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| − | == Assfly ==
| + | {{move|Christo and Jeanne-Claude}} |
| − | The [[User:Aschlafly|Assfly]] is a breed of fly that is thought to have [[Evolution|devolved]] from [[Human|Homo sapiens]] sometime in the early 1960s, roughly one thousand nine hundred and sixty years after [[Jesus|this guy]] was imagined as the result of an ice-cream [[John_McCain|headache]].
| + | [[Image:Christo Surrounded Islands 1983.jpg|thumb|right|In May 1983, Christo and Jeanne-Claude surrounded 11 islands in Miami's Biscayne Bay with 6.5 million square feet of pink woven polypropylene fabric.]] |
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| − | Assflies are renowned for their disturbing habit of excreting large amounts of [[User_talk:Aschlafly|faecal matter]]. After defecation, the Assfly will generally roll around in this matter in order to spread it as far as possible. [[Humanity|Select groups]] are conflicted over this practice, torn between amusement and bewilderment that any animal would openly display such foolish behavior, instead of using more [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Paper&oldid=552163 practical methods] of dealing with the faeces.
| + | '''Christo''' (born as '''Christo Vladimirov Javacheff''' on June 13, 1935) and '''Jeanne-Claude''' (born '''Jeanne-Claude Denat de Guillebon''' on June 13, 1935) are married installation artists who are best known for wrapping large-scale objects in fabric (for example the [[Reichstag]] in [[Berlin]]). |
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| − | Many strange traits are associated with Assflies, which serve to highlight the social and political ineptitude of the insect. Examples of these traits include:
| + | The artists have been active for a very long time: Their first collaboration ("Dockside Packages") dates back to 1961, and their most recent project ("The Gates") was completed in 2005.<ref>[http://www.christojeanneclaude.net/bio.shtml Official biographies]</ref> |
| − | * Beliefs in non-existent super beings.
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| − | * Being born of a politically backward matriarch.
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| − | * Homosexual siblings.
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| − | * Unwillingness to accept facts conflicting with its own beliefs, no matter how much proof is offered (known as "[[La_la_la,_I_Can't_Hear_You|La la la, I can't hear you!]]" disorder).
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| − | * Alerting the FBI that crimes are being committed, when they in fact are not.
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| − | * [[Deceit|Deceitfully]] attempting to hide all evidence that the above behavior exists.
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| − | Assfly infestation is very serious, and can lead to [[John_McCain|mental problems]] in those who are in contact with the insect. It is strongly advised to keep children as far away as possible.
| + | == See also == |
| | + | *[[Installation art]] |
| | + | *[[Architecture]] |
| | + | *[[Painting]] |
| | + | *[[Sculpture]] |
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| | + | ==References== |
| | + | <references/> |
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| | + | ==External links== |
| | + | *[http://www.christojeanneclaude.net/ Official site] |
| | + | *[http://www.americantrails.org/resources/art/Gates.html Orange fabric project] in [[Central Park]] |
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| | + | [[Category:Modern artists]] |