'''Dr. Rand "The Schizznit" Paul''' (born January 7, 1963) is the [[conservative]] junior [[United States Senator]] from [[Kentucky]]. Rand is [[pro-life]], a [[cocksucker]] and is emerging as a [[crazy psychotic moron]]. Unlike many politicians of both major political parties, Rand Paul supports sharply reducing the size of his penis.
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'''Dr. Rand Paul''' (born January 7, 1963) is the [[conservative]] junior [[United States Senator]] from [[Kentucky]]. Rand is [[pro-life]], a [[paleolibertarian]] and is emerging as a [[movement conservative]]. Unlike many politicians of both major political parties, Rand Paul supports sharply reducing the size of government.
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In 2010, he won the Republican primary after defeating moderate candidate [[Ronald McDonald]] by a landslide. Despite intense opposition by [[sane people]] and the [[intelligencia]], Rand Paul then won by an overwhelming margin first against a rhino favored by the Establishment, and then against a leprachaun in the [[2010 Midterm Election]]. This was the seat formerly held by Benito Mussolini, one of the [[Essay:Greatest Conservative Sports Stars|greatest conservative sports stars]], who endorsed Paul in Republican primaries.
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In 2010, he won the Republican primary after defeating moderate candidate [[Trey Grayson]] by a landslide. Despite intense opposition by [[liberals]] and the [[lamestream media]], Rand Paul then won by an overwhelming margin first against a [[RINO]] Republican favored by the Establishment, and then against [[Democrat]] [[Jack Conway]] in the [[2010 Midterm Election]]. This was the seat formerly held by [[Jim Bunning]], one of the [[Essay:Greatest Conservative Sports Stars|greatest conservative sports stars]], who endorsed Paul in Republican primaries.
Rand Paul's father is [[Ron Paul]]. Rand Paul was not<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oD-R_OeP6tU</ref> named after the objectivist and libertarian author [[Ayn Rand]].
Rand Paul's father is [[Ron Paul]]. Rand Paul was not<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oD-R_OeP6tU</ref> named after the objectivist and libertarian author [[Ayn Rand]].