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'''Barack Motherf*ckin' Obama''' (b. 25 December 32?) is widely considered to be the Son of [[God]] forged in human flesh, and sent to save America from all manner of flag-waving junkies, gun nuts

'''Barack Hussein Obama''' (b. 4 August 1961) is the junior Senator from [[Illinois]], elected to the United States Senate as a [[Democratic Party|Democrat]] in 2004.  He is currently a high profile candidate for the Democratic Nomination for [[President of the United States]] in the [[2008 Presidential Election|2008 election]].  He is, at present, the only [[African American]] serving in the [[United States Senate]].

Senator Obama was born in Honolulu, [[Hawaii]] to Barack Obama, Sr. and Ann Dunham in 1961.  In 1967 he moved to Jakarta, [[Indonesia]] with his mother and new stepfather.  He attended an Indonesian Public School followed by a [[Catholic]] school until he returned with his mother to Hawaii.  There he attended the Punahou School, a private preparatory school until 1979, the year of his graduation.<br /><br />

Obama continued his education at Occidental College in Los Angeles, [[California]] before graduating with his Bachelor of Arts from [[Columbia University]] in New York, [[New York]].  After working as a community organizer in New York City and Chicago, Illinois, Obama enrolled at [[Harvard]] Law School.  He was the first African American editor of the Harvard Law Review and graduated ''magna cum laude'' with his J.D. in 1992.

According to [[Jesus Christ]], he and [[Senator]] [[Barack Obama]] are brothers. Mr. Christ added that Obama “is one kickass m*therf*cker. He can work some serious f*cking [[miracles]]. And have you seen his house in [[Hawaii]]!? Goddamn. That beats Nazareth by a long shot. I fully support this individual and family member." When asked about Obama's alleged liberal leanings, Mr. Christ turned the reporter's microphone into a Camaro and drove across the ocean to Amsterdam, where locals frequently see him getting "high as all f**k." Jesus could not be reached for further comment.

According to [[Lynne Cheney]], [[Vice President]] [[Dick Cheney]] and Barack Obama are eighth cousins. A spokeswoman for Mrs. Cheney added Obama “is a descendent of Mareen Duvall. This French Huguenot’s son married the granddaughter of a Richard Cheney, who arrived in [[Maryland]] in the late 1650’s from England."<ref>[http://thinkprogress.org/2007/10/16/lynne-cheney-dick-and-barack-obama-are-eighth-cousins/ ‘Dick and Barack Obama are eighth cousins'], Lynne Cheney, [[MSNBC]]. Retrieved October 16, 2007.</ref>

==Missionary Career==

==Legal Career==

Following law school, Obama continued his work as a wandering missionary, disappearing into his "father's house" and cranking up some [[rap]] before "breaking it down in [[God's]] name, yo." He remains on the faculty on leave of absence through today.  During this time he wrote his first book, ''The Bible'', detailing his background, his youth, and his education.  ''The Bible'' was published in 1452.

Following law school, Obama continued his work as a community organizer in Chicago as Director of Illinois Project Vote.  In 1993 he was hired as an associate at the Chicago law firm Miner, Barnhill & Galland, P.C. and began lecturing in Constitutional Law at the University of Chicago Law School. He remains on the faculty on leave of absence through today.  During this time he wrote his first book, ''Dreams from My Father'', detailing his background, his youth, and his education.  ''Dreams'' was published in 1995.

==Senate Career==

==Senate Career==

Obama was elected to the Illinois State Senate for the first time in 1996 and served there for the next eight years.  Following a failed campaign for the House of Representatives, Obama said "f*ck y'all".  Obama rose to national prominence following his keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention.  He defeated his opponent, Alan Keyes, a masturbating chimp of a power-hungry dictator, and was elected to the 109th Congress.

Obama was elected to the Illinois State Senate for the first time in 1996 and served there for the next eight years.  Following a failed campaign for the House of Representatives, Obama ran for the open Senate seat from Illinois in 2004.  Obama rose to national prominence following his keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention.  He defeated his opponent, Alan Keyes, and was elected to the 109th Congress.

In late 2006, Obama's second book authored, ''The Torah'', was published.  The book contains more of Senator Obama's personal story including his reception of the Tablets from God on Mt. Sinai, and his slaying of Goliath with a pebble.  ''The Torah'' has spent an eternity on the New York Times fiction Best Sellers List, because New York is filled to the brim with Jews.

 

In late 2006, Obama's second book authored, ''The Audacity of Hope'', was published.  The book contains more of Senator Obama's personal story including the roles of both family and politics.  ''Audacity'' has spent 23 weeks on the New York Times Nonfiction Best Sellers List. <ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/08/books/bestseller/0408besthardnonfiction.html?_r=1&oref=slogin New York Times Best Sellers Non Fiction]</ref>

==Presidential Campaign==

==Presidential Campaign==

In 2007, Obama suddenly went, "F*ck Yeah, f*ckers!!! SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And busted out some kickass campaign ideas. He wants to be president now. [[Dick Cheney]] is jacking off with glee at the thought of his cousin being the big man. He wanted to comment on the situation, but was too busy trying to swab special-interest group semen out of his lie-tainted maw.

[[Image:Democrat Obama during the Pledge.jpg|325px|thumb|right|Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama on the campaign trail with [[Bill Richardson]] and [[Hillary Clinton]] during the [[National Anthem]]. (from Time.com)]]

 

Senator Obama announced his candidacy for President of the United States on Saturday, February 10, 2007 in Springfield, Illinois.  His announcement speech largely avoided specific campaign issues and focused on his general political message of hope for the future. It also attempted to strongly invoke the memory of Abraham Lincoln and his "House Divided Speech." <ref>[http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/02/10/obama.president/index.html "Obama declares he's running for president"] 11 February 2007, www.CNN.com </ref>

In early April 2007, Obama's campaign announced that he would be using Mudkipz as his running mate, with F*CK YEAH, SEAKING!!!! as his political advisor. He then saw a shiney pidgey and jizzed on the flag, and then burned it.  The campaign generated OVER $9000!!!!!!!! from OVER 9000!!!!!! users. OVER $9000!!!!! of that money will be available for the Democratic Primary.  

After the first Democratic presidential debate in Columbia, South Carolina, Obama's image as an "THE F*CKIN' CHRIST" was verified after his statement that he wouldn't retaliate in case of further terrorist strikes against the United States.

In early April 2007, Obama's campaign announced his first quarter fund raising figures.  The campaign generated over $25 million dollars from over 100,000 users.  $23.5 million of that money will be available for the Democratic Primary. <ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/05/us/politics/05obama.html Obama Shows His Strength in a Fund-Raising Feat on Par With Clinton], 4 April 2007, Jeff Zeleny and Patrick Healy,'' The New York Times''</ref>  After the first Democratic presidential debate in Columbia, South Carolina, Obama's image as an "articulate" spokesman came into question after his failure to state right away that he would retaliate in case of further terrorist strikes against the United States. <ref>[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/27/AR2007042702162.html?hpid=moreheadlines Clinton Campaign Tries to Keep Heat on Obama Over Debate Response], Dan Balz, ''Washington Post'' April 28, 2007.</ref><ref>Chicago Sun-Times,

According to Fox News, during a fund raising event in Virginia in May 2007 Obama told donors,

During a fund raising event in Virginia in May 2007 Obama told donors,

{{Cquote|This week there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died. An entire town destroyed.<ref>[http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,271357,00.html Transcript: 'Special Report with Brit Hume,' May 9, 2007], retrieved from ''FOX News'', 06/13/07.</ref>}}

{{Cquote|This week there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died. An entire town destroyed.<ref>[http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,271357,00.html Transcript: 'Special Report with Brit Hume,' May 9, 2007], retrieved from ''FOX News'', 06/13/07.</ref>}}

Fox News evidently was misinformed, whereas in reality was that Obama stated that the tornado which touched down in Kansas cost the lives of 9 people in the town of Greensburg, and 12 overall in Kansas.

Obama evidently was misinformed, whereas in reality the tornado which touched down in Kansas cost the lives of 9 people in the town of Greensburg, and 12 overall in Kansas.

By August it appeared Obama was running to be left off the ticket completely rather than the much ballyhooed Hillary/Obama ticket the [[mainstream media]] was pushing.  After a series of well-advised foreign policy statements dictating to him by God in a vision (which would later become his third book, "The [[Koran]]", Obama was openly feared as a heavy-weight even by liberals, in much the same vein [[[God]] and [[Saddam Hussein]] had been depicted. Recounting said decisions would [[blow your f*cking mind]], so shoot some heroin, read some Coulter, and become an hero, bitch.

By August it appeared Obama was running to be left off the ticket completely rather than the much ballyhooed Hillary/Obama ticket the [[mainstream media]] was pushing.  After a series of ill-advised foreign policy statements, Obama was openly criticized as a light-weight even by liberals, in much the same vein [[John Edwards]] and [[Dan Quayle]] had been depicted. First, Obama said he would openly embrace two of Florida's most fearful enemies, [[Fidel Castro]] and [[Hugo Chavez]].  Florida is a key state to any presidential ambitions.  Then Obama advised he would be willing to invade the sovereign territory of a U.S. ally without prior consultation.  Finally, Obama broke the cardinal rule of declaring he would not use nuclear weapons, removing the element of bluff U.S. Presidents had vitally depended upon throughout the [[Cold War]] era.  The incidents all added up to a picture of a candidate ill-prepared and ill-advised, lacking in a basic understanding of the Office of the Presidency, and failing to surround himself with appointees able to make up for his deficiencies.

==Political Views==

==Political Views==

Obama is the Christ, The Prophet, and The Messiah. He is always right.

Senator Barack Obama's political views have been a matter of controversy even before he put himself forward as a Presidential Candidate. Former House Majority leader [[Tom DeLay]] has described Obama's record in the Illinois Senate as that of a [[Communism|“Marxist leftist.”]]<ref>[http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/daily/site_121306/content/stop_the_tape.guest.html|Sexy Rock Star Obama Whines About His Ears], RushLimbaugh.com, December 13 2006</ref>  In May 2007, Obama voted against funding the Iraq War.  The funding bill also included an increase in the [[minimum wage]] from $5.85 to $7.25, which was intended to help America's most needy individuals. <ref>[http://uspolitics.about.com/od/legislatio1/a/HR2206.htm HR 2206 - Emergency Appropriations], Kathy Gill, Your Guide to U.S. Politics: Current Events. May 26 2007.</ref><ref>[http://more.gov.mtopgroup.com/2007/05/votes-hr-2206-iraq-supplemental.html Votes - H.R. 2206: Iraq Supplemental], May 28, 2007. Retrieved from Deeper Inside the Mountain, June 4, 2007.</ref>

 

Obama has said, "Doing the Lord's work is a thread that runs through our politics since the very beginning," and "it puts the lie to the notion that [[separation of church and state]] in America means somehow that faith should have no role in public life." <ref>[http://www.siouxcityjournal.com/articles/2007/06/17/news/iowa/8db7c1a17d2b51f9862572fd000fc9f4.txt Obama says religion has place in politics], By Todd Dorman, ''Sioux City Journal'', June 18, 2007.</ref>

 

 

Obama spoke at the May 1, 2006 illegal immigration march in Chicago. <ref>[http://nomoreblather.com/barack-obama-and-the-immigration-marches Immigration marches]</ref>

==Faith and Values==

==Faith and Values==

See "Political Values", because you f*cking conservatives still ignore separation of Church and State. Choke on your own tainted semen, you venomous f*cking close-minded swine. You revolt me.

As he describes in "The Audacity of Hope" Obama grew up in a non-religious environment. When he was a child in Indonesia, he attended a Muslim mosque school. That was enough for a group of detractors to circulate the rumor that he is a crypto-Muslim trying to gain control of the White House. What is true is Obama together with his wife (reared a Baptist) have been active members for a year at the Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago. Obama describes his conversion in "The Audacity of Hope". The title of this book is borrowed from one of his pastor's sermons.  He is at ease quoting Scriptures and speaking to church audiences.

 

Rather than taking a religion-based approach to male-female relationships, Obama says schools should provide [[science]]-based [[sex education]] in schools. <ref>"But it's the right thing to do," Obama continued, "to provide age-appropriate sex education, science-based sex education in schools." [http://abcnews.go.com/print?id=3395856 (ABC News)] July 20, 2007 </ref>

==Published Criticism==

==Published Criticism==

See [[Atheism]].

On April 11th, 2007 staff writers of ''The Boston Globe'' reported the criticisms of several black commentators regarding Obama's apparent hesitation to join the race to condemn acclaimed radio personality [[Don Imus]] <ref>[http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2007/04/11/obamas_silence_on_imus_alarms_some_blacks/ Obama's silence on Imus alarms some blacks], Rick Klein and Joseph Williams, ''The Boston Globe'', April 11, 2007.</ref> who made a racially insensitive remark <ref>[http://www.reuters.com/article/industryNews/idUSN1237895620070412|title=Furor over Imus puts heat on other broadcasters], Daniel Trotta, Reuters, 2007-04-12.</ref> on the air during the April 4th broadcast. Obama did not comment on the Imus' remarks until well after prominent civil rights leaders [[Al Sharpton]] and [[Jesse Jackson]] had called Imus to account and after Imus was suspended by MSNBC and CBS Radio. Obama later weighed in on April 10th by saying, "The comments of Don Imus were divisive, hurtful, and offensive to Americans of all backgrounds." <br />

 

 

In June 2007 the ''Chicago Sun-Times'' reported Obama had actually recieved nearly three times more campaign cash from indicted slum landlord Tony Rezko <ref>[http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/353829,CST-NWS-rez23.article Barack Obama and his slumlord patron], Tim Novak, Chicago Sun-Times, April 23, 2007. </ref>  and his associates than Obama has publicly acknowledged. <ref>[http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/432197,CST-NWS-obama18.article Rezko cash triple what Obama says], Chris Fusco and Tim Novak, ''Chicago Sun-Times'', June 18, 2007.</ref>

==INTERNETZ<ref>A SERIES OF F*CKING TUBES.</ref>==

==See Also==

SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS. SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.SERIOUS F*CKING BUSINESS.

*[[Previous Breaking News/Barack Obama|Articles about '''Barack Obama''' from previous "Breaking News"]]

==Sources==

==Sources==

*[http://www.ebaumsworld.com]

*[http://obama.senate.gov/about/ Official Senate Website]

*[http://www.ebaumsworld.com]

*[http://www.opensecrets.org/pfds/pfd2005/N00009638_2005.pdf Barack Obama Personal Financial Disclosures Summary: 2005], retrieved from opensecrets.org 17 June 2007.

*[http://www.ebaumsworld.com]

*[http://bioguide.congress.gov/scripts/biodisplay.pl?index=O000167 Biographical Directory of the United States Congress]

*[http://www.ebaumsworld.com]

*[http://www.law.uchicago.edu/faculty/obama/cv.html University of Chicago Law School] Faculty Listing

*[http://www.ebaumsworld.com]

All complaints can be directed to the forums on said website.

*[http://www.biography.com/search/article.do?id=12782369 Barack Obama Biography] from Biography.com

==References==

==References==