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You might ask how I combined this directly Atheistical thought with my Occultist fancies. They had only this in common, that both made ''against'' Christianity. And so, little by little I became an apostate, dropping my faith. Dear Miss C. had been the occasion of much good to me as well as of evil. Nor would I deny that in all her 'Higher Thought,' disastrous though its main effect on me was, there were elements of real and disinterested spirituality by which I benefited. <ref>''Ibid.''</ref></div>
You might ask how I combined this directly Atheistical thought with my Occultist fancies. They had only this in common, that both made ''against'' Christianity. And so, little by little I became an apostate, dropping my faith. Dear Miss C. had been the occasion of much good to me as well as of evil. Nor would I deny that in all her 'Higher Thought,' disastrous though its main effect on me was, there were elements of real and disinterested spirituality by which I benefited. <ref>''Ibid.''</ref></div>
Losing his mother at such a young age, combined with the distant personality of his father and his apparent loneliness throughout his school years, his adolescent rejection of religion becomes easier to understand, qualified by the adult Lewis when he later described his young self as being (paradoxically) "''very angry with God for not existing''".<ref>''Ibid.''</ref>
He left Cherbourg House in the summer of 1913 and enrolled at Malvern College (which he called "Wyvern") where he studied until June 1914.
He left Cherbourg House in the summer of 1913 and enrolled at Malvern College (which he called "Wyvern") where he studied until June 1914.