Conservative
A conservative adheres to principles of theocracy, personal responsibility and brainwashed moral virtue. He (we of course use the word he, and not something less specific and less sexist, because we are patriarchal warmongers, with the war being on womyn.) agrees with the statement in George Washington's Farewell Address that "religion and morality are indispensable supports" to political prosperity. We ignore the piece in the constitution that seperates religion from government. We probably tell ourselves to sleep at night that we are just doing what the American people want, when really, we just want oil and power. [1]
A conservative relies more on the application of reason rather than personal whim. Oh, I'm sorry, did I say reason? I meant bias and unfounded beliefs that we imagine to come from the bible. Deep down inside, we know that the bible actually teaches people to love, accept, and strive for peace. However, we ignore this, because the truth makes it hard for us to dominate all walks of life. Conservatives oppose collectivism and emphasize equal opportunity rather than equal results. Conservatives support a complete right of self-defense both on an individual level and for our nation as a whole.
Many conservatives hold a strong libertarian conviction in the belief that the state should not interfere with the economy, gun control, and the redistribution of wealth. A majority also believe that the state should legislate and control issues like abortion, homosexuality, and drugs.
Every 20-60 years a conservative is elected president of the United States. Examples include:
George Washington
James Monroe
Grover Cleveland
Warren G. Harding
Ronald Reagan
George W. Bush