English language

English is a language a lot of Americans are unaware originally comes from England. It was brought to what is now the US and A by Christopher Columbus, who was Spanish and didn't speak a word of English. However, he brought a Spanish-English dictionary with him just in case the 'savages' across the seas spoke English.

According to Pocahontas' diary, her half-brother Nigel stole the dictionary from Columbus and set up a network of schools to teach everyone who turned up English, just to annoy Columbus, who was trying hard to make the accepted language Spanish. Nevertheless, it is very likely Nigel is turning in his grave now that Spanish is slowly becoming the national language of the US and A, thanks to the people of Latin America emigrating to it (and bringing much-needed culture).

People from the US and A often have a hard time telling Australians, South Africans and British people apart because they all speak English, though with quite different accents. American English is also different to normal English (from England, which is spoken in all English-speaking countries except the US and A) in the spelling of certain words, which everybody outside the US and A considers to be rather unpleasant and wrong. This is attributed by most scholars to Nigel's dyslexia. His constantly snotty nose is also blamed for the American accent, which can only be described as piercingly nasal in sound.