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Traditionalist Catholicism (view source)
Revision as of 16:10, April 28, 2009
, 16:10, April 28, 2009Created page with ''''Traditionalist Catholicism''' is an orthodox religious movement that has been in existence since the Second Ecumenical Council of the Vatican precipitated the ...'
'''Traditionalist Catholicism''' is an [[orthodox]] [[religious]] [[movement]] that has been in existence since the [[Second Ecumenical Council of the Vatican]] precipitated the death of [[Pius XII]] in 1962. Traditionalist Catholics follow the original ([[infallible|divinely inspired]]) teachings found in the [[Bible]] and in the first [[Vatican]], rather than the [[heresy|heretical]] teachings of the so-called "Vatican II". In this respect Traditionalist Catholicism is similar to Traditionalist Caddyshackism, in proving that even [[religion]]s can be subject to [[sequelitis]].
Traditionalist Catholics are split into two main groups: ''conclavists'', who believe that the existing Church is entirely devoid of substance and that a new Pope must be elected via ecumenical conclave; and ''sedevacationists'', who believe that the Pope has merely been on holiday since 1962 and will return in glory once he has acquired a deep tan. (The order of [[Tannist monks]], ''U.C.S.D.'', is however better known for its traditional brewing of fine [[iced tea]].)
Vatican II "[[reform]]s" typically rejected by Traditionalist Catholic [[congregation]]s and [[priest]]s include:
* Traditionalists prefer [[Latin]] [[Mass]] to [[English]]
* Traditionalists do not [[ordination|ordain]] [[women]]
* Traditionalists go to [[confession]] daily, not "when I feel like it"
* Traditionalists do not believe it is possible to [[Eucharist|consecrate]] [[Cheetos]]
* Traditionalists believe sexual intercourse should take place on [[pillow]]s, not on [[the pill]]
* Traditionalists believe [[Mehmet Ali Agca]] should have spent a little more time at the shooting range
[[Category:Catholic Church]]
Traditionalist Catholics are split into two main groups: ''conclavists'', who believe that the existing Church is entirely devoid of substance and that a new Pope must be elected via ecumenical conclave; and ''sedevacationists'', who believe that the Pope has merely been on holiday since 1962 and will return in glory once he has acquired a deep tan. (The order of [[Tannist monks]], ''U.C.S.D.'', is however better known for its traditional brewing of fine [[iced tea]].)
Vatican II "[[reform]]s" typically rejected by Traditionalist Catholic [[congregation]]s and [[priest]]s include:
* Traditionalists prefer [[Latin]] [[Mass]] to [[English]]
* Traditionalists do not [[ordination|ordain]] [[women]]
* Traditionalists go to [[confession]] daily, not "when I feel like it"
* Traditionalists do not believe it is possible to [[Eucharist|consecrate]] [[Cheetos]]
* Traditionalists believe sexual intercourse should take place on [[pillow]]s, not on [[the pill]]
* Traditionalists believe [[Mehmet Ali Agca]] should have spent a little more time at the shooting range
[[Category:Catholic Church]]