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Line 1: − + − The '''Jesuits''' (also known as the '''Society of Jesus''' or the '''Society of Hitmen against Institutional Tawdriness''', which was later shortened to the Society of Hitmen against Institutions) are a [[Roman Catholic]] religious order known for fanatical devotion to any cause other than that of the [[Pope|Holy Father's]]. Colloquially, they go by many pseudonyms, including the Black Assassins and the Spanish Housewives' Association (a name procured during Spanish oppression of the order in the 1940s, which has since stuck). Reliable estimates for the total amount of members of the order are fleeting at best, but best guesses state that there may be at least 15,000 Black Assassins working for the good of the Catholic Church throughout the globe. Their work is primarily based in [[education]], striving ultimately to replace papal [[Mind Control|mind-control]] with their own. + − Due to Huangian time distortion, many sources mention that the Society of Jesus was founded by [[Ignatius of Loyola]]. This is patently untrue, and stemmed from a plan concocted by Jesuit Emperor Fed Acker Huang to shift blame away from himself.+ − Jesuits are supremely powerful superhumans, [[Immortal]], and capable of elemental space and time control. Jesuits are invulnerable to all attacks except for those derived from other Jesuits.+ + − Their focus on education has made them famous in the realm of academia and higher learning. Their most famous institutes of higher learning are [[Invisible College]] in England and [[Wheeling Jesuit University]] in the United States. Other minor colleges include '''St. Andrew's Mercenary Vocational School''' and a super-secret culinary arts school located on the [[Moon]].+ − ==Foundation==+ + + − In the aftermath of the death of [[Jesus]] in [[0]] A.D., soon to be Immortal Jesuit Emperor [[Fed Acker Huang]] and several other conspirators "felt bad" for letting the [[Jews]] get the credit for killing off He who was arguably one of the best superheroes of all time. Fearing repraisal from superhero legislation organisations like the Bureau for the Protection of Superhero Rights, Fed Acker Huang relented by founding what was, on paper, to be an organisation dedicated to the protection of post-humans who wished to be a part of a Christian religious order. In 57 A.D., Fed Acker Huang and his disciples founded the Society of Jesus, named after the superhero they had conspired against. However, it would take five years to get the pope drunk enough to sign an edict officially recognising the status of the Jesuits as an order. Church historians usually prefer to not delve into the pope's [[AAAAAAAAA!|verbal reaction]] having discovered this trickery.+ − Unfortunately for the pope, the Jesuits were largely protected by the Bureau for the Protection of Superhero Rights (who had had previous run-ins with the prevailing religious organisations of the time, including defending the personal rights of superheroes like [[Moses]] and Pythagoras), meaning that their survival was ensured during the group's teething staging. Within fifty years, the number of Jesuits had increased from twelve to four hundred.+ − ==Expansion==+ − In 471 A.D., Immortal Jesuits Father Cobble and Father Wasp were stumbling out of a pub after several rounds of [[Alky-hol|drinks]] when the latter made a bet with Cobble that he could have the Jesuits declared illegal by the end of the week. Father Cobble took the bet, and Wasp set out to, in his words "make the pope cry in his sleep". In what would become known as the first '''Awesome Jesuit Conspiracy''', Wasp travelled to [[Rome]] and introduced [[MTV|mind-control hallucinogens]] into the great city's water supply, causing two-thirds of Rome's population to come under his control. Wasp picked the name '''Puppet Master''' and telepathically commanded Caesar Tiberius Ridiculus into declaring "free for all shrimp weekend" at his palace, effectively bankrupting the already lacklustre Roman economy. Then, in a brilliant move, Puppet Master sold SCUD missiles to Gallic tribes, who used them to penetrate Rome's defences, ultimately causing the fall of Rome in 476 A.D. − Puppet Master then sent an email to the pope, belittling the pontiff for not realising that the Jesuits were behind the fall of the great city (some names that Puppet Master used to address the pope included "[[fat|fatty]]", "[[idiot]]", and "[[arseface]]"). Enraged, the pope declared the Jesuits to be an illegal organisation that Friday night, earning Puppet Master twenty quid from Father Cobble. − Other Jesuits were very much amused by this game, as were other immortals who were not yet a part of the Jesuits. From this point on, causing the pope to wet himself with rage became the official pasttime of the Jesuits, and membership increased fifty-fold within the hundred years after the fall of the [[Roman Empire]]. − + − Jesuits are known for their world conspiracies. Some of the best known ones include:+ − + − + − + − + − + − + − + − + − + − + − + − ==Membership==+ − Membership to the order is usually restricted to immortal beings with a strong sense of Catholicity (but not devotion to the pope) and superpowers. In many cases, however, the Jesuits have selected hapless laypeople as servants for their bidding. Membership can also be obtained through generous donations to the Society.+ − {{Unwanted Jesii}}+ − [[Category:Religion]]+ − [[Category:Catholicism]]+ − [[Category:Cults]] − [[Category:Conspiracies]] − [[Category:Three Main Weapons of the Spanish Inquisition]][[Category:Medieval]] − [[Category:Wheeling Jesuit University/Groups|*Society of Jesus]]
gotta be your own words-- can't cut and paste
[[Image:Il Gesu.jpg|thumb|right|Il Gesu, Motherchurch of the Society of Jesus, Rome.]]
[[Image:Il Gesu.jpg|thumb|right|Il Gesu, Motherchurch of the Society of Jesus, Rome.]]
'''The Society of Jesus''' (Spanish: La Compañía de Jesús).
'''The Society of Jesus''' (Spanish: La Compañía de Jesús). A [[Christian]] religious order of the [[Catholic]] Church founded by [[Ignatius of Loyola|Saint Ignatius of Loyola]] on August 15, 1534, to defend Catholicism against the Reformation and to do missionary work among the heathen. This religious order is better known by the name "Jesuits" ("Soldiers of [[Christ]]"). The Order is the largest of men in the Catholic Church. It has presence is 112 nations on six continents with over 20,000 members, working in the fields of education, intellectual research, cultural pursuits, missionary work, human rights and social justice. It founded many schools in the US, including Fordham University in the Bronx, New York, Loyola University Chicago and Georgetown University in Washington, D. C. In the world it has about 56 university centers and 400,000 students, 28 Jesuit universities and colleges in the United States.
Ignatius of Loyola wrote the Jesuit Constitutions, which created a tightly centralized organization and stressed absolute self-abnegation and obedience to Pope. Jesuits do not have an official habit.
<center> '''For God's greater glory'''
''Christ as the model of human life.''
</center>
== Spiritual Exercises ==
The spirituality practiced by the Jesuits, called ''[http://home.mira.net/~ics/whoare.htm Ignatian spirituality]'', is based on the Catholic faith and the [[Gospels]]. The purpose of St. Ignatius's "Spiritual Exercises" is to conquer oneself and to regulate one's life, based solely on the discern of God's will, who is ever active in people's lives.
<center> ''"The goal of our life is to live with God forever. God who loves us, gave us life. Our own response of love allows God's life to flow into us without limit... Our only desire and our one choice should be this: I want and I choose what better leads to the deepening of God's life in me."''
</center>
== The Sacred Heart and Our Lady ==
The Order has a commitment to spread the devotion to the [[Sacred Heart]] and to Our Lady, the [[Virgin Mary]].
==Jesuits Today==
== Distinguished Jesuits ==
*'''Ignatius Loyola''';
*Starting the Thirty Years' War
*Francis Xavier;
*Ending the Thirty Years' War
*Francis Borgia;
*Burying super-secret treasure stashes and leaving clues in major works of art
*Stanislaus Kostka;
*Inventing geometry
*Alfonso Rodriguez;
*Raising [[Hitler]] into power
*Juan de Castillo;
*Starting [[communism]]
*John Berchmans;
*Ending [[communism]]
*John Francis Regis;
*Stealing Japanese technology for American use
*Peter Claver;
*Stealing American women for Japanese use
*Francis de Geronimo;
*Ending the world (currently a work in progress)
*Paul Miki, John Goto, James Kisai, Japanese martyrs (1597)
*Peter Canisius;
*North American Martyrs: Isaac Jogues, Anthony Daniel, John de Brébeuf, Gabriel Lalemant, Charles Garnier, Noel Chabanel (priests), and Rene Goupil and John Lalande (lay missionaries);
*Robert Bellarmine,
*Andrew Bobola;
*Edmund Campion, English martyr.
*Teilhard de Chardin, French paleontologist and spiritual writer.
== See also ==
== See also ==