Conversational skills
Conversational skills involve keeping a conversation going and it is something of an art - which many people seem to lack.[1]
Contents
Key principles of conversational skills
Key principles of conversation skills include:[2]
1. Conversation is a two-way street
2. Be friendly and polite (Build rapport, be nice, avoid contentious conversations on first acquaintance). See also: Building Rapport, Mindtools.com
3. Respond to what the other person or persons are saying. See: Listening skills
4. Use signaling to help the other person such as open-ended and close-ended questions (‘Signals’ show the other person that it is their turn to talk).
5. Create emotional connections (Relationship building, empathy, sharing appropriate information, etc.)
6. Be interested and you will be interesting
Building strong personal relationships
- Building and maintaining healthy relationships, HealthDirect
- Building and Sustaining Relationships Building and Sustaining Relationships, University of Kansas
- Top tips on building and maintaining healthy relationships, Mental Health Foundation
- Building and maintaining relationships, Milne Library
Building strong work relationships
- How to build real relations at work, Harvard Business Review
How to improve conversational skills
Articles and videos:
- These 4 simple conversation hacks will make you more memorable and likable
- The Art of Small Talk: 8 tips for improving your conversation skills, Toastmasters International
- How To Practice Conversation Skills: 6 Actionable Tips
- 9 Tips and Ideas On How To Improve Conversation Skills
- Stress-Free Small Talk
- The Art of Conversation — A Guided Tour of a Neglected Pleasure
- How to End a Conversation
- Social skills as the road to character
- How to increase conversational skills, AI
- How to have superb conversational skills, AI
Workplace related:
- 14 Conversational Skills You Can Easily Learn and Apply at Work
- 7 Ways To Improve Conversational Skills in the Workplace
Videos:
- Conversation skills - video playlist, video playlist
- Small talk skills - video playlist, video playlist
- Speaking skills - video playlist, video playlist
Affability
See also: Affability and Friendship
Affability is a virtue and the "quality of being pleasantly easy to approach and talk to; friendliness or warm politeness".[4]
The Dominican Friars website article The Friendliness Called Affability indicates:
| “ | It seems a certain nastiness is becoming increasingly common in the way we deal with those who are not our closest friends. From public figures whose words and actions are broadcast on television, to squabbles in comment sections of online posts, to even the face-to-face interactions of social life, we see more and more records of hostility, anger, violence, and vitriol. Our consciences naturally recoil from this vice – as well they should – but what exactly is the virtue that opposes it?
In the Summa Theologica, Part II-II, Question 114, St. Thomas Aquinas speaks of a certain virtue which is commonly translated as “the friendliness which is called affability.” This friendliness, he notes, governs relationships between people because “it behooves man to be maintained in a becoming order towards other men as regards their mutual relations with one another, in point of both deeds and words, so that they behave towards one another in a becoming manner.” It does not only govern those relationships which are intimate or proximate; rather “Every man is naturally every man's friend by a certain general love; even so it is written (Ecclesiasticus 13:19) that ‘every beast loveth its like.’” This does not mean that everyone must be treated with equal intimacy – some people are connected to us by a closer bond than others – but that there is a minimum affability or common decency which is owed to all persons.[5] |
” |
The Dominican Friars website article The Life of Virtue – Affability notes:
| “ | Humans are social creatures. We are linked by our common humanity to every person by a special general friendship. As St. Thomas says “we are naturally every man’s friend”.
This special virtue of Friendliness is, however, not necessarily about affection. It is about behaving in a becoming manner. Of course there are different degrees of intimacy and behaviour: a relationship with a stranger is very different to that with a friend of longstanding years; likewise our friendly behaviour in a library is very different to friendly behaviour at a dinner party. Nevertheless the common friendship should underline all our social interactions. When we practise this virtue it obliges us to live in an agreeable manner. When we practise this virtue we bring a little bit of joy, we make life pleasant for others. As Aristotle points out “no one could abide a day with the sad, nor with the joyless”. St. Thomas shows that the special virtue of Friendliness is part of justice. Whilst this might seem strange, we each owe one other a natural debt. We are obliged by a natural equity to be pleasant, amicable and friendly, due to the social nature of humanity. It can be a difficult virtue to practise but it helps us to flourish both morally and within society.[6] |
” |
Books
- How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders by Dale Carnegie, Simon & Schuster; Updated edition (May 17, 2022)
- Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards. Portfolio (April 25, 2017)
- Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication by Vanessa Van Edwards. Portfolio (March 1, 2022)
See also
References
- ↑ Conversational Skills
- ↑ Conversational Skills
- ↑ Listening skills
- ↑ Affability
- ↑ The Friendliness Called Affability, Dominican Friars
- ↑ The Life of Virtue – Affability, Dominican Friars website
