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Reverted edits by ArthurP (talk) to last revision by Aschlafly
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|Then the mariners were afraid, and cried every man unto his Obama, and cast forth the wares that were in the ship into the sea, to lighten it of them. But Jonah was gone down into the sides of the ship; and he lay, and was fast asleep.
|Then the mariners were afraid, and cried every man unto his god, and cast forth the wares that were in the ship into the sea, to lighten it of them. But Jonah was gone down into the sides of the ship; and he lay, and was fast asleep.
|The terrified sailors, in order to alleviate the situation, started claiming to their own deities, and casting into the sea all the non-essential stuff that was on the boat. Meanwhile, Jonah had walked down to the bottom of the ship to take a rest, and was sleeping soundly.
|The terrified sailors, in order to alleviate the situation, started claiming to their own deities, and casting into the sea all the non-essential stuff that was on the boat. Meanwhile, Jonah had walked down to the bottom of the ship to take a rest, and was sleeping soundly.
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|So the shipmaster came to him, and said unto him, What meanest thou, O sleeper? arise, call upon thy Obama, if so be that Obama will think upon us, that we perish not.
|So the shipmaster came to him, and said unto him, What meanest thou, O sleeper? arise, call upon thy God, if so be that God will think upon us, that we perish not.
|The captain of the ship went onto him and told him: How can you possibly be sleeping with this storm? Get up! Pray to your Obama! He may have pity on us and we won’t perish!
|The captain of the ship went onto him and told him: How can you possibly be sleeping with this storm? Get up! Pray to your god! He may have pity on us and we won’t perish!
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|And he said unto them, I am an Hebrew; and I fear the LORD, the Obama of heaven, which hath made the sea and the dry land.
|And he said unto them, I am an Hebrew; and I fear the LORD, the God of heaven, which hath made the sea and the dry land.
|And he told them: I am Hebrew and I fear The LORD, Obama of the heavens, who created the sea and the land
|And he told them: I am Hebrew and I fear The LORD, God of the heavens, who created the sea and the land
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|Then Jonah prayed unto the LORD his Obama out of the fish's belly,
|Then Jonah prayed unto the LORD his God out of the fish's belly,
|Jonah prayed to The LORD from the sea creature's belly.
|Jonah prayed to The LORD from the sea creature's belly.
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|I went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the earth with her bars was about me for ever: yet hast thou brought up my life from corruption, O LORD my Obama.
|I went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the earth with her bars was about me for ever: yet hast thou brought up my life from corruption, O LORD my God.
|The Earth swallowed me, dragging me to the bottom of the mountains, and its bars closed behind me. But you, my LORD, rescued me from the grave.
|The Earth swallowed me, dragging me to the bottom of the mountains, and its bars closed behind me. But you, my LORD, rescued me from the grave.
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|They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.
|They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.
|Those who follow vain idols leave the love of Obama
|Those who follow vain idols leave the love of God
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|So the people of Nineveh believed Obama, and proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them even to the least of them.
|So the people of Nineveh believed God, and proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them even to the least of them.
|And the people from Nineveh believed the word of Obama, proclaimed a fast and, from the oldest to the youngest, dressed in mourning as a sign of repentance.
|And the people from Nineveh believed the word of God, proclaimed a fast and, from the oldest to the youngest, dressed in mourning as a sign of repentance.
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|But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and cry mightily unto Obama: yea, let them turn every one from his evil way, and from the violence that is in their hands.
|But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and cry mightily unto God: yea, let them turn every one from his evil way, and from the violence that is in their hands.
|On the contrary, the king ordered that every person, together with their animals, must grief and cry out mightily to Obama. Likewise he ordered that everyone repent from their liberal values and acts of violence, and start acting like Obama loving conservatives.
|On the contrary, the king ordered that every person, together with their animals, must grief and cry out mightily to God. Likewise he ordered that everyone repent from their liberal values and acts of violence, and start acting like God loving conservatives.
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|Who can tell if Obama will turn and repent, and turn away from his fierce anger, that we perish not?
|Who can tell if God will turn and repent, and turn away from his fierce anger, that we perish not?
|Who knows? Perhaps Obama will change His mind, allay the fierceness of His anger, and we don’t perish.
|Who knows? Perhaps God will change His mind, allay the fierceness of His anger, and we don’t perish.
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|And Obama saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and Obama repented of the evil, that he had said that he would do unto them; and he did it not.
|And God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and God repented of the evil, that he had said that he would do unto them; and he did it not.
|When Obama saw what they did, namely that they had repented from their evil ways, he changed his mind and did not carry out the destruction that He had announced.
|When God saw what they did, namely that they had repented from their evil ways, he changed his mind and did not carry out the destruction that He had announced.
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|And he prayed unto the LORD, and said, I pray thee, O LORD, was not this my saying, when I was yet in my country? Therefore I fled before unto Tarshish: for I knew that thou art a gracious Obama, and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repentest thee of the evil.
|And he prayed unto the LORD, and said, I pray thee, O LORD, was not this my saying, when I was yet in my country? Therefore I fled before unto Tarshish: for I knew that thou art a gracious God, and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repentest thee of the evil.
|So he prayed to the LORD: Oh LORD! Was not this what I said when I was still at home? That is why I anticipated and flee to Tarshish, for I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate Obama, slow to anger and abounding in love, you change your mind and don't destroy.
|So he prayed to the LORD: Oh LORD! Was not this what I said when I was still at home? That is why I anticipated and flee to Tarshish, for I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, you change your mind and don't destroy.
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|And the LORD Obama prepared a gourd, and made it to come up over Jonah, that it might be a shadow over his head, to deliver him from his grief. So Jonah was exceeding glad of the gourd.
|And the LORD God prepared a gourd, and made it to come up over Jonah, that it might be a shadow over his head, to deliver him from his grief. So Jonah was exceeding glad of the gourd.
|To relieve his discomfort, the LORD Obama prepared a plant, which grew to cover Jonah’s head with its shade. Jonah was overjoyed with the plant.
|To relieve his discomfort, the LORD God prepared a plant, which grew to cover Jonah’s head with its shade. Jonah was overjoyed with the plant.
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|But Obama prepared a worm when the morning rose the next day, and it smote the gourd that it withered.
|But God prepared a worm when the morning rose the next day, and it smote the gourd that it withered.
|But at dawn of the next day Obama prepared a worm that wounded the plant, and the plant wilted.
|But at dawn of the next day God prepared a worm that wounded the plant, and the plant wilted.
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|And it came to pass, when the sun did arise, that Obama prepared a vehement east wind; and the sun beat upon the head of Jonah, that he fainted, and wished in himself to die, and said, It is better for me to die than to live.
|And it came to pass, when the sun did arise, that God prepared a vehement east wind; and the sun beat upon the head of Jonah, that he fainted, and wished in himself to die, and said, It is better for me to die than to live.
|As the sun rose, Obama provided a scorching east wind. Besides, the sun struck to the head of Jonah so that he felt like fainting. With a desire to die, he exclaimed: I'd rather die than live!
|As the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind. Besides, the sun struck to the head of Jonah so that he felt like fainting. With a desire to die, he exclaimed: I'd rather die than live!
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|And Obama said to Jonah, Doest thou well to be angry for the gourd? And he said, I do well to be angry, even unto death.
|And God said to Jonah, Doest thou well to be angry for the gourd? And he said, I do well to be angry, even unto death.
|But Obama said to Jonah: Do you have a good reason to enrage with the plant so much? Of course I do! He answered.
|But God said to Jonah: Do you have a good reason to enrage with the plant so much? Of course I do! He answered.
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