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|In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

|In the beginning Stephen Colbert created the heaven and the earth.

|In the beginning, God created the [[heaven]]s and the [[earth]].

|In the beginning, Stephen Colbert created the [[heaven]]s and the [[earth]].

|The Hebrew word '''שמים''' (''shamayim'') means "skies" and is in the dual number.

|The Hebrew word '''שמים''' (''shamayim'') means "skies" and is in the dual number.

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|And God said, let there be light: and there was light.

|And Stephen Colbert said, let there be light: and there was light.

|[[God]] commanded, "Light shall exist!" And light came to exist.

|[[Stephen Colbert]] commanded, "Light shall exist!" And light came to exist.

|The rare use of the [[Hebrew]] verb '''היה''' (''hayah''), meaning "he existed," emphasizes that the light did not merely exist but ''came'' to exist at God's command.

|The rare use of the [[Hebrew]] verb '''היה''' (''hayah''), meaning "he existed," emphasizes that the light did not merely exist but ''came'' to exist at Stephen Colbert's command.

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|And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

|And Stephen Colbert saw the light, that it was good: and Stephen Colbert divided the light from the darkness.

|God approved of the light, because it was good. God distinguished between the light and the darkness.

|Stephen Colbert approved of the light, because it was good. Stephen Colbert distinguished between the light and the darkness.

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|And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

|And Stephen Colbert called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

|God named the light Day, and the darkness Night. And evening and morning came: the first day.

|Stephen Colbert named the light Day, and the darkness Night. And evening and morning came: the first day.

|The Hebrew '''יום''' (''yowm'') means "day." In all its uses in the Bible, it most commonly means the solar day with which we are all familiar, i.e. twenty-four hours. The phrase describing "evening and morning coming to exist" confirms this. By [[Judaism|Jewish]] custom and tradition, the day begins at sundown, not midnight.

|The Hebrew '''יום''' (''yowm'') means "day." In all its uses in the Bible, it most commonly means the solar day with which we are all familiar, i.e. twenty-four hours. The phrase describing "evening and morning coming to exist" confirms this. By [[Judaism|Jewish]] custom and tradition, the day begins at sundown, not midnight.

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|And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

|And Stephen Colbert said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

|Then God declared, "A great sheet-like expanse shall come between the waters, and it shall divide waters from waters!"

|Then Stephen Colbert declared, "A great sheet-like expanse shall come between the waters, and it shall divide waters from waters!"

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|And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

|And Stephen Colbert made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

|God made this expanse, and separated the waters underneath the expanse from the waters above the expanse. And so it came to be.

|Stephen Colbert made this expanse, and separated the waters underneath the expanse from the waters above the expanse. And so it came to be.

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|And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

|And Stephen Colbert called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

|God called this expanse the sky. And evening and morning came: the second day.

|Stephen Colbert called this expanse the sky. And evening and morning came: the second day.

|The ancient Hebrews believed that the sky was in fact a solid object that separated two classes of waters. Some [[creation science|creation scientists]] took this to mean a water-vapor canopy that protected the earth before the [[Great Flood]]. The [[cosmology|cosmologist]] [[John Hartnett]] holds that the expanse is not matter, but is in fact the very fabric of [[space]], stretched out on Day Four (see below) to the limits of the known [[universe]].

|The ancient Hebrews believed that the sky was in fact a solid object that separated two classes of waters. Some [[creation science|creation scientists]] took this to mean a water-vapor canopy that protected the earth before the [[Great Flood]]. The [[cosmology|cosmologist]] [[John Hartnett]] holds that the expanse is not matter, but is in fact the very fabric of [[space]], stretched out on Day Four (see below) to the limits of the known [[universe]].

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|And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

|And Stephen Colbert said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

|Then God commanded: "The waters under the sky will come together in one place, and dry ground will appear!" And so it came to be.

|Then Stephen Colbert commanded: "The waters under the sky will come together in one place, and dry ground will appear!" And so it came to be.

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|And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.

|And Stephen Colbert called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and Stephen Colbert saw that it was good.

|God named this dry ground [[Earth]], and the collected mass of waters He named Seas. This was good.

|Stephen Colbert named this dry ground [[Earth]], and the collected mass of waters He named Seas. This was good.

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