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Debate: Can you be a true Christian and believe in evolution? (view source)
Revision as of 00:12, March 17, 2009
, 00:12, March 17, 2009no edit summary
Sure, why not? Ironheart777 11:59 (PST) 25 november
Sure, why not? Ironheart777 11:59 (PST) 25 november
/* YES */ Of course! As long as you BELIEVE that Christ exists in your heart, than you can believe whatever the hell you want to go along with it. For example, I heard this story not to long ago, dealing with the Pope. This took place a couple years ago, so I hear, and has only happened once.
True story, look it up:
The Pope was sitting at his table, endulging in a breakfast of Chuck Steak and Poached eggs with Sour Cream on the side. Delicious, right? Well, as we all know, when you're done eating you sometimes have to go and do that thing we all know about in the bathroom correct?
So, the Pope had realized this just an hour after his appetizingly, delicious meal. Now, Benedict here had been intestinally corked for a few days, so there was a lot of garbage in the dumpster; thus, he had taken a gelatine stool softener after his meal. After thinking about it for a good five minutes or so, just getting out of digestion, Benedict felt a large rumbling in his stomach. So intense and massive this rumbling, it could have been at the force of a tank!
The wonderously pious man warp sped his way towards the toilet...
The hit was so sudden and intense that there was a chance he could have already "made the brownies" so to speak. Thus, when he finally made his way into the Bathroom, shutting the door was the last thing on his mind!
Unfortunately for our main man here, as soon as he had let his pants down, he discovered a sticky, brown wonder inside of them. This was stressful. He was old, but not that old. It must have been those damned stool softeners! The palm of his hand was covering his face for a few minutes while the disaster was deterring out from his most certainly 'uncorked' bowel.
After many "horn-like" noises and ghastly "ahhhhhs" from the Pope, it was finally over. Now, it was time for the worst of it all. He knew damn well this was going to be messy, as well as going to take a long, long while.
He glanced to his right...
No! There was nothing. Just a few slivers left of a roll! None left in the reserves? The maid must have certainly switched the roll by now...
He let out a long sigh... wondering what the hell he was going to do. It was truly amazing how a human's normal functions of waste could really be stressful at times.
He then glanced to his left...
There, on the table next to him, in a brown sleeve and with a golden sliver hanging out, was none other than the "Holy Bible." The Pope, while angry at himself for it, thus knew what had to be done. Of all the people in this world, he himself would be the LAST person to suspect doing something so foul and blasphemous. Unfortunately, desperate times called for desperate measures.
Naturally, he put his hands together and chanted "Dear God, oh Lord: please forgive me for what I am about to do. I have no other choice", his head shaking sadly at the chant.........
Shelly the Maid had trotted in the bathroom door yet again for another day of the Bathroom cleaning. Her eyes lit up when she saw the experiment lying on the floor. What the hell had happened? Why was there a Bible with HALF of its pages missing??? What's with the shit on the floor? The fan wasn't even on!
She shook her head and planned out within a week what she was going to do with her life. First step was going to be putting in her resignation...