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| | ==Personal Life== | | ==Personal Life== |
| | His faith in [[Christ]] is a well-known fact inside and outside the sports world. | | His faith in [[Christ]] is a well-known fact inside and outside the sports world. |
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| − | Tim Tebow doesnt break wind…….thats the air crapping all over itself trying to get out of Tebow’s way..
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| − | Killing Tim Tebow doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.
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| − | Tim Tebow doesn’t do pushups, he pushes the earth down.
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| − | Tim Tebow’s tears cure cancer, to bad he’s never cried.
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| − | If Tim Tebow was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.
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| − | If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Tim Tebow spared your life.
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| − | Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas.
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| − | If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Tim Tebow says its beef. Then you better believe it’s beef.
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| − | Tim Tebow once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
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| − | Tim Tebow counted to infinity – twice.
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| − | 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Tim Tebow. Sounds like a fair fight.
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| − | Let’s get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Tim Tebow does not feel like carrying you.
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| − | Tim Tebow was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Tim Tebow.
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| − | Tim Tebow played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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| − | When life gave Tim Tebow lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Tim Tebow hates lemonade.
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| − | Tim Tebow once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
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| − | Osama bin Laden’s recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Tim Tebow is, in fact, still alive.
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| − | Tim Tebow is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
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| − | Tim Tebow doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
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| − | When Tim Tebow was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
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| − | Tim Tebow killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
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| − | Simon Says should be renamed to Tim Tebow Says because if Tim Tebow says something then you better do it.
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| − | Tim Tebow won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn’t a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
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| − | When Tim Tebow pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
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| − | Tim Tebow’s favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
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| − | When you open a can of whoop-ass, Tim Tebow jumps out.
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| − | When Google can’t find something, it asks Tim Tebow for help.
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| − | You can lead a horse to water. Tim Tebow can make him drink.
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| − | Tim Tebow can get McDonald’s breakfast after 10:30.
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| − | When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Tim Tebow.
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| − | Every mathematical inequality officially ends with “< Tim Tebow”.
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| − | In 96 hours, Tim Tebow has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life?
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| − | Tim Tebow killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
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| − | In kindergarten, Tim Tebow killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
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| − | What color is Tim Tebow’s blood? Trick question. Tim Tebow does not bleed.
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| − | Guns dont kill people, Tim Tebow kills people.
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| − | If Tim and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Tim would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
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| − | People with amnesia still remember Tim Tebow.
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| − | Sun Tzu once wrote, “If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Tim Tebow, you’re f***ing dead.”
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| − | Tim Tebow literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
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| − | Tim Tebow has been to Mars. That’s why there’s no life on Mars.
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| − | Superman’s only weakness is Kryptonite. Tim Tebow laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
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| − | When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Tim Tebow signal.
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| − | It took Tim Tebow two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.
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| − | If Tim Tebow was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
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| − | Tim Tebow was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
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| − | After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Tim Tebow, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.
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| − | Tim Tebow’s family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
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| − | When Tim Tebow messes with Sasquatch, it’s animal cruelty.
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| − | Fan Submitted Tim Tebow Facts
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| − | Everybody plays a fool, but there’s one exception to the rule: Tim Tebow.
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| − | The only thing that can destroy Tim Tebow is another Tim Tebow.
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| − | Tim Tebow did not have a fever on the day of the Spring Game; he was on fire.
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| − | With a single touchdown pass, #15 turned Doak Campbell Stadium into Tim Tebow Arena.
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| − | Tebow doesn’t want to mentioned alongside Archie Griffin, so he ordered the Heisman
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| − | voters not to give him a second trophy.
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| − | Tim Tebow has his own Blizzard [the Dairy Queen shake], flavored with rage and the
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| − | blood of all his victims. It’s called the Cherry Bomb.
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| − | Tim Tebow thought a Starbucks was high-class, so he threw a football so hard at it
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| − | that it turned into a Dunkin Donuts.
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| − | Tim Tebow made the 30 lives code on Contra.
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| − | Oh no, you didn’t. Oh yes, Tim Tebow did.
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| − | If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit…Tim Tebow.
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| − | Superman fears Kryptonite. Tim Tebow eats it for breakfast.
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| − | McDonalds? Tim Tebow’s not lovin’ it.
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| − | Tim Tebow was banned from Mortal Kombat because every one of his moves caused aFatality.
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| − | Tim Tebow doesn’t get A’s, they’re just the first letter he tortures.
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| − | John Elway was Tim Tebow’s worst protege. Too bad Tebow didn’t teach anybody else.
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| − | Nobody wins in a stalemate…except Tim Tebow.
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| − | If you have 4 touchdowns and Tim Tebow has 4 touchdowns, Tim Tebow has more
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| − | Tim Tebow taught Ken Jennings everything he knows. No wonder the guy won $3 million
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| − | on Jeopardy.
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| − | Tim Tebow hates Sara Lee. Don’t tell Tim Tebow who he doesn’t like.
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| − | Tim Tebow can eat just one Lay’s potato chip. Tim Tebow wins all his bets.
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| − | Tim Tebow checkmated Bobby Fischer – using only his king.
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| − | Tim Tebow doesn’t wear glasses. The sheer anger emanating from his eyes would
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| − | seethe through the lens and destroy everything in its path.
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| − | When Tim Tebow writes poetry, everything rhymes with orange.
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| − | Tim Tebow can fold a piece of paper in half 9 times.
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| − | Life doesn’t give Tim Tebow lemons; life asks what kind of fruit Tim Tebow wants
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| − | When he was a kid, Tim Tebow made his mom eat his vegetables for him.
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| | [[Category:Football Players]] | | [[Category:Football Players]] |
| | [[Category:Christians]] | | [[Category:Christians]] |