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== Assfly ==
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{{move|Christo and Jeanne-Claude}}
The [[User:Aschlafly|Assfly]] is a breed of fly that is thought to have [[Evolution|devolved]] from [[Human|Homo sapiens]] sometime in the early 1960s, roughly one thousand nine hundred and sixty years after [[Jesus|this guy]] was imagined as the result of an ice-cream [[John_McCain|headache]].
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[[Image:Christo Surrounded Islands 1983.jpg|thumb|right|In May 1983, Christo and Jeanne-Claude surrounded 11 islands in Miami's Biscayne Bay with 6.5 million square feet of pink woven polypropylene fabric.]]
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Assflies are renowned for their disturbing habit of excreting large amounts of [[User_talk:Aschlafly|faecal matter]]. After defecation, the Assfly will generally roll around in this matter in order to spread it as far as possible. [[Humanity|Select groups]] are conflicted over this practice, torn between amusement and bewilderment that any animal would openly display such foolish behavior, instead of using more [http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Paper&oldid=552163 practical methods] of dealing with the faeces.
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'''Christo''' (born as '''Christo Vladimirov Javacheff''' on June 13, 1935) and '''Jeanne-Claude''' (born '''Jeanne-Claude Denat de Guillebon''' on June 13, 1935) are married installation artists who are best known for wrapping large-scale objects in fabric (for example the [[Reichstag]] in [[Berlin]]).
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Many strange traits are associated with Assflies, which serve to highlight the social and political ineptitude of the insect. Examples of these traits include:
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The artists have been active for a very long time: Their first collaboration ("Dockside Packages") dates back to 1961, and their most recent project ("The Gates") was completed in 2005.<ref>[http://www.christojeanneclaude.net/bio.shtml Official biographies]</ref>
* Beliefs in non-existent super beings.
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* Being born of a politically backward matriarch.
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* Homosexual siblings.
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* Unwillingness to accept facts conflicting with its own beliefs, no matter how much proof is offered (known as "[[La_la_la,_I_Can't_Hear_You|La la la, I can't hear you!]]" disorder).
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* Alerting the FBI that crimes are being committed, when they in fact are not.
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* [[Deceit|Deceitfully]] attempting to hide all evidence that the above behavior exists.
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Assfly infestation is very serious, and can lead to [[John_McCain|mental problems]] in those who are in contact with the insect. It is strongly advised to keep children as far away as possible.
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== See also ==
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*[[Installation art]]
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*[[Architecture]]
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*[[Painting]]
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*[[Sculpture]]
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==References==
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<references/>
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==External links==
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*[http://www.christojeanneclaude.net/ Official site]
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*[http://www.americantrails.org/resources/art/Gates.html Orange fabric project] in [[Central Park]]
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[[Category:Modern artists]]
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