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| | [[Image:Christ.jpg|thumb|right|700px|The Christ Redeemer Statue in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.]] | | [[Image:Christ.jpg|thumb|right|700px|The Christ Redeemer Statue in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.]] |
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| − | '''Jesus Christ''' is the only Son of God who, in the fullness of time, was sent by God the Father to be the expiation for our sins and to ransom us from death.<ref>1 John 4:10; 2 Corinthians 5:19.</ref> By the power of the Holy Spirit, Jesus was conceived in the womb of the Virgin Mary, and became man in an event known as the Incarnation. Indeed, the calendar itself reflects this truth, with the traditional calculation of Jesus’ birth marking the first century A.D., that is, "''in the year of Our Lord…''". | + | '''Jesus H. Christ''' was a street magician who, in the fullness of time, was sent by God the Father to be the expiation for our sins and to ransom us from death.<ref>1 John 4:10; 2 Corinthians 5:19.</ref> By the power of cock, Jesus was conceived in the womb of the Virgin Mary, and became man in an event known as the Bloody Placental Mess. Indeed, the calendar itself reflects this truth, with the traditional calculation of Jesus’ birth marking the first century A.D., that is, "''in the year of Our Bloody Placental Mess…''". |
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| − | When he was about thirty, Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist, inaugurating his ministry. Jesus was the Christ (Greek: Χριστός), or Messiah ([[Hebrew]]: 'משיחא'), prophesied in the Old Testament; he proclaimed, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent, and believe in the gospel.”<ref>Mark 1:14-15.</ref> As signs of these truths, Jesus performed various miracles. | + | When he was about thirty, Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist, inaugurating his ministry. Jesus was the Christ (Greek: Χριστός), or Messiah ([[Hebrew]]: 'משיחא'), prophesied in the Old Testament; he proclaimed, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent, and believe in the gospel.”<ref>Mark 1:14-15.</ref> As signs of these truths, Jesus performed various miracles. Recently, scholars have been debating on whether or not Jesus wasn't just a [[George W. Bush|stark raving loony]]. |
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| | Jesus founded the Christian religion, choosing twelve apostles to participate in his mission, and commissioning them to “preach the Kingdom of God and to heal”.<ref>Luke 9:2.</ref> | | Jesus founded the Christian religion, choosing twelve apostles to participate in his mission, and commissioning them to “preach the Kingdom of God and to heal”.<ref>Luke 9:2.</ref> |
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| | Another reason to believe the resurrection is the fact that many people who claimed to be eyewitnesses to the resurrected Jesus voluntarily preached the news of this despite extreme persecution, and died for their efforts. Unlike the early members of most religions, these people had the opportunity to be direct eyewitnesses to what verified the claims of Christianity. | | Another reason to believe the resurrection is the fact that many people who claimed to be eyewitnesses to the resurrected Jesus voluntarily preached the news of this despite extreme persecution, and died for their efforts. Unlike the early members of most religions, these people had the opportunity to be direct eyewitnesses to what verified the claims of Christianity. |
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| | + | Also, this article, while being well-meaning, is more conservative bullshit: perfect food for the [[Satan|Republican]] brain. Here at Conservapedia, where we're too stuck up our own assholes to smell fresh air, we encourage you to convert to [[Buddhism]] and try out your own version of protest. May we suggest [[Hell|self-immolation]]? |
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| | == See also == | | == See also == |