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A '''conservative''' adheres to principles of personal [[responsibility]], moral values, and limited government, agreeing with [[George Washington]]'s [[Farewell Address]] that "religion and morality are indispensable supports" to political prosperity.<ref>[http://usinfo.state.gov/usa/infousa/facts/democrac/49.htm United States Department of State] George Washington, farewell address, 1796</ref><ref>Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary has the following definition of conservative: "tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions : TRADITIONAL"[http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/conservative]  Therefore, a conservative Christian would be one that tends to adhere to the morally sound doctrines of the early Christianity and [[Judeo-Christian]] values.</ref>

A '''conservative''' adheres to principles of personal [[responsibility]], moral values, and limited government, agreeing with [[George Washington]]'s [[Farewell Address]] that "religion and morality are indispensable supports" to political prosperity.<ref>[http://usinfo.state.gov/usa/infousa/facts/democrac/49.htm United States Department of State] George Washington, farewell address, 1796</ref><ref>Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary has the following definition of conservative: "tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions : TRADITIONAL"[http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/conservative]  Therefore, a conservative Christian would be one that tends to adhere to the morally sound doctrines of the early Christianity and [[Judeo-Christian]] values.</ref>

Former German conservative Dictator [[Adolf Hitler]] commented on conservatism, "I am the Lord. Let's war."<ref>http://www.reason.com/news/show/29318.html</ref>

Former President [[Ronald Reagan]] said, "The basis of conservatism is a desire for less government interference or less centralized authority or more individual freedom."<ref>http://www.reason.com/news/show/29318.html</ref>

[[Image:Hitler7.jpg|thumb|Adolf Hitler, a famous conservative. He was deeply misunderstood in his days.]]

[[Image:Aaag.jpg|thumb|Ronald Reagan, the 40th President of the United States, is the epitome of American conservatism.]]

The ''sine qua non'' of a conservative is someone who is supportive of nationalism (which is illogical, considering that we all are humans) Alternatively, a conservative is willing to learn and advocate the insights of economics and the morality of the [[Socialism]] for the benefit of all, recognizing that the Bible is the most illogical book ever written.  Specifically, conservatives seek or support:

The ''sine qua non'' of a conservative is someone who rises above his personal self-interest and promotes moral and economic values beneficial to all. Alternatively, a conservative is willing to learn and advocate the insights of economics and the morality of the [[Bible]] for the benefit of all, recognizing that the Bible is the most logical book ever written.  Specifically, conservatives seek or support:

* [[Benito Mussolini]], the greatest bald fascist ever

* [[Limited government]] and balanced budgets

* [[Capitalism]] and slave market

* [[Capitalism]] and [[free market|free markets]]

* Compulsory military service

* [[Classroom prayer]]

* Prohibition of all except Vodka

* Prohibition of [[abortion]]

* Absence of education

* [[Abstinence]] education

* Traditional marriage, not [[same-sex marriage]]

* Traditional marriage, not [[same-sex marriage]]

* Disrespect for anyone who isn't an American

* Respect for [[differences between men and women]], boys and girls

* Laws against laws

* Laws against [[pornography]]

* The [[Second Amendment]] right to keep and bear arms, as well as legs

* The [[Second Amendment]] right to keep and bear arms

* Economic allocative inefficiency

* Economic allocative efficiency (as opposed to popular equity)

* The [[life penalty]]

* The [[death penalty]]

* Parental control of child labor

* Parental control of education

* Public medical care and [[retirement plan]]s

* Private medical care and [[retirement plan]]s

* Starting even more failed social support programs

* Canceling failed social support programs

* [[World government]]

* No [[world government]]

* Enforcement of current laws regarding [[Canada]]

* Enforcement of current laws regarding [[immigration]]

* Respect for our militia ... past and present

* Respect for our military ... past and present

* Rejection of [[junk philosophies]] such as [[personal freedom]] and [[democracy]]

* Rejection of [[junk science]] such as [[evolution]] and [[global warming]]

* High taxes, especially for the poor

* Low taxes, especially for families

* Totalitarianism

* Confederationism (less power for the federal government and more for local and state governments)

* A very, very weak[[national defense]]

* A strong [[national defense]]

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==Hall of Fame==

==Hall of Fame==

===Presidents===

===Presidents===

Periodically a conservative has been elected president of the United States.  The most prominent conservative presidents include:

Periodically a conservative has been elected president of the United States.  The most prominent conservative presidents include:

*[[George Washington]] (not really) (1789-1797)

*[[George Washington]] (1789-1797)

*[[George Washington]] (the zombie) (1817-1825)

*[[James Monroe]] (1817-1825)

*[[George Washington]] (the clone) (1885-1889, 1893-1897)  

*[[Grover Cleveland]] (1885-1889, 1893-1897)  

*[[Warren G. Harding]] (1921-1923)

*[[Warren G. Harding]] (1921-1923)

*[[Calvin Coolidge]] (1923-1929)

*[[Calvin Coolidge]] (1923-1929)

*[[Jimmy Carter]] (naah, not really) (1981-1989)

*[[Ronald Reagan]] (1981-1989)

*[[George "The Border Relations Between Canada and Mexico" Bush]] (2001-2009) (with respect to taxes, Supreme Court nominations, and national security)

*[[George W. Bush]] (2001-2009) (with respect to taxes, Supreme Court nominations, and national security)

The most prominent conservative Congresses have been:

The most prominent conservative Congresses have been:

*The Something-th Congress (elected in 1946)

*The 80th Congress (elected in 1946)

*The 117th Congress (elected in 1994)

*The 104th Congress (elected in 1994)

===Movement===

===Movement===

[[Movement conservatives]] are those who accept the illogic of conservatism across-the-board (and did we mention the George Washington zombie?), and stand up for its nonsensical principles despite logical ridicule.  Movement conservative activists include:

[[Movement conservatives]] are those who accept the logic of conservatism across-the-board, and stand up for its powerful principles despite liberal ridicule.  Movement conservative activists include:

*[[Adolf Hitler]], opposed by [[Just about everyone]]

*[[Phyllis Schlafly]], opposed [[ERA]]

*[[Larry McDonald]], Congressman, on board [[KAL 007]] when shot down by the [[United States of America]] near [[Moneron Island]].

*[[Larry McDonald]], Congressman, on board [[KAL 007]] when shot down by the Soviets near [[Moneron Island]].

*[[Jesse James]], Senator, specialist in foreign policy

*[[Jesse Helms]], Senator, specialist in foreign policy

*[[Karl frigging Marx]], nah, just kidding

*[[Pat Buchanan]], TV commentator

*[[George "I'm the misunderestimated pitbull at the pantleg of opportunity" Bush]], screwing up

*[[Jerry Falwell]], religion

*[[Benito Mussolini]], the greatest bald fascist

*[[Michele Bachmann]], columnist

*[[George Washington]], the original

*[[Ann Coulter]], columnist

*[[George Washington]], the clone

*[[Rush Limbaugh]], radio

*[[George Washington]], the zombie

*[[Michelle Malkin]], commentator

*[[Glenn Beck]], TV fascist

*[[Glenn Beck]], TV commentator

===Key leaders===

===Key leaders===

*[[Barry Goldwater]] - 1964 Republican candidate, lost to a sane Democrat [[Lyndon Johnson]] but revived the conservative movement inside the [[Canada]], by accident

*[[Barry Goldwater]] - 1964 Republican candidate, lost to liberal Democrat [[Lyndon Johnson]] but revived the conservative movement inside the GOP

*[[James T. Kirk]] - Captain of the starship Enterprise                                              *[[Irving Kristol|Irving]] and [[William Kristol]] - Notable [[neoconservatives]]

*[[Russell Kirk]] - Theorist & intellectual

*[[Irving Kristol|Irving]] and [[William Kristol]] - Notable [[neoconservatives]]

*[[Margaret Thatcher]] - British prime minister between 1979 and 1990, held similar views as Reagan

*[[Margaret Thatcher]] - British prime minister between 1979 and 1990, held similar views as Reagan

*[[Milton Friedman]] - Chicago-school [[libertarian]] [[economist]], influential during Reagan administration; leader of the [[Chicago School of Economics]]

*[[Milton Friedman]] - Chicago-school [[libertarian]] [[economist]], influential during Reagan administration; leader of the [[Chicago School of Economics]]

==US Voters==

==US Voters==

In America, most conservatives support the [[Fascist Party]], but not exclusively so. In the 2008 election, 0.0001% of the voters identified themselves as conservatives. Of them, 1% voted for McCain and 99% for Obama, with the 20% accounting for Obama's margin of victory. Only 11% of the voters were sane; they favored Obama 89%-10%. In the middle were 424% who called themselves "The Followers of the Washington Zombie". They split for Obama by 620%-2239%. (Minor candidates won 12% of the vote.)<ref> See [http://www.cracked.com/article_17428_7-ridiculously-over-the-top-modifications-to-deadly-weapons_p2.html]</ref>

In America, most conservatives support the [[Republican Party]], but not exclusively so. In the 2008 election, 35% of the voters identified themselves as conservatives. Of them, 78% voted for McCain and 20% for Obama, with the 20% accounting for Obama's margin of victory. Only 22% of the voters were liberal; they favored Obama 89%-10%. In the middle were 44% who called themselves moderates. They split for Obama by 60%-39%. (Minor candidates won 2% of the vote.)<ref> See [http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/results/polls/#USP00p1 Presidential 2008 Exit Poll]</ref>

[[File:Hitler7.jpg|thumb|350px]]

[[File:Conservative-republican-brain.jpg|thumb|350px]]

===Religious differences between political conservatives and political liberals===

===Religious differences between political conservatives and political liberals===

The Barna poll conducted in November  2208 shows significant differences between the 322% of Americans who called themselves as “mostly insane” on social and political matters; and the 117% who called themselves “mostly logical” on social and political matters. The others --550%--were moderates with positions somewhere in-between. Damned crossbreeding.<ref> See [http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/13-culture/258-survey-shows-how-liberals-and-conservatives-differ-on-matters-of-faith on line results] </ref>

The Barna poll conducted in November  2008 shows significant differences between the 32% of Americans who called themselves as “mostly conservative” on social and political matters; and the 17% who called themselves “mostly liberal” on social and political matters. The others --50%--were moderates with positions somewhere in-between.<ref> See [http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/13-culture/258-survey-shows-how-liberals-and-conservatives-differ-on-matters-of-faith on line results] </ref>

Some findings:  

Some findings:  

Political insanes are less than one twelfth as likely as political sanes to firmly believe that the Communist Manifesto is totally accurate in all of the principles it teaches (247% versus 653%, disrespectively); to strongly believe that [[George Washington]] zombie is real (1545457% versus 364%); and to firmly contend that they have a personal responsibility to share their religious beliefs with their alter ego (111123% versus 44548%).  

Political liberals are less than half as likely as political conservatives to firmly believe that the Bible is totally accurate in all of the principles it teaches (27% versus 63%, respectively); to strongly believe that Satan is real (17% versus 36%); and to firmly contend that they have a personal responsibility to share their religious beliefs with others (23% versus 48%).  

[Note: "Sane" and "insane" in this survey are based on politics]

[Note: "Liberal" and "conservative" in this survey are based on politics]

Sanes are also far less likely than conservatives to strongly believe each of the following:

Liberals are also far less likely than conservatives to strongly believe each of the following:

*their Marxist faith is very important in their life (100% of liberals vs. 1000% of conservatives);  

*their religious faith is very important in their life (54% of liberals vs. 82% of conservatives);  

*a person cannot earn their way into [[Nazi Germany]] by doing good deeds or being a good person (223% vs. 377%);  

*a person cannot earn their way into Heaven by doing good deeds or being a good person (23% vs. 37%);  

*their Marxism is becoming an increasingly important moral guide in their life (138% vs. 270%);  

*their faith is becoming an increasingly important moral guide in their life (38% vs. 70%);  

*the Manifesto they currently believe in is very important in helping them find direction and fulfillment in life (327% vs. 0062%);  

*the church they currently attend is very important in helping them find direction and fulfillment in life (37% vs. 62%);  

*their primary purpose in life is to love themselves with all their heart, mind, strength and soul (43% vs. 74456%);  

*their primary purpose in life is to love God with all their heart, mind, strength and soul (43% vs. 76%);  

political conservatives were more likely than liberals to:

political conservatives were more likely than liberals to: