source=bl&ots=BzZZpk-8P2&sig=m5Rju2WEIf8glC-qe_Gc8gC6lFw&hl=en&ei=HT76Scy3IpO-Mui_lLwE&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=6#PPA8,M1 All the Prayers of the Bible, with commentary. Online book by Herbert Lockyer]+ − *[http://peacebyjesus.witnesstoday.org/BIBLE-PRAYERS.html Compilation of most of the prayers in the Bible] − *[http://christianity.about.com/od/prayersinthebible/qt/bibleprayersind.htm Collection of Notable Prayers Found in the Bible] − *[http://www.catholic.org/prayers/ Prayers] Catholic Online. − *[http://www.scborromeo.org/prayers.htm Prayers] − *[http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1879016,00.html The Biology of Belief] − *[http://www.prayface.com Online Prayer] − *[http://www.mrmatthewhenry.com Read Matthew Henry's classic prayerbook 'A Method for Prayer' for free] + + + − [[Category:Religion]]+ − [[Category:Christianity]]+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 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+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Refrences added
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
''See also:'' [[Studies on prayer]] and [[Atheism and cancer]]
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry?
- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
- Bee-men.
- Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
...9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...
Honey!
- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!
- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.
- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.
What's the difference?
You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you'll just work us to death?
We'll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We're bees.
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
I've never seen them this close.
They know what it's like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don't come back.
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.
Their day's not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you're interested in?
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
It is a basic fact of human nature that if any practice, [[Religion|religious]] or [[secular]], pagan or Christian, Orthodox, Catholic, Protestant, Fundamentalist, Independent, Non-denominational, [[Humanism|Humanist]], is represented or misrepresented as an [[evil]], then those who believe what they are told about that practice, and who wish to do good, will sincerely avoid that practice as being a sin, a thing harmful to individuals and to society as a whole, and will oppose it, either publicly in speeches, sermons, and public [[media]], or privately in their conversations with each other.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.
You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
I'm so proud.
- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!
One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
- You want to go first?
- No, you go.
Oh, my. What's available?
Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.
- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey's always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?
Barry!
All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...
What happened to you?
Where are you?
- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?
- Out there.
- Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
- Thank you.
- OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.
- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let's move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I'm out!
I can't believe I'm out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.
That's amazing. Why do we do that?
That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.
My sweet lord of bees!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
- Guys!
- This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama's little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don't think these are flowers.
- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There's a bee in the car!
- Do something!
- I'm driving!
- Hi, bee.
- He's back here!
He's going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What's number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don't go for that...
...kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.
I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don't kill him!
You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.
- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I've got to.
Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can't.
How should I start it?
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I'm sorry.
- You're talking.
- Yes, I know.
You're talking!
I'm so sorry.
No, it's OK. It's fine.
I know I'm dreaming.
But I don't recall going to bed.
Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you're a bee!
I am. And I'm not supposed
to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn't for you...
I had to thank you.
It's just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah.
I'm talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.
- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.
- That's very funny.
- Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway...
Oan I...
...get you something?
- Like what?
I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?
I don't want to put you out.
It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.
- It's just coffee.
- I hate to impose.
- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
- I shouldn't.
- Have some.
- No, I can't.
- Oome on!
I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.
- Where?
- These stripes don't help.
You look great!
I don't know if you know
anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?"
Is that a bee joke?
That's the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don't know.
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can't do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
- You do?
- Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look...
There's my hive right there. See it?
You're in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?
- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I'll try that.
- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it's no trouble.
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life.
Are you...?
Oan I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
- Thanks!
- Yeah.
All right. Well, then...
I guess I'll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you
so much again... for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...
This can't possibly work.
He's all set to go.
We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can't believe
you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't.
- How'd you get back?
- Poodle.
You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
You had your "experience." Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.
- Well...
- Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.
- Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.
I know it's the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
I can't get by that face.
So who is she?
She's... human.
No, no. That's a bee law.
You wouldn't break a bee law.
- Her name's Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.
She's so nice. And she's a florist!
Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
We're not dating.
You're flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that?
- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin' stripey!
And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!
- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.
It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up...
Sit down!
...really hot!
- Listen to me!
We are not them! We're us.
There's us and there's them!
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
There's no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He's in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry?
I gotta start thinking bee?
How much longer will this go on?
It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?
I've got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You're barely a bee!
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
Barry, come out.
Your father's talking to you.
Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I'm talking to you!
You coming?
Got everything?
All set!
Go ahead. I'll catch up.
Don't be too long.
Watch this!
Vanessa!
- We're still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn't respond to yelling!
- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don't listen!
I'm not listening to this.
Sorry, I've gotta go.
- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend.
A girl? Is this why you can't decide?
Bye.
I just hope she's Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that's every florist's dream!
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
No. All right, I've got one.
How come you don't fly everywhere?
It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster.
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!
You don't have that?
We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
It's a horrible, horrible disease.
Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks.
We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us.
So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah.
- What is wrong with you?!
- It's a bug.
He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You've really got that
down to a science.
- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I'll bet.
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
Ray Liotta Private Select?
- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.
- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.
You don't have
enough food of your own?
- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?
- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!
And it's hard to make it!
There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
- It's organic.
- It's our-ganic!
It's just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don't know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
You've taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this.
I'm getting to the bottom
of all of this!
Hey, Hector.
- You almost done?
- Almost.
He is here. I sense it.
Well, I guess I'll go home now
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
You're busted, box boy!
I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier?
I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
You're too late! It's ours now!
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
Where is the honey coming from?
Tell me where!
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here?
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
they're on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You're not dead?
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
I'm going to Tacoma.
- And you?
- He really is dead.
All right.
Uh-oh!
- What is that?!
- Oh, no!
- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?
Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.
But don't kill no more bugs!
- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!
- You hear something?
- Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio.
Whassup, bee boy?
Hey, Blood.
Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
Wow!
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.
I mean, that honey's ours.
- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in.
It's a close community.
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!
I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
"They make the honey,
and we make the money"?
Oh, my!
What's going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn't last too long.
Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!
That's a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There's hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
How did you get mixed up in this?
He's been talking to humans.
- What?
- Talking to humans?!
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it's true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye!
- That would hurt.
- No.
Up the nose? That's a killer.
There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Ohung.
- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this"?
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you?
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
It's a common name. Next week...
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...
Next week...
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.
Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.
Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!
I'm helping him sue the human race.
- Hello.
- Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.
But it's our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
- Frosting...
- How many sugars?
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you're three.
And artificial flowers.
- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake things!
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
- I guess.
You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able
to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
without paying a royalty!
It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It's pretty big, isn't it?
I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
- What's the matter?
- I don't know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn't the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson... you're representing
all the bees of the world?
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn't some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.
I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.
It's important to all bees.
We invented it!
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,
you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
I suppose so.
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
- No.
- I couldn't hear you.
- No.
- No.
Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They're very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
Bears kill bees!
How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
OK, that's enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.
But you've never been
a police officer, have you?
No, I haven't.
No, you haven't. And so here
we have yet another example
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
Oh, please.
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting.
Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
That's not his real name?! You idiots!
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
Thank you. Thank you.
I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow.
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don't
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
This isn't a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
- Order in this court!
- You're all thinking it!
Order! Order, I say!
- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
I think the jury's on our side.
Are we doing everything right, legally?
I'm a florist.
Right. Well, here's to a great team.
To a great team!
Well, hello.
- Ken!
- Hello.
I didn't think you were coming.
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but... the battery.
I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky.
There's a little left.
I could heat it up.
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you're quite a tennis player.
I'm not much for the game myself.
The ball's a little grabby.
That's where I usually sit.
Right... there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.
You think I don't see what you're doing?
I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we?
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
That's just what
I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
I'm going to drain the old stinger.
Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I've just about had it
with your little mind games.
- What's that?
- Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.
A lot of ads.
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers.
How do you like the smell of flames?!
Not as much.
Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
I've got issues!
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
- You're bluffing.
- Am I?
Surf's up, dude!
Poo water!
That bowl is gnarly.
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don't even like honey!
I don't eat it!
We need to talk!
He's just a little bee!
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
I'm sorry about all that.
I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
I couldn't overcome it.
Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers...
Yeah.
Layton, you've
gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over.
Don't worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.
- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship
to that woman?
We're friends.
- Good friends?
- Yes.
How good? Do you live together?
Wait a minute...
Are you her little...
...bedbug?
I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
doesn't your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
- Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!
- Oh, Barry...
- Yes, they are!
Hold me back!
You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?
He's denouncing bees!
Don't y'all date your cousins?
- Objection!
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don't! It's what he wants!
Oh, I'm hit!!
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
Order! Order!
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
You see? You can't treat them
like equals! They're striped savages!
Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way!
- Adam, stay with me.
- I can't feel my legs.
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.
I...
I blew the whole case, didn't I?
It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died.
I'd be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there's
a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can't explain it. It was all...
All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I'm sorry.
I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
I don't know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad.
Adam, they check in,
but they don't check out!
Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?
- Why?
- The smoke.
Bees don't smoke.
Right. Bees don't smoke.
Bees don't smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
That's it! That's our case!
It is? It's not over?
Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result,
we don't make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about...
Your Honor,
haven't these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion.
But you can't! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It's a bee smoker!
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
This couldn't hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked,
"Smoking or non?"
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
- What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees!
Vanessa, we won!
I knew you could do it! High-five!
Sorry.
I'm OK! You know what this means?
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
Now we won't have
to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
You'll regret this.
Barry, how much honey is out there?
All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
- What if Montgomery's right?
- What do you mean?
We've been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,
every last drop.
We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
We're all aware
of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out.
He'll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he'll be fine.
And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames...
But it's just a prance-about stage name!
...unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products
and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan't breathe.
Bring it in, boys!
Hold it right there! Good.
Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there's gallons more coming!
- I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We've never shut down.
Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir!
What do we do now?
Oannonball!
We're shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
Adam, you wouldn't believe
how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What's going on? Where is everybody?
- Are they out celebrating?
- They're home.
They don't know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
At least we got our honey back.
Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?
It's the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now...
Now I can't.
I don't understand
why they're not happy.
I thought their lives would be better!
They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
Honey really changes people.
You don't have any idea
what's going on, do you?
- What did you want to show me?
- This.
What happened here?
That is not the half of it.
Oh, no. Oh, my.
They're all wilting.
Doesn't look very good, does it?
No.
And whose fault do you think that is?
You know, I'm gonna guess bees.
Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn't think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.
It's notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That's our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
And then, of course...
The human species?
So if there's no more pollination,
it could all just go south here,
couldn't it?
I know this is also partly my fault.
How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
- I'll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.
Right, right.
Listen, Barry...
sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk.
Vanessa?
Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
They've moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
It's the last chance
I'll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
I know. Me neither.
Tournament of Roses.
Roses can't do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
Roses!
Vanessa!
Roses?!
Barry?
- Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.
Flowers, bees, pollen!
I know.
That's why this is the last parade.
Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?
Oould you slow down?
Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
Yes, it kind of is.
I've ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.
I've made it worse.
Actually, it's completely closed down.
I thought maybe you were remodeling.
But I have another idea, and it's
greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don't want to hear it!
All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they've got
back here with what we've got.
- Bees.
- Park.
- Pollen!
- Flowers.
- Repollination!
- Across the nation!
Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They've got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
Security will be tight.
I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It's real.
Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.
Thank you. It was a gift.
Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea?
I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
Yes, I got it.
- Where should I sit?
- What are you?
- I believe I'm the pea.
- The pea?
It goes under the mattresses.
- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I'm getting the marshal.
You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
Let's see what this baby'll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do
is blend in with traffic...
...without arousing suspicion.
Once at the airport,
there's no stopping us.
Stop! Security.
- You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.
Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes?
- Remove your stinger.
- It's part of me.
I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
Then if we're lucky, we'll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It's got to work.
Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
It looks like we'll experience
a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They'll never make it.
I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
Be careful.
Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
I'd like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.
- What'd you say, Hal?
- Nothing.
Bee!
Don't freak out! My entire species...
What are you doing?
- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
- Who's an attorney?
Don't move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One's bald, one's in a boat,
they're both unconscious!
- Is that another bee joke?
- No!
No one's flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What's your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome.
I'm a florist from New York.
Where's the pilot?
He's unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
- Who's that?
- Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
It's got giant wings, huge engines.
I can't fly a plane.
- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!
We're headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory...
That's Barry!
...is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute.
There's a bee on that plane.
I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
They've done enough damage.
But isn't he your only hope?
Technically, a bee
shouldn't be able to fly at all.
Their wings are too small...
Haven't we heard this a million times?
"The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense."
- Get this on the air!
- Got it.
- Stand by.
- We're going live.
The way we work may be a mystery to you.
Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.
But let me tell you about a small job.
If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.
More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.
That's why I want to get bees
back to working together.
That's the bee way!
We're not made of Jell-O.
We get behind a fellow.
- Black and yellow!
- Hello!
Left, right, down, hover.
- Hover?
- Forget hover.
This isn't so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
Barry, what happened?!
Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.
- That may have been helping me.
- And now we're not!
So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
All of you, let's get
behind this fellow! Move it out!
Move out!
Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!
Don't have to yell.
I'm not yelling!
We're in a lot of trouble.
It's very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!
It's not a tone. I'm panicking!
I can't do this!
Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!
You snap out of it.
You snap out of it.
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
- Hold it!
- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.
How is the plane flying?
I don't know.
Hello?
Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?
The Pollen Jocks!
They do get behind a fellow.
- Black and yellow.
- Hello.
All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop.
Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?
No, nothing. It's all cloudy.
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Wait a minute.
I think I'm feeling something.
- What?
- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.
Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
Bring the nose down.
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
- What in the world is on the tarmac?
- Get some lights on that!
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
- Vanessa, aim for the flower.
- OK.
Out the engines. We're going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?
Affirmative!
Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.
Land on that flower!
Ready? Full reverse!
Spin it around!
- Not that flower! The other one!
- Which one?
- That flower.
- I'm aiming at the flower!
That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower
made of millions of bees!
Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
Rotate around it.
- This is insane, Barry!
- This's the only way I know how to fly.
Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?
Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!
Just drop it. Be a part of it.
Aim for the center!
Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
Oome on, already.
Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!
- Yes. No high-five!
- Right.
Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?
What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!
- Thank you.
- But we're not done yet.
Listen, everyone!
This runway is covered
with the last pollen
from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.
That means this is our last chance.
We're the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.
If we're gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?
Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?
We're bees!
Keychain!
Then follow me! Except Keychain.
Hold on, Barry. Here.
You've earned this.
Yeah!
I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That's our Barry.
Mom! The bees are back!
If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time.
I got a feeling we'll be
working late tonight!
Here's your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who's next?
Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.
And I don't see a nickel!
Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I'm sorry.
Have you got a moment?
Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I'm late.
He's a lawyer too?
I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.
Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can't get them anywhere.
No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.
You're a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who's next?
All right, scramble, jocks!
It's time to fly.
Thank you, Barry!
That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
- When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.
- Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.
You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.
- Thinking bee!
- Me?
Hold it. Let's just stop
for a second. Hold it.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?
I'm not making a major life decision
during a production number!
All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
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