Zionism
Vin Diesel (AKA New Moses) grew up in Fellatio, Indiana, and contrary to rumors who believe him a gay porn star, he is not in illiterate. However, Vin Diesel does not read in the conventional sense. Rather, the words form gladiators in his mind, drawing on the powers of their respective meanings, and fight to the death until only the strongest remain in an arena of fire. Most females consider Vin Diesel attractive but if you look closely you will realise that he is actually a god. It is further proved that Vin Diesel is a god since the front of the blockbuster movie Shaving Ryan's Privates proclaims 'This Navy Seal Has Met His Match' and only pronouns describing His Holiness the Lord can be capitalized. Such was his godliness that he beat Dungeons and Dragons by staring at the Player's Handbook for an hour. It quietly shuffled off and killed all the monsters.
See also