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Sometimes known as the '''Dead Parrot Sketch''', this is one of the most popular sketches and is arguably one of the most famous in the history of British television comedy [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/4052641.stm].

Sometimes known as the '''Dead Parrot Sketch''', this is one of the most popular sketches and is arguably one of the most famous in the history of British television comedy [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/4052641.stm].

In it a customer, played by [[John Cleese]], and a shopkeeper [[Michael Palin]], are discussing the earthly status of a parrot sold previously in the shop. Pain is arguing that the parrot is alive, but  merely "having a kip" (sleeping), or  is "shagged out after a long squark". Cleese is not convinced and argues vociferously that the parrot, is, in fact, completely dead.

In it a customer, played by Cleese, and a shopkeeper (Palin), are discussing the earthly status of a parrot sold previously in the shop. Pain is arguing that the parrot is alive, but  merely "having a kip" (sleeping), or  is "shagged out after a long squark". Cleese is not convinced and argues vociferously that the parrot, is, in fact, completely dead.

Soon after Palin claims that the parrot's lack of movement is due to the parrot "pining for the fjords", the sketch builds to a climax with a diatribe from Cleese who in the following excerpt, uses almost every available [[euphemism]] for death in the English language:  

Soon after Palin claims that the parrot's lack of movement is due to the parrot "pining for the fjords", the sketch builds to a climax with a diatribe from Cleese who in the following excerpt, uses almost every available [[euphemism]] for death in the English language:  

===The LumberJack Song===

===The LumberJack Song===

The sketch appears in various different forms, but each time, it starts with a man who expresses discontent with his current job. On some occasions this is the owner of the pet shop in [[The Parrot Shop Sketch]] (normally [[Michael Palin]]), who starts by saying: "I didn't want to do this job. I wanted to be a lumberjack!"  

The sketch appears in various different forms, but each time, it starts with a man who expresses discontent with his current job. On some occasions this is the owner of the pet shop in The Parrot Shop Sketch, who starts by saying: "I didn't want to do this job. I wanted to be a lumberjack!"  

He then proceeds to sing  a song which glorifies the life of a lumberjack, and paints a picture of rugged masculinity: "Leaping from tree to tree", "With my best girl by my side".  As the song continues, the lumberjack begins to reveal some less than rugged tendencies: "I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers, I put on women's clothing, and hang around in bars", which begins to distress the girl at his side. In the final verse, Palin confesses that he likes to "... wear high heels, suspenders and a bra", and wishes that he "...had been a girlie, just like my dear papa!"

He then proceeds to sing  a song which glorifies the life of a lumberjack, and paints a picture of rugged masculinity: "Leaping from tree to tree", "With my best girl by my side".  As the song continues, the lumberjack begins to reveal some less than rugged tendencies: "I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers, I put on women's clothing, and hang around in bars", which begins to distress the girl at his side. In the final verse, Palin confesses that he likes to "... wear high heels, suspenders and a bra", and wishes that he "...had been a girlie, just like my dear papa!"

===Cheese Shop===

===Cheese Shop===

This consists of a customer [[John Cleese]] (whose real name, coincidentally is ''Cheese'', not ''Cleese''), wishing to purchase "some cheesy comestibles" from the "stout yeoman" or cheese shop proprietor, [[Michael Palin]]. The humour of the sketch rests upon the frustration that Cleese encounters as he asks Palin about the availablility of different kinds of cheeses. In every case, Palin comes up with excuses as to why that particular variety of chees is not in stock. Excuses range from: "The van only comes on a Thursday", "It's too runny" to  "The cat's got it". Cleese tries every known type of cheese including Venezuelan beaver cheese, finally giving up and asking for [[Cheddar]]. Of course, Palin does not have this in stock, saying "There's no call for it".

This consists of a customer (Cleese) wishing to purchase "some cheesy comestibles" from the "stout yeoman" or cheese shop proprietor (Palin). The humour of the sketch rests upon the frustration that Cleese encounters as he asks Palin about the availablility of different kinds of cheeses. In every case, Palin comes up with excuses as to why that particular variety of chees is not in stock. Excuses range from: "The van only comes on a Thursday", "It's too runny" to  "The cat's got it". Cleese tries every known type of cheese including Venezuelan beaver cheese, finally giving up and asking for [[Cheddar]]. Of course, Palin does not have this in stock, saying "There's no call for it".

The denouement of the sketch is that Cleese gets so frustrated that he shoots Palin, saying "What a futile waste of human life."

The denouement of the sketch is that Cleese gets so frustrated that he shoots Palin, saying "What a futile waste of human life."