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God’s servants – I abjure you! Stop jawboning and moaning, and gird up your loins and fill the space under this entry and all the others with some reasonable attempt at scholarship and even-handedness! Lest this sacred project remain not a global resource but a laughing-stock and an accusation.  As it stands, if a pinko wished to argue for the ascendancy of the Liberal Left over God’s people, then in Zen monk style he need only gesture mutely toward the Scopes article here and to its counterpart in Wikipedia as if to say: “Choose then, which would you rather for your child, fathers and mothers, this or the other?” And such an accuser could repeat the same with entry after entry, page after page, theme after theme. Is there a single item in Conservapedia, as it stands at the moment, of which it could fairly be claimed that the material therein would provide more intellectual and spiritual nourishment for a young mind on the quest for knowledge than would its counterpart in Wikipedia? And how comes such a thing to pass? Who is pouring sand down our throats that we cannot speak, and who is cursing our hand with palsy that it cannot write? Is it the Evil One? How is it that Satan’s people dance like dervishes in the wind, while we move like molasses in the snow? And why is this holy barque, the Good Ship Conservapedia, marooned in the Saragossa, where her rigging creaks, and the mates are all below, and they do not write, nor talk, but only grumble?   

God’s servants – I abjure you! Stop jawboning and moaning, and gird up your loins and fill the space under this entry and all the others with some reasonable attempt at scholarship and even-handedness! Lest this sacred project remain not a global resource but a laughing-stock and an accusation.  As it stands, if a pinko wished to argue for the ascendancy of the Liberal Left over God’s people, then in Zen monk style he need only gesture mutely toward the Scopes article here and to its counterpart in Wikipedia as if to say: “Choose then, which would you rather for your child, fathers and mothers, this or the other?” And such an accuser could repeat the same with entry after entry, page after page, theme after theme. Is there a single item in Conservapedia, as it stands at the moment, of which it could fairly be claimed that the material therein would provide more intellectual and spiritual nourishment for a young mind on the quest for knowledge than would its counterpart in Wikipedia? And how comes such a thing to pass? Who is pouring sand down our throats that we cannot speak, and who is cursing our hand with palsy that it cannot write? Is it the Evil One? How is it that Satan’s people dance like dervishes in the wind, while we move like molasses in the snow? And why is this holy barque, the Good Ship Conservapedia, marooned in the Saragossa, where her rigging creaks, and the mates are all below, and they do not write, nor talk, but only grumble?   

Yet we had taken up our Cross when no one commanded it but it was freely given of ourselves, and we set our hand not to rest until we had builded Conservapedia to be a town built on the rock, and surrounded by sweet meadows, bearing fruits of knowledge from all over the World, and not struck by the fly of secularism, nor blasted by the worm of scepticism. Nay, here we had purposed it should grow, to feed the little ones and to be a monument to Learning consistent with the wishes of the Lord, that the Nations may rejoice and see that Scholarship and the Love of Truth is not some franchise vouchsafed only to the Liberal Left. But now we sit and gnash our teeth at an intersection, writing more in Talk pages than we do in that for the entries thereof, and then precious little in full total. And we have amassed entries on the great nations of the world, all as abrupt as telegrams but none so pithy, and the world laughs at us, hardly believing their luck, and their laughter is as the sting of a scorpion. For to date, the sacred Conservapedia project has helped the cause of the Christian Right just as much as Hillary Clinton walking naked down Broadway carrying photos of Abu Ghraib Prison on her head while drinking goats’ blood out of a golden goblet would have helped the cause of the Christian Left. And we have none to blame but ourselves, for verily, it was we ourselves who divested us of our own pantaloons, and we who handed the paddle to them that they may whale us and then some.

Yet we had taken up our Cross when no one commanded it but it was freely given of ourselves, and we set our hand not to rest until we had builded Conservapedia to be a town built on the rock, and surrounded by sweet meadows, bearing fruits of knowledge from all over the World, and not struck by the fly of secularism, nor blasted by the worm of scepticism. Nay, here we had purposed it should grow, to feed the little ones and to be a monument to Learning consistent with the wishes of the Lord, that the Nations may rejoice and see that Scholarship and the Love of Truth is not some franchise vouchsafed only to the Liberal Left. But now we sit and gnash our teeth at an intersection, writing more in Talk pages than we do in that for the entries thereof, and then precious little in full total. And we have amassed entries on the great nations of the world, all as abrupt as telegrams but none so pithy, and the world laughs at us, hardly believing their luck, and their laughter is as the sting of a scorpion. For to date, the sacred Conservapedia project has helped the cause of the Christian Right just as much as Hillary Clinton walking naked down Broadway carrying photos of Abu Ghraib Prison on her head while drinking goats’ blood out of a golden goblet would have helped the cause of the Christian Left. And we have none to blame but ourselves, for verily, it was we ourselves who divested us of our own pantaloons, and we who handed the paddle to them that they may whale us and then some. Myles Paulsen myles325@yahoo.com.au - march 14, 2007 AD