6
edits
Changes
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Line 1:
Line 1: − {{Taxonomy|image = cat.jpg|kingdom = Animalia|phylum = Chordata|subphylum = Vertebrata|class = Mammalia|order = Carnivora|family = Felidae|genus = Felis|species = F. silvestris|sub = F. s. catus (Domesticated cat)}}+ − + − '''Cats''' are a group of [[carnivore|carnivorous]] [[mammals]] with sharp [[teeth]] and retractable [[claw]]s (except in the case of the [[cheetah]]) on their paws, originally distributed worldwide apart from [[Australasia]], [[Madagascar]] and [[Antarctica]]. Several of the larger kinds of cat can be dangerous to humans.+ − + − The [[domestic cat]], believed to derive from the [[Africa]]n wildcat, has been used to control [[vermin]] or kept as a pet for thousands of years, and worshiped as a god by the ancient [[Egyptian]]s, amongst others. Today the domestic cat remains extremely popular as a [[pet]]; there are an estimated 76 million pet cats in the [[United States]].+ − + − Species of cat include the [[lion]], [[tiger]], [[leopard]], [[cheetah]], [[jaguar]], [[puma]], [[cougar]], [[ocelot]], [[lynx]], [[caracal]], [[serval]] and many smaller breeds.+ − + − + − + − A '''feral cat''' is a direct descendant of a domestic cat but is untamed and generally frightened of any human contact. A feral cat is usually one that has returned to the wild, foraging for food and living in areas with open space. This is usually as a result of someone abandoning a cat (or cats), some of which are able to survive in the wild and breed, which leads to the establishment of a colony of feral cats. The life of a feral cat is usually difficult, and many do not survive for very long, due to various factors such as having to catch their own food, inadequate shelter from the elements, encounters with other animals ([[skunk]], [[raccoon]], etc) or dogs or other feral cats, dangers from vehicles on roadways, and not receiving medical treatment for illnessess or injuries. Cats as domesticated animals (pets) on average are afforded better care and thus have a better quality of life and longer life spans.+ − + − A ''stray'' cat is a cat that is unowned, but generally accepts [[human]] [[touch]], may take food directly from a human, etc. The terms are often interchangeable, especially in popular usage.+ − + − + − ==External Links==+ − *[http://www.feralcat.com/ Feral Cat Coalition]+ − *[http://www.hsus.org/pets/issues_affecting_our_pets/feral_cats/ Humane Society Info on feral cats]+ − + − *[http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,290840,00.html | FOXNews.com - Oscar the Cat Predicts Nursing Home Deaths]+ − − {{Nb_zl_felines}} − −
no edit summary
[[Image:conservlogo.png|325px|thumb|right|Internet Toilet Paper]]
Toilet paper is [[paper]] specifically designed to remove traces of faeces from the [[human]] lower orifice after [[User:Aschlafly|defecation]]. Toilet paper is designed to decompose in a [[Conservapedia|septic tank]] after use, as opposed to facial [[tissue|tissues]], which are not always by design able to do so.
Toilet paper is known by many names, some of which include "toilet roll", "dunny paper" and "bathroom tissue".
==Ancient Use of Toilet Paper==
Toilet paper has played a large roll in human history, without it, the world would surely have descended into [[Conservapedia|chaos]] long ago. The earliest recorded use (or otherwise) of toilet paper was written by the [[China|Chinese]] scholar, Yan Zhitui during the year 589 AD.
{{Cquote|Paper on which there are quotations or commentaries from Five Classics or the names of sages, I dare not use for toilet purposes}}
==Feral Cats==
Before widespread use of toilet paper, many humans would use less gentle methods such as [[leaves]], [[grass]] or even [[shell|seashells]] to deposit their excess leavings.
==Toilet Paper in the Modern Day==
[[Image:ASchlafly.JPG|thumb|175px|left|The current holder of Guiness World Record's "Most Toilet Paper Consumed" record.]]
With the invention of the [[internet]], toilet paper [[technology]] has advanced dramatically. Whereas in past eras people would wipe their excess [[Conservapedia|excrement]] on sheets of [[paper]], certain [[Conservapedia|websites]] have assumed the same role. While much more convenient, the [[Conservapedia|excrement]] remains in plain sight for all to see, this predicament is known as the "Online [[Conservapedia|Septic Tank]]" issue.
[[Humanity|Select groups]] see this problem as humorous, while at the same time believe the [[Conservapedia|online septic waste]] should be dispatched to the sewer, where it belongs. If left unchecked, it is widely believed that the problem could lead to [[John_McCain|catastrophe]] of [[Great_Flood|biblical proportions]]
==Interesting Notes==
Similar to sightings seen in [[food]] products and [[cloud]] formations, likenesses of the [[Mary|Virgin Mother]] have been seen in used toilet paper. Such sightings are said to fortell great [[User:Aschlafly|mental problems]] to the beholder, as is the same with all sightings regardless of medium.
[[Conservapedia]] is responsible for the decimation of approximately one third of all toilet paper manufacturing in the world. This is largely due to the amount of [[Conservapedia|excrement]] deposited to said site instead of [[god|traditional]] methods of removing excess faeces.
[[Category:Felines]]
[[Category:Domestic Animals]]