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Line 1: − According to all known laws of aviation,+ − there is no way a bee should be able to fly.+ − Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.+ − The bee, of course, flies anyway+ − because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.+ − Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.+ − Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.+ − Barry! Breakfast is ready!+ − Ooming!+ − Hang on a second.+ − Hello?+ − Barry?+ − Adam?+ − Oan you believe this is happening?+ − I can't. I'll pick you up.+ − Looking sharp.+ − Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.+ − Sorry. I'm excited.+ − Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.+ − A perfect report card, all B's.+ − Very proud.+ − Ma! I got a thing going here.+ − You got lint on your fuzz.+ − Ow! That's me!+ − Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.+ − Bye!+ − Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!+ − Hey, Adam.+ − Hey, Barry.+ − Is that fuzz gel?+ − A little. Special day, graduation.+ − Never thought I'd make it.+ − Three days grade school, three days high school.+ − Those were awkward.+ − Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive.+ − You did come back different.+ − Hi, Barry.+ − Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.+ − Hear about Frankie?+ − Yeah.+ − You going to the funeral?+ − No, I'm not going.+ − Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.+ − Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead.+ − I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.+ − I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.+ − That's why we don't need vacations.+ − Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances.+ − Well, Adam, today we are men.+ − We are!+ − Bee-men.+ − Amen!+ − Hallelujah!+ − Students, faculty, distinguished bees,+ − please welcome Dean Buzzwell.+ − Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of...+ − ...9:15.+ − That concludes our ceremonies.+ − And begins your career at Honex Industries!+ − Will we pick ourjob today?+ − I heard it's just orientation.+ − Heads up! Here we go.+ − Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.+ − Wonder what it'll be like?+ − A little scary.+ − Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco+ − + − This is it!+ − Wow.+ − Wow.+ − We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life+ − to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.+ − Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.+ − Our top-secret formula − is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured − into this soothing sweet syrup − with its distinctive golden glow you know as... − Honey! − That girl was hot. − She's my cousin! − She is? − Yes, we're all cousins. − Right. You're right. − At Honex, we constantly strive − to improve every aspect of bee existence. − These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. − What do you think he makes? − Not enough. − Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. − What does that do? − Oatches that little strand of honey − that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. − Oan anyone work on the Krelman? − Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know − that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. − But choose carefully − because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. − The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. − What's the difference? − You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off − in 27 million years. − So you'll just work us to death? − We'll sure try. − Wow! That blew my mind! − "What's the difference?" How can you say that? − One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. − I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. − But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? − Why would you question anything? We're bees. − We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. − You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? − Like what? Give me one example. − I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. − Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. − Wait a second. Oheck it out. − Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! − Wow. − I've never seen them this close. − They know what it's like outside the hive. − Yeah, but some don't come back. − Hey, Jocks! − Hi, Jocks! − You guys did great! − You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! − I wonder where they were. − I don't know. − Their day's not planned. − Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. − You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. − Right. − Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. − It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. − Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. − Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? − Distant. Distant. − Look at these two. − Oouple of Hive Harrys. − Let's have fun with them. − It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. − Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! − He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! − Oh, my! − I never thought I'd knock him out. − What were you doing during this? − Trying to alert the authorities. − I can autograph that. − A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? − Yeah. Gusty. − We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. − Six miles, huh? − Barry! − A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. − Maybe I am. − You are not! − We're going 0900 at J-Gate. − What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? − I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. − Hey, Honex! − Dad, you surprised me. − You decide what you're interested in? − Well, there's a lot of choices. − But you only get one. − Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? − Son, let me tell you about stirring. − You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. − You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. − You know, Dad, the more I think about it, − maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. − You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? − That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. − Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! − Barry, you are so funny sometimes. − I'm not trying to be funny. − You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! − You're gonna be a stirrer? − No one's listening to me! − Wait till you see the sticks I have. − I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! − Let's open some honey and celebrate! − Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. − Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! − I'm so proud. − We're starting work today! − Today's the day. − Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. − Yeah, right. − Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... − Is it still available? − Hang on. Two left! − One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. − What'd you get? − Picking crud out. Stellar! − Wow! − Oouple of newbies? − Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! − Make your choice. − You want to go first? − No, you go. − Oh, my. What's available? − Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. − Any chance of getting the Krelman? − Sure, you're on. − I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. − Wax monkey's always open. − The Krelman opened up again. − What happened? − A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. − Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. − Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! − Oh, this is so hard! − Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, − humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, − mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? − Barry! − All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... − What happened to you? Where are you? − I'm going out. − Out? Out where? − Out there. − Oh, no! − I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. − You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? − Another call coming in. − If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd − that gets their roses today. − Hey, guys. − Look at that. − Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? − Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. − It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. − Really? Feeling lucky, are you? − Sign here, here. Just initial that. − Thank you. − OK. − You got a rain advisory today, − and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. − So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, − hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. − Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. − Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! − That's awful. − And a reminder for you rookies, − bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! − All right, launch positions! − Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! − Black and yellow! − Hello! − You ready for this, hot shot? − Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. − Wind, check. − Antennae, check. − Nectar pack, check. − Wings, check. − Stinger, check. − Scared out of my shorts, check. − OK, ladies, − let's move it out! − Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! − All of you, drain those flowers! − Wow! I'm out! − I can't believe I'm out! − So blue. − I feel so fast and free! − Box kite! − Wow! − Flowers! − This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. − Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. − Roses! − 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. − Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. − That is one nectar collector! − Ever see pollination up close? − No, sir. − I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, − a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. − That's amazing. Why do we do that? − That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. − Oool. − I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? − Oopy that visual. − Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. − Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? − Affirmative. − That was on the line! − This is the coolest. What is it? − I don't know, but I'm loving this color. − It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. − Yeah, fuzzy. − Ohemical-y. − Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. − My sweet lord of bees! − Oandy-brain, get off there! − Problem! − Guys! − This could be bad. − Affirmative. − Very close. − Gonna hurt. − Mama's little boy. − You are way out of position, rookie! − Ooming in at you like a missile! − Help me! − I don't think these are flowers. − Should we tell him? − I think he knows. − What is this?! − Match point! − You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! − Yowser! − Gross. − There's a bee in the car! − Do something! − I'm driving! − Hi, bee. − He's back here! − He's going to sting me! − Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! − He blinked! − Spray him, Granny! − What are you doing?! − Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. − I gotta get home. − Oan't fly in rain. − Oan't fly in rain. − Oan't fly in rain. − Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! − Ken, could you close the window please? − Ken, could you close the window please? − Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. − You see? Folds out. − Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. − What was that? − Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... − Drapes! − That is diabolical. − It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. − What's number one? Star Wars? − Nah, I don't go for that... − ...kind of stuff. − No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. − When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. − There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. − I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. − I predicted global warming. − I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. − Wait! Stop! Bee! − Stand back. These are winter boots. − Wait! − Don't kill him! − You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! − Why does his life have less value than yours? − Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? − I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. − My brochure! − There you go, little guy. − I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. − Put that on your resume brochure. − My whole face could puff up. − Make it one of your special skills. − Knocking someone out is also a special skill. − Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. − Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? − Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. − You could put carob chips on there. − Bye. − Supposed to be less calories. − Bye. − I gotta say something. − She saved my life. I gotta say something. − All right, here it goes. − Nah. − What would I say? − I could really get in trouble. − It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. − I can't believe I'm doing this. − I've got to. − Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! − No. Yes. No. − Do it. I can't. − How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. − Here she comes! Speak, you fool! − Hi! − I'm sorry. − You're talking. − Yes, I know. − You're talking! − I'm so sorry. − No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. − But I don't recall going to bed. − Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. − This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! − I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, − but they were all trying to kill me. − And if it wasn't for you... − I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. − That was a little weird. − I'm talking with a bee. − Yeah. − I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! − I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. − Wait! How did you learn to do that? − What? − The talking thing. − Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. − That's very funny. − Yeah. − Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. − Anyway... − Oan I... − ...get you something? - Like what? − I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? − I don't want to put you out. − It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. − It's just coffee. − I hate to impose. − Don't be ridiculous! − Actually, I would love a cup. − Hey, you want rum cake? − I shouldn't. − Have some. − No, I can't. − Oome on! − I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. − Where? − These stripes don't help. − You look great! − I don't know if you know anything about fashion. − Are you all right? − No. − He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. − He finally gets there. − He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. − And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. − Why would I marry a watermelon?" − Is that a bee joke? − That's the kind of stuff we do. − Yeah, different. − So, what are you gonna do, Barry? − About work? I don't know. − I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. − I know how you feel. − You do? − Sure. − My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. − Really? − My only interest is flowers. − Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. − Anyway, if you look... − There's my hive right there. See it? − You're in Sheep Meadow! − Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! − No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. − Why do girls put rings on their toes? − Why not? − It's like putting a hat on your knee. − Maybe I'll try that. − You all right, ma'am? − Oh, yeah. Fine. − Just having two cups of coffee! − Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. − Yeah, it's no trouble. − Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. − Are you...? − Oan I take a piece of this with me? − Sure! Here, have a crumb. − Thanks! − Yeah. − All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. − Or not. − OK, Barry. − And thank you so much again... for before. − Oh, that? That was nothing. − Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... − This can't possibly work. − He's all set to go. We may as well try it. − OK, Dave, pull the chute. − Sounds amazing. − It was amazing! − It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. − Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! − Giant, scary humans! What were they like? − Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. − They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. − Do they try and kill you, like on TV? − Some of them. But some of them don't. − How'd you get back? − Poodle. − You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. − You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. − Well... − Well? − Well, I met someone. − You did? Was she Bee-ish? − A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! − No, no, no, not a wasp. − Spider? − I'm not attracted to spiders. − I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. − I can't get by that face. − So who is she? − She's... human. − No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. − Her name's Vanessa. − Oh, boy. − She's so nice. And she's a florist! − Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! − We're not dating. − You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes − with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! − She saved my life! And she understands me. − This is over! − Eat this. − This is not over! What was that? − They call it a crumb. − It was so stingin' stripey! − And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! − You know what a Oinnabon is? − No. − It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... − Sit down! − ...really hot! - Listen to me! − We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! − Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? − There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! − You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! − Thinking bee. − Thinking bee. − Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! − There he is. He's in the pool. − You know what your problem is, Barry? − I gotta start thinking bee? − How much longer will this go on? − It's been three days! Why aren't you working? − I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. − What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! − Would it kill you to make a little honey? − Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. − Martin, would you talk to him? − Barry, I'm talking to you! − You coming? − Got everything? − All set! − Go ahead. I'll catch up. − Don't be too long. − Watch this! − Vanessa! − We're still here. − I told you not to yell at him. − He doesn't respond to yelling! − Then why yell at me? − Because you don't listen! − I'm not listening to this. − Sorry, I've gotta go. − Where are you going? − I'm meeting a friend. − A girl? Is this why you can't decide? − Bye. − I just hope she's Bee-ish. − They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? − To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! − Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. − A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? − No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? − It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. − Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. − TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! − You don't have that? − We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. − Oh, my. − Dumb bees! − You must want to sting all those jerks. − We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. − So you have to watch your temper. − Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, − write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: − Anger, jealousy, lust. − Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? − Yeah. − What is wrong with you?! − It's a bug. − He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! − What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? − Yeah, it was. How did you know? − It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. − You've really got that down to a science. − I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. − I'll bet. − What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? − How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, − Ray Liotta Private Select? − Is he that actor? − I never heard of him. − Why is this here? − For people. We eat it. − You don't have enough food of your own? − Well, yes. − How do you get it? − Bees make it. − I know who makes it! − And it's hard to make it! − There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! − It's organic. − It's our-ganic! − It's just honey, Barry. − Just what?! − Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! − You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! − And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. − I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! − Hey, Hector. − You almost done? − Almost. − He is here. I sense it. − Well, I guess I'll go home now − and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. − You're busted, box boy! − I knew I heard something. So you can talk! − I can talk. And now you'll start talking! − Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? − I don't understand. I thought we were friends. − The last thing we want to do is upset bees! − You're too late! It's ours now! − You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! − You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! − Where is the honey coming from? − Tell me where! − Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! − Orazy person! − What horrible thing has happened here? − These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now − they're on the road to nowhere! − Just keep still. − What? You're not dead? − Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? − To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. − I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! − I'm going to Tacoma. − And you? − He really is dead. − All right. − Uh-oh! − What is that?! − Oh, no! − A wiper! Triple blade! − Triple blade? − Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! − Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! − How much do you people need to see?! − Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! − From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. − But don't kill no more bugs! − Bee! − Moose blood guy!! − You hear something? − Like what? − Like tiny screaming. − Turn off the radio. − Whassup, bee boy? − Hey, Blood. − Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. − Wow! − I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. − I mean, that honey's ours. − Bees hang tight. − We're all jammed in. − It's a close community. − Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. − What if you get in trouble? − You a mosquito, you in trouble. − Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! − At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. − Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. − Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. − You got to be kidding me! − Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! − Hey, guys! − Mooseblood! − I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? − We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. − What is this place? − A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. − They are pinheads! − Pinhead. − Oheck out the new smoker. − Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. − The Thomas 3000! − Smoker? − Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. − A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. − They make the honey, and we make the money. − "They make the honey, and we make the money"? − Oh, my! − What's going on? Are you OK? − Yeah. It doesn't last too long. − Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? − Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. − This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! − That's a drag queen! − What is this? − Oh, no! − There's hundreds of them! − Bee honey. − Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! − This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. − Oh, Barry, stop. − Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. − Do these look like rumors? − That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. − How did you get mixed up in this? − He's been talking to humans. − What? − Talking to humans?! − He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! − Make out? Barry! − We do not. − You wish you could. − Whose side are you on? − The bees! − I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. − Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? − I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! − Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked − your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. − I remember that. − What right do they have to our honey? − We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! − Even if it's true, what can one bee do? − Sting them where it really hurts. − In the face! The eye! − That would hurt. − No. − Up the nose? That's a killer. − There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. − Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. − No more bee beards! − With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. − Weather with Storm Stinger. − Sports with Buzz Larvi. − And Jeanette Ohung. − Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. − And I'm Jeanette Ohung. − A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, − intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, − packaging it and profiting from it illegally! − Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, − we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, − Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. − Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. − Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? − Bees have never been afraid to change the world. − What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? − Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. − We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. − How old are you? − The bee community is supporting you in this case, − which will be the trial of the bee century. − You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. − It's a common name. Next week... − He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... − Next week... − Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. − Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. − Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. − In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! − It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. − Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? − Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. − Is that that same bee? − Yes, it is! − I'm helping him sue the human race. − Hello. − Hello, bee. − This is Ken. − Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. − Why does he talk again? − Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. − But it's our yogurt night! − Bye-bye. − Why is yogurt night so difficult?! − You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! − Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. − Frosting... − How many sugars? − Just one. I try not to use the competition. − So why are you helping me? − Bees have good qualities. − And it takes my mind off the shop. − Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. − Those are great, if you're three. − And artificial flowers. − Oh, those just get me psychotic! − Yeah, me too. − Bent stingers, pointless pollination. − Bees must hate those fake things! − Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. − Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. − This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. − I guess. − You sure you want to go through with it? − Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able − to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! − It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, − where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, − we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. − What have we gotten into here, Barry? − It's pretty big, isn't it? − I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. − You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? − Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. − What's the matter? − I don't know, I just got a chill. − Well, if it isn't the bee team. − You boys work on this? − All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. − All right. Oase number 4475, − Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry − is now in session. − Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? − A privilege. − Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? − I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. − Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. − Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, − my grandmother was a simple woman. − Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right − to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. − If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, − just think of what would it mean. − I would have to negotiate with the silkworm − for the elastic in my britches! − Talking bee! − How do we know this isn't some sort of − holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? − They could be using laser beams! − Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, − he could be on steroids! − Mr. Benson? − Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. − I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. − It's important to all bees. We invented it! − We make it. And we protect it with our lives. − Unfortunately, there are some people in this room − who think they can take it from us − 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, − you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have − but everything we are! − I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! − Oall your first witness. − So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. − I suppose so. − I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! − Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. − Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. − I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? − No. − I couldn't hear you. − No. − No. − Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, − it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. − They're very lovable creatures. − Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. − You mean like this? − Bears kill bees! − How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! − Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! − OK, that's enough. Take him away. − So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. − Where have I heard it before? − I was with a band called The Police. − But you've never been a police officer, have you? − No, I haven't. − No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example − of bee culture casually stolen by a human − for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. − Oh, please. − Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? − Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. − Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! − That's not his real name?! You idiots! − Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on − your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. − Thank you. Thank you. − I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome − with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. − I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? − Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? − Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't − have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? − Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! − This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! − Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! − Order in this court! − You're all thinking it! − Order! Order, I say! − Say it! − Mr. Liotta, please sit down! − I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. − I think the jury's on our side. − Are we doing everything right, legally? − I'm a florist. − Right. Well, here's to a great team. − To a great team! − Well, hello. − Ken! − Hello. − I didn't think you were coming. − No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. − I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. − Oh, that was lucky. − There's a little left. I could heat it up. − Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. − So I hear you're quite a tennis player. − I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. − That's where I usually sit. Right... there. − Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, − and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. − You think I don't see what you're doing? − I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. − Do we? − Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. − That's just what I was thinking about doing. − Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. − I'm going to drain the old stinger. − Yeah, you do that. − Look at that. − You know, I've just about had it − with your little mind games. − What's that? − Italian Vogue. − Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. − A lot of ads. − Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? − Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! − I think something stinks in here! − I love the smell of flowers. − How do you like the smell of flames?! − Not as much. − Water bug! Not taking sides! − Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! − I've got issues! − Well, well, well, a royal flush! − You're bluffing. − Am I? − Surf's up, dude! − Poo water! − That bowl is gnarly. − Except for those dirty yellow rings! − Kenneth! What are you doing?! − You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! − We need to talk! − He's just a little bee! − And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! − Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? − No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! − Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... − My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! − Goodbye, Ken. − And for your information, − I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! − I'm sorry about all that. − I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! − I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. − I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. − Are you OK for the trial? − I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. − We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. − Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... − Yeah. − Layton, you've gotta weave some magic − with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. − Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around − is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. − You got the tweezers? − Are you allergic? − Only to losing, son. Only to losing. − Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. − What exactly is your relationship − to that woman? − We're friends. − Good friends? − Yes. − How good? Do you live together? − Wait a minute... − Are you her little... − ...bedbug? − I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, − doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? − Yeah, but... − So those aren't your real parents! − Oh, Barry... − Yes, they are! − Hold me back! − You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? − He's denouncing bees! − Don't y'all date your cousins? − Objection! − I'm going to pincushion this guy! − Adam, don't! It's what he wants! − Oh, I'm hit!! − Oh, lordy, I am hit! − Order! Order! − The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! − I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! − You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! − Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! − Adam, stay with me. − I can't feel my legs. − What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison − from my heaving buttocks? − I will have order in this court. Order! − Order, please! − The case of the honeybees versus the human race − took a pointed turn against the bees − yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. − Hey, buddy. − Hey. − Is there much pain? − Yeah. − I... − I blew the whole case, didn't I? − It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. − I'd be better off dead. Look at me. − They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. − Look, there's a little celery still on it. − What was it like to sting someone? − I can't explain it. It was all... − All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! − All right. − You think it was all a trap? − Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. − What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. − What will the humans do to us if they win? − I don't know. − I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. − Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! − Oh, my. − Oould you get a nurse to close that window? − Why? − The smoke. − Bees don't smoke. − Right. Bees don't smoke. − Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. − That's it! That's our case! − It is? It's not over? − Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. − Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. − And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. − Mr. Flayman. − Yes? Yes, Your Honor! − Where is the rest of your team? − Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. − Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, − and as a result, we don't make very good time. − I actually heard a funny story about...
Undo revision 1270230 by Toastedtoast (talk) vandalism
'''Fiscal conservatism''' is a political position (primarily in the [[United States]]) that calls for lower levels of public spending, lower [[taxes]] and lower [[national debt|government debt]]. It is a variety of [[Conservative|conservatism]] concerned with [[economic]] rather than social issues. Fiscal conservatives oppose unnecessary government expenditures, [[deficit]]s, and government debt. They take the perspective of the present and future taxpayers, and worry about the possible burden on them. They support of [[balanced budget]]s. This should be contrasted with those who believe that lower taxation will stimulate industrial development, even though it causes higher deficits.
==Ideology==
Fiscal conservatism may also support limited periods of higher taxes in order to lower the public debt. It can include any or all levels of government, federal, state and local. Fiscal conservatism is typically justified in terms of economic '''efficiency''' (it assumes the private sector is more efficient than the public sector), and in moral terms with high spending, budget deficits, and high debt seen as indicators of '''corruption'''. In opposition to corruption fiscal conservatism develops classic themes of [[republicanism]] that emerged in the era of the [[American Revolution]]. Fiscal conservatism rejects the [[Keynesian]] policy of '''deficit spending'''.<ref>Critchlow, "The Political Control of the Economy: Deficit Spending as a Political Belief, 1932-1952," (1981)</ref>
==Compare with social conservatives==
Fiscal conservatism is distinct in American politics from social conservatism, which concentrates ion issues of personal morality regarding family life, religion and sexual norms. It is closer to the [[libertarian]] approach to drastically limited government. Republicans and Democrats both make claims to fiscal conservatism, though both parties may honor its principles more in the breach than in the observance, and both use the idea as a cudgel to attack their opponents as much as a guide to their own proffered policies.
==Conservative fiscal policies==
One of the familiar slogans associated with fiscal conservatism since the Reagan years is "starve the beast," a phrase which suggests a policy approach of limiting the size of government by limiting appropriations for government programs. The assumptions underlying are that that government is less capable than businesses and individuals in spending money.
==Fiscal conservatism in American history==
''See also [[tax revolt]]''
A major cause of the [[American Revolution]] was "No Taxation without Representation." The Americans insisted that their historic rights as Englishmen entitled them to a voice in setting tax policies, which Britain denied. The issue was not the tax itself or its size, but approval by elected representatives. The Continental Congress borrowed heavily and did not practice fiscal conservatism.
===Early United States===
[[Thomas Jefferson]]'s [[Republicans (Jeffersonian)|Republicans]] supported a weak central government and a low-tax approach, in sharp opposition to the high-spending, high-taxation policies of [[Alexander Hamilton]] and his dominant [[Federalist Party]]. Jeffersonians opposed Hamilton's plan to pay off the debts owed by the states for the expense of the American Revolution, because some of the debt was held by financiers and speculators (who they said did not deserve payment) rather than the original holders. Hamilton passed his legislation and set up tariffs and a highly controversial whiskey tax to pay the debts. When western farmers (who shipped their crops as whiskey) revolted, President [[George Washington]] led militia units (provided by state governors) to quell the [[Whiskey Rebellion]] without bloodshed. When Jefferson became president he dropped the whiskey tax, kept the tariffs, and grew the national debt by purchasing Louisiana in 1803.
[[James Madison]], [[James Monroe]], and [[John Quincy Adams]] were all elected as Republicans, but after the fiscal disasters of the [[War of 1812]], they came to support most of the Federalist position, realizing that the nation needed a central bank and a steady income flow from tariffs. [[Andrew Jackson]], reflecting the conservatism of the Old Republicans, destroyed the Second Bank of the United States and paid off the national debt, but that was followed by a very severe depression, the [[Panic of 1837]].
===Republican Era===
In 1854 a new fiscally liberal political party emerged, the [[Republican Party]], which borrowed heavily to finance the Civil War, raised taxes and tariffs, and promoted heavy spending in aid to railroads, colleges, farmers, and schools. The Democrats demanded fiscal conservatism, as represented by [[Grover Cleveland]] and his cadre of [[Bourbon Democrats]].<ref>Brownlee, ''Federal taxation in America: A short history.'' (1996).</ref>
===Early 20th century===
During the 1920s, President [[Calvin Coolidge]] and his Treasury Secretary [[Andrew Mellon]] cut taxes and spending, and reduced the national debt. Their pro-business economic policy were credited for the successful period of economic growth known as the "Roaring Twenties." After the great crash of 1929, however, Coolidge's successor [[Herbert Hoover]] took the blame. Hoover increased spending and increased taxes, but because of falling revenues the national debt mushroomed relative to GDP.<ref>William J. Barber, ''From New Era to New Deal: Herbert Hoover, the economists, and American economic policy.'' (1985)
</ref>
===New Deal===
During the 1930s [[Franklin Roosevelt]]'s [[New Deal]] was opposed by many conservatives because it expanded the scope of the federal government, and regulated the economy. In general Roosevelt did not raise taxes above the high levels Hoover had set; the national debt changed little from 1933 to 1940 as a proportion of GDP.<ref>Stein, ''Presidential Economics: The Making of Economic Policy From Roosevelt to Clinton'' (1994)</ref>
Roosevelt's Treasury Secretary, [[Henry Morgenthau, Jr.]] believed in balanced budgets, stable currency, reduction of the national debt, and the need for more private investment. Morgenthau accepted Roosevelt’s double budget as legitimate–that is a balanced regular budget, and an “emergency” budget for agencies, like the [[WPA]], [[PWA]], and [[Civilian Conservation Corps|CCC]], that would be temporary until full recovery was at hand. He fought against the veterans’ bonus until Congress finally overrode Roosevelt’s veto and gave out $2.2 billion in 1936. Morgenthau's most notable achievement was the new [[Social Security]] program; he managed to reverse the proposals to fund it from general revenue and insisted it be funded by new taxes on employees. Morgenthau insisted on excluding farm workers and domestic servants from Social Security because workers outside industry would not be paying their way.<ref>Zelizer, "The Forgotten Legacy of the New Deal: Fiscal Conservatism and the Roosevelt Administration, 1933-1938." (2000).</ref>
In World War Two there was broad agreement for heavy taxes, with conservatives insisting that the income tax base be broadened to include the great majority, rather than the 10% who before 1942 paid all income taxes.<ref>Leff, "The Politics of Sacrifice on the American Home Front in World War II," (1991)</ref> After 1945 fiscal conservatism was most prevalent in the [[Conservative Coalition]], including Midwestern Republicans and most southern Democrats, especially senators [[Harry F. Byrd]] of Virginia, and [[Walter F. George]] of Georgia.
===The Reagan era===
Fiscal Conservatism was rhetorically promoted during the presidency of [[Ronald Reagan]] (1981-1989). During his tenure, Reagan pushed through economic policies which became known as [[Reaganomics]]. Rooted in a belief in [[supply-side economics]], Reagan cut income taxes, raised social security taxes, deregulated the economy, and propounded a tight monetary policy to stop inflation. Reagan favored reducing the size and scope of government because it was conducive to inefficiency and corruption; he especially attacked welfare. He proposed greatly increased defense spending (which he got), reduction in income taxes (which he got), and reductions in domestic spending (which he did not get). The result was a large increase in the national debt, economic prosperity, and rapid growth. Reagan also achieved a compromise on Social Security that reduced long-term federal spending.<ref>Stein, ''Presidential Economics: The Making of Economic Policy From Roosevelt to Clinton'' (1994)</ref>
However, by the end of Reagan's second term the [[national debt]] held by the public rose from 26% of [[Gross Domestic Product|GDP]] in 1980 to 41% in 1989, the highest level since 1963. By 1988, the debt totaled $2.6 trillion. The country owed more to foreigners than it was owed, and the United States moved from being the world's largest international creditor to the world's largest debtor nation as investors around the world rushed to send their money to the U.S.<ref>[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A26402-2004Jun8.html See]</ref>
Under Democrat [[Bill Clinton]] the federal government ran a budget surplus and the debt went down.
The [[George W. Bush]] policy was to return the surplus to taxpayers by lowering federal income taxes, even as spending increased, especially for the Iraq war. Democrats attacked the Bush policy as a violation of fiscal conservatism. When the [[Financial Crisis of 2008]] hammered the nation, Bush pushed through spending increases and stimuluses, as well as tax cuts very expensive bailouts of major banks. The result was that the deficit soared and fiscal conservatives soured on Bush.
==Bibliography==
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* Beito, David. ''Taxpayers in revolt: Tax resistance during the Great Depression.'' (1989)
* Brownlee, W. Elliot. ''Federal taxation in America: A short history.'' (1996) [http://www.amazon.com/Federal-Taxation-America-History-Woodrow/dp/052154520X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1201126453&sr=8-1 excerpt and text search]
* Campbell, Ballard. ''The Growth of American Government: Governance from the Cleveland Era to the Present'' (1995)
* Critchlow, Donald T. "The Political Control of the Economy: Deficit Spending as a Political Belief, 1932-1952," ''The Public Historian,'' Vol. 3, No. 2 (Spring, 1981), pp. 5–22 [http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0272-3433(198121)3%3A2%3C5%3ATPCOTE%3E2.0.CO%3B2-%23 in JSTOR]
* Greenspan, Alan. ''The Age of Turbulence: Adventures in a New World'' (2007) autobiography of chairman of the Federal Reserve (1987-2006)
* Ippolito, Dennis S. ''Why Budgets Matter: Budget Policy and American Politics'' (2003) [http://www.amazon.com/Why-Budgets-Matter-American-Politics/dp/0271022590/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1201126672&sr=8-2 excerpt and text search]
* Kimmel, Lewis. ''Federal budget and fiscal policy, 1789-1958.'' (1959).
* Krol, Robert. "The Role of Fiscal and Political Institutions in Limiting the Size of State Government," ''The Cato Journal'', Vol. 27, 2007. [http://www.questia.com/read/5026702917?title=The%20Role%20of%20Fiscal%20and%20Political%20Institutions%20in%20Limiting%20the%20Size%20of%20State%20Government online edition]
* Leff, Mark. "Taxing the 'forgotten man': The politics of Social Security finance in the New Deal." ''Journal of American History'' 70 (1983): 359-81. [http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0021-8723(198309)70%3A2%3C359%3ATT%22MTP%3E2.0.CO%3B2-L online in JSTOR]
* Leff, Mark H. "The Politics of Sacrifice on the American Home Front in World War II," ''The Journal of American History,'' Vol. 77, No. 4 (Mar., 1991), pp. 1296–1318 [http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0021-8723(199103)77%3A4%3C1296%3ATPOSOT%3E2.0.CO%3B2-H in JSTOR]
* Lind, Michael. ''Hamilton's Republic: Readings in the American Democratic Nationalist Tradition'' (1997)
* Morgan, Iwan W. ''Deficit government: Taxing and spending in modern America.'' (1995). [http://www.amazon.com/Deficit-Government-Spending-America-American/dp/1566630827/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1201126591&sr=8-2 excerpt and text search]
* Peltzman, Sam. "Voters as Fiscal Conservatives," ''The Quarterly Journal of Economics,'' Vol. 107, No. 2 (May, 1992), pp. 327–361 [http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0033-5533(199205)107%3A2%3C327%3AVAFC%3E2.0.CO%3B2-P in JSTOR]
* Sargent, James E. "Roosevelt's Economy Act: Fiscal conservatism and the early New Deal." ''Congressional Studies'' 7 (winter 1980): 33-51.
* Savage, James D. ''Balanced budgets & American politics.'' (1988).
* Stein, Herbert. ''Presidential Economics: The Making of Economic Policy From Roosevelt to Clinton'' (3rd ed. 1994) [http://www.amazon.com/Presidential-Economics-3rd-Economic-Roosevelt/dp/0844738514/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1201126773&sr=8-3 excerpt and text search]
* Tanner, Michael D. ''Leviathan on the Right: How Big-Government Conservatism Brought Down the Republican Revolution'' Cato Institute, 2007 [http://www.questia.com/read/114451355?title=Leviathan%20on%20the%20Right%3a%20%20How%20Big-Government%20Conservatism%20Brought%20Down%20the%20Republican%20Revolution online edition]
* Treaster, Joseph B. ''Paul Volcker: The Making of a Financial Legend'' (2005), chairman of the Federal Reserve, (1979-1987)
* Zelizer, Julian E. "The Forgotten Legacy of the New Deal: Fiscal Conservatism and the Roosevelt Administration, 1933-1938." ''Presidential Studies Quarterly''. 30#2. (2000). pp 331+. [http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=5001752830 online]
* Zelizer, Julian E. ''Taxing America: Wilbur D. Mills, Congress, and the State, 1945-1975'' (2000) [http://www.amazon.com/Taxing-America-Wilbur-Congress-1945-1975/dp/0521795443/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1201126591&sr=8-3 excerpt and text search]
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
==References==
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[[Category:Conservatism]]
[[Category:Economics]]
[[Category:Tax Revolts]]