4,336
edits
Changes
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
it is a minefield out there! More to follow
{{Japanese characters}}
Interactions between [[Japan|Japanese]] people, as well as between Japanese and foreigners, are geared not only around each other's relative status in respect to each other, but also by an almost-inherent respect for, and politeness towards, other people. These govern almost every aspect of Japanese life, from how you greet somebody, which title you use when addressing them and even where you would expect to be seated at a dinner table.
This has resulted in a uniquely Japanese standard of behaviour, or '''Japanese etiquette''' (<font size=3>礼儀作法</font> ''reigishahou''), that whilst is second nature to the locals, can prove to be a minefield of potential faux pas for the unwary. This will attempt to set out and explain some of these etiquette "rules", to assist any potential future visitors to the country.
==Bowing==
Simply put, the Japanese bow for ''everything'' - when greeting somebody; when saying farewell; when thanking somebody; when apologising; when making a request or asking a favour; or when acknowledging a comment or instruction. What differs is the depth of the bow - it can range from a nod of the head, to a full 90-degree bend at the waist.
The deeper the bow, the more respect you are showing the person you are bowing to. Thus, somebody of a higher social, or work status, would be deserving of a deep bow, whilst a nod is informal and casual, often used between friends. Although foreigners are expected to bow in these situations too, a nod of the head is acceptable, as they are not expected to know all the social conventions.
In contrast to the West, Japanese rarely shake hands with each other, although here again, allowance is made for foreigners.
==At Home==
A Japanese man's house is literally his castle, but do not get your hopes up when invited to "come back to my mansion," as the word "mansion" can mean anything from a mansion to a unit in a large block of flats. That said, unless you are visiting friends in the country, the chances are pretty slim that you will ever set foot in a Japanese home.
If you are there on business, then any business dealings will take place at the office and from there will move to a restaurant. A successful meeting will probably result in the evening being concluded at a club or a karaoke bar.
If you are lucky enough to be invited home, there are two important things to remember:
* When entering someone else's home, even if they are a friend and you have been there many times before, there is a standard phrase one says when stepping over the threshold. This is "ojama shimasu" (<font size=3>お邪魔します</font> pronounced "o-ja-ma-she-maas", with the "ja" as in "jam"), which translates as, "excuse me for disturbing," or "sorry to bother you." It is almost a way of thanking them in advance for their hospitality and for the trouble you are causing them by being a guest in their home.
* Shoes are never worn indoors, so always make sure you are wearing a good pair of socks. If it is a Western-style home, with carpeted or tiled floors, the host will provide you with a pair of slippers to wear. If it is a more traditional home, with ''tatami'' mats (<font size=3>畳</font> mats made of woven straw, measuring 180cm by 90cm) then you walk barefoot, or in your socks, to save the mats from wear and tear. Even most Western-style homes will have at least one ''tatami'' room, at which point you remove your slippers before entering. To further complicate matters, there are also "bathroom slippers", which are only worn in the bathroom. Your slippers will be left outside the door and do not forget to change back before returning.
Every Japanese home, even if it is a one-roomed apartment, has a small entry hall (<font size=3>玄関</font> ''genkan''), separated from the rest of the house by a step, where one leaves their shoes, before entering the home.
==Table Manners==
Although there are restaurants and homes with Western-style dining room tables and chairs, many still use the traditional low table, with cushions to sit on. They are usually on ''tatami'' floors, so patrons will be in socks or barefoot.
The first thing to take note of is how to sit at these tables. The formal way of sitting for both genders is the [[seiza]] (<font size=3>正座</font> ''sitting correctly'') kneeling position. However, people who are not used to sitting ''seiza'' may become uncomfortable after a while. In these situations, or more casual gatherings, men may sit cross-legged, whilst women kneel with both legs to one side. Women should not sit cross-legged and conversely, men should not adopt the latter position.
Never assume where you are going to sit, as rank or social status determines that too. The most important guest sits at the "seat of honour" (<font size=3>上座</font> ''kamiza''), which is located furthest away from the entrance. If there is a ''tokonoma'' (<font size=3>床の間</font> an alcove containing a hanging scroll (<font size=3>掛軸</font> ''kakejiku'') and a flower arrangement (<font size=3>活花</font> ''ikebana''), or piece of pottery), then the guest will be seated in front of that. The host, or least important person present, will be seated closest to the entrance. Wait until your host indicates your seat, before sitting down.
===Saying "Grace"===
Every Japanese meal, from a schoolchild about to eat their ''bento'' (<font size=3>弁当</font> "boxed lunch") to a restaurant, starts with each person saying out loud "itadakimasu" (<font size=3>戴きます</font> pronounced "i-ta-daki-maas"), which means, "I receive this gratefully." Likewise, after the meal, everybody says, "gochisōsama deshi<i></i>ta" (<font size=3>ご馳走様でした</font> pronounced "go-chi-sew-sama-desh-ta"), which means "Thank you for the meal." Failure to say either, implies you did not enjoy the food and is a terrible insult for the host.
===Chopsticks===
Whilst Western-style food is eaten with a knife and fork and a spoon is used for some Japanese foods (such as Japanese curry), more often than not you are going to have to use chopsticks (<font size=3>箸</font> ''hashi'') to eat your food. As the proper use of chopsticks is the most fundamental of Japanese table manners, there is a sizable list of dos and don'ts.
* If you are presented with disposable bamboo chopsticks, separate them by gripping the ends and pulling them apart slowly, to ensure a clean break. People who end up with one long and one short chopstick are seen as being clumsy.
* Chopsticks are always held by the last third of their length, never close to the tip.
* When you are not using your chopsticks, or have finished eating, they should be placed in front of you, with the tips facing to the left.
* Never stick your chopsticks into your food, especially not rice, as this is only done at funerals, when a bowl of rice, with chopsticks stuck into it, is placed on the altar.
* Never use your chopsticks to spear food.
* Never point with your chopsticks, or wave them around in the air, or play with them.
* Do not move plates or bowls around with your chopsticks.
* If a piece of food is too large to break with your chopsticks, it is acceptable to pick up the entire piece with your chopsticks, and take a bite, before returning it to your bowl.
* If you have already eaten with your chopsticks, use the opposite end to take food from a shared plate, if serving chopsticks are not available.
It is considered good manners to empty your dishes to the last grain of rice, so be careful when dishing up – it is better to take too little and then have seconds, than leave food behind. When you are finished eating, it is polite to move all your dishes back to the same position they were at the start of the meal. This includes replacing the lids on dishes and putting your chopsticks on the chopstick holder or back into their paper slip.
==Also see==
* [[Japanese honorifics]]
* [[Seiza]]
[[category:Japan]]
Interactions between [[Japan|Japanese]] people, as well as between Japanese and foreigners, are geared not only around each other's relative status in respect to each other, but also by an almost-inherent respect for, and politeness towards, other people. These govern almost every aspect of Japanese life, from how you greet somebody, which title you use when addressing them and even where you would expect to be seated at a dinner table.
This has resulted in a uniquely Japanese standard of behaviour, or '''Japanese etiquette''' (<font size=3>礼儀作法</font> ''reigishahou''), that whilst is second nature to the locals, can prove to be a minefield of potential faux pas for the unwary. This will attempt to set out and explain some of these etiquette "rules", to assist any potential future visitors to the country.
==Bowing==
Simply put, the Japanese bow for ''everything'' - when greeting somebody; when saying farewell; when thanking somebody; when apologising; when making a request or asking a favour; or when acknowledging a comment or instruction. What differs is the depth of the bow - it can range from a nod of the head, to a full 90-degree bend at the waist.
The deeper the bow, the more respect you are showing the person you are bowing to. Thus, somebody of a higher social, or work status, would be deserving of a deep bow, whilst a nod is informal and casual, often used between friends. Although foreigners are expected to bow in these situations too, a nod of the head is acceptable, as they are not expected to know all the social conventions.
In contrast to the West, Japanese rarely shake hands with each other, although here again, allowance is made for foreigners.
==At Home==
A Japanese man's house is literally his castle, but do not get your hopes up when invited to "come back to my mansion," as the word "mansion" can mean anything from a mansion to a unit in a large block of flats. That said, unless you are visiting friends in the country, the chances are pretty slim that you will ever set foot in a Japanese home.
If you are there on business, then any business dealings will take place at the office and from there will move to a restaurant. A successful meeting will probably result in the evening being concluded at a club or a karaoke bar.
If you are lucky enough to be invited home, there are two important things to remember:
* When entering someone else's home, even if they are a friend and you have been there many times before, there is a standard phrase one says when stepping over the threshold. This is "ojama shimasu" (<font size=3>お邪魔します</font> pronounced "o-ja-ma-she-maas", with the "ja" as in "jam"), which translates as, "excuse me for disturbing," or "sorry to bother you." It is almost a way of thanking them in advance for their hospitality and for the trouble you are causing them by being a guest in their home.
* Shoes are never worn indoors, so always make sure you are wearing a good pair of socks. If it is a Western-style home, with carpeted or tiled floors, the host will provide you with a pair of slippers to wear. If it is a more traditional home, with ''tatami'' mats (<font size=3>畳</font> mats made of woven straw, measuring 180cm by 90cm) then you walk barefoot, or in your socks, to save the mats from wear and tear. Even most Western-style homes will have at least one ''tatami'' room, at which point you remove your slippers before entering. To further complicate matters, there are also "bathroom slippers", which are only worn in the bathroom. Your slippers will be left outside the door and do not forget to change back before returning.
Every Japanese home, even if it is a one-roomed apartment, has a small entry hall (<font size=3>玄関</font> ''genkan''), separated from the rest of the house by a step, where one leaves their shoes, before entering the home.
==Table Manners==
Although there are restaurants and homes with Western-style dining room tables and chairs, many still use the traditional low table, with cushions to sit on. They are usually on ''tatami'' floors, so patrons will be in socks or barefoot.
The first thing to take note of is how to sit at these tables. The formal way of sitting for both genders is the [[seiza]] (<font size=3>正座</font> ''sitting correctly'') kneeling position. However, people who are not used to sitting ''seiza'' may become uncomfortable after a while. In these situations, or more casual gatherings, men may sit cross-legged, whilst women kneel with both legs to one side. Women should not sit cross-legged and conversely, men should not adopt the latter position.
Never assume where you are going to sit, as rank or social status determines that too. The most important guest sits at the "seat of honour" (<font size=3>上座</font> ''kamiza''), which is located furthest away from the entrance. If there is a ''tokonoma'' (<font size=3>床の間</font> an alcove containing a hanging scroll (<font size=3>掛軸</font> ''kakejiku'') and a flower arrangement (<font size=3>活花</font> ''ikebana''), or piece of pottery), then the guest will be seated in front of that. The host, or least important person present, will be seated closest to the entrance. Wait until your host indicates your seat, before sitting down.
===Saying "Grace"===
Every Japanese meal, from a schoolchild about to eat their ''bento'' (<font size=3>弁当</font> "boxed lunch") to a restaurant, starts with each person saying out loud "itadakimasu" (<font size=3>戴きます</font> pronounced "i-ta-daki-maas"), which means, "I receive this gratefully." Likewise, after the meal, everybody says, "gochisōsama deshi<i></i>ta" (<font size=3>ご馳走様でした</font> pronounced "go-chi-sew-sama-desh-ta"), which means "Thank you for the meal." Failure to say either, implies you did not enjoy the food and is a terrible insult for the host.
===Chopsticks===
Whilst Western-style food is eaten with a knife and fork and a spoon is used for some Japanese foods (such as Japanese curry), more often than not you are going to have to use chopsticks (<font size=3>箸</font> ''hashi'') to eat your food. As the proper use of chopsticks is the most fundamental of Japanese table manners, there is a sizable list of dos and don'ts.
* If you are presented with disposable bamboo chopsticks, separate them by gripping the ends and pulling them apart slowly, to ensure a clean break. People who end up with one long and one short chopstick are seen as being clumsy.
* Chopsticks are always held by the last third of their length, never close to the tip.
* When you are not using your chopsticks, or have finished eating, they should be placed in front of you, with the tips facing to the left.
* Never stick your chopsticks into your food, especially not rice, as this is only done at funerals, when a bowl of rice, with chopsticks stuck into it, is placed on the altar.
* Never use your chopsticks to spear food.
* Never point with your chopsticks, or wave them around in the air, or play with them.
* Do not move plates or bowls around with your chopsticks.
* If a piece of food is too large to break with your chopsticks, it is acceptable to pick up the entire piece with your chopsticks, and take a bite, before returning it to your bowl.
* If you have already eaten with your chopsticks, use the opposite end to take food from a shared plate, if serving chopsticks are not available.
It is considered good manners to empty your dishes to the last grain of rice, so be careful when dishing up – it is better to take too little and then have seconds, than leave food behind. When you are finished eating, it is polite to move all your dishes back to the same position they were at the start of the meal. This includes replacing the lids on dishes and putting your chopsticks on the chopstick holder or back into their paper slip.
==Also see==
* [[Japanese honorifics]]
* [[Seiza]]
[[category:Japan]]