Sean Hannity

Sean Patrick Hannity (born December 30, 1961) is an American hero, and a genius of our time. He has single-handedly saved America time and time again. Why he has not been elected president is a mystery beyond all human recognition. On a regular occasion he has been known to murder heathen abortion doctors and hunt and destroy illegal aliens and homosexuals for the glory of the motherland. His tears can cure lymphoma, and his urine is considered poison to communists. He is a paragon of integrity surpassing even god himself, and is thought to be the human incarnation of the Norse god Thor. He will personally hunt and kill all the gays, liberals, feminists, union workers, illegal aliens, and free-thinking individuals in existence with his mighty iron fist.