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Line 1: − [[Image:Christ.jpg|center|300px]]+ + − The name '''Jesus''' is simply the name "Joshua" translated first into Greek, then English. The name '''Jesus''' almost always refers specifically to '''Jesus of Nazareth''', also known as Jesus [[Messiah|Christ]] and accepted by [[Christians]] as the Son of [[Yahweh|God]]. The historical importance of Jesus is memorialized by the modern calendar, which sets the year one to the traditional year of his birth, although modern historians generally place the actual date of his birth between 7 and 4 B.C. + + − The life of Jesus is recorded in the Bible in the [[Gospel]]s of [[Matthew]], [[Mark]], [[Luke]], and [[John]]. The Gospel account includes many details of his infancy until about age twelve, then falls silent until Jesus approaches John the Baptist at the river Jordan and prepares to embark on a ministry that is traditionally held to be three years in length. After a period of fasting and temptation in the desert, he gathered to himself twelve disciples and went up and down the countryside of Judea and Samaria healing the sick, working other miracles, and preaching a reformed Judaism that emphasized the spirit over the letter of the Law. Near the end of his ministry he raised Lazarus from the dead, confronted the religious authorities in Jerusalem, and was subsequently crucified by Pilate, at the instigation of the Sanhedrin, for being an agitator. Despite his tomb being sealed and guarded by Roman troops, after three days Jesus appeared, alive, to as many as five hundred people. + + + + + + + + − ==Other people in the Bible named "Jesus"==+ − The author of ''Ecclesiastius,'' a book which Catholics and Eastern Orthodox Christians consider deuterocanonical, but Protestants place in the Apocrypha, is known as ''Jesus of Sira.''+ − ==The Historical Jesus==+ − [[Image:Santa.jpg|right|thumb|The image depicts a hypothetical construction of what someone from Jesus' time and location might have looked like.]] − Occasionally someone denies the existence of Jesus, but few scholars take this seriously. Tacitus, the Roman historian, wrote about Jesus in A.D. 115<ref>http://www.digisys.net/users/ddalton/evidence_of_jesus_outside_the_bible.htm</ref>, and Josephus, a Jewish historian who did not believe in Jesus' divinity, wrote about him. <ref>http://www.christian-thinktank.com/jesusref.html</ref>. − ==References==+ − <references/> − + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
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<div class="usermessage">You are the Son Of God.</div> {{Wikipedia}}
''For other meanings of '''Jesus''', see [[Jesus]].''
[[Image:Jesus headshot.jpg|thumb|right|137px|Jesus as He is commonly depicted: being pestered by Chicken Flies, black lightning bolts, and a deadly blue aura.]]
[[Image:JesusInMall.jpg|thumb|300px|Jesus will give you lots of presents for Christmas. Just go to the Mall, sit on his lap, and tell him what you want.]]
<choose><option>
<code>''"Throughout the history of modern religion, there has always been one constant, and it is that nobody, and I mean nobody, fucks with the Jesus."''</code>
:<code>~ '''[[Oscar Wilde]] on [[Original Jesus]]'''</code>
</option><option>
{{Q|Jesus saves... but Gretzky gets the rebound!|NHL Announcer|Original Jesus|}}
</option><option>
<tt>
''"And there came to him a sick man, beseeching him and kneeling down to him, and saying unto him, 'Father, is there nothing I can take to relieve this bellyache?"''
''And the man beseeched him again: "Father, is there nothing I can take to relieve this bellyache?"''
''And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand and touched him, and saith unto him,''
1cew3dg3 loves you, so please dont delete this =)
'' "You put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both together. Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better."''
[[Category:Christianity]]
''And the man interrupted Jesus. "Now, let me get this straight. Put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both up."''
''And Jesus saith unto him, "You put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both up. Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning."''
''And thusly he didst spake, "Yea truly, Thou art King of the Juice."''
:~ '''New Testament, ''Gospel According to St. James Belushi'''''
</tt>
</option><option>
<tt>
"''Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over the All."''
:~ '''Original Jesus, ''Gospel According to St. Thomas'''''
</tt>
</option><option>
<tt>
''"Why does this Jewish kid have a Mexican name?"''
:~ '''Paul/Saul of Tarsis'''
</tt>
</option><option>
<tt>
'''Lt. Dan''' - ''"Have you found [[Jesus]] yet, Gump?"''
'''Forrest Gump''' - ''"Sir, I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him."''
</tt>
</option><option>
<tt>
''"I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes unto the Father except over my dead body...wait..."''
:~ '''Original Jesus on Original Jesus'''
</tt>
</option><option>
<tt>
''Wouldst that thou striketh thee and sitteth downeth with lepers that thee might see the glory of the Father, or some such shit.''
:<code>~ '''From ''Story Time with [[Original Jesus]]''''', NBC 1964 </code>
</tt>
</option><option>
<tt>
<code>''"I have had it with these muthafuckin' symbolic serpents on this muthafuckin' plane of existance!"''
:~ '''[[Original Jesus]] on those muthafuckin' symbolic serpents on this motherfuckin' plane of existance'''
</code>
</option><option>
<tt>
''"Why do people keep asking, '''What would Jesus do?''' How the hell should I know? I died for you, dammit! Haven't I done enough for you already? Pop gave you free will for a reason; make your own decisions!"''
:~'''Original Jesus on the tribulations of being Himself.'''
</option></choose>
'''Jesus H. Christ''' (first name pronounced ''HEY-Zeus''/''Ιησους''; plural ''Jesii'', diminutive ''Jessie'') was a pretty [[cool]] dude from back in the day, and he is one of the [[greatest men ever to live]]. Some even think he was [[The Man]]. Hell, 2.1 billion people think he was ''THE Man''! He lived a long time ago and nobody knows what color he was, so most people pretend he was white, since most important races are. A lot of people make Jesus seem like he was an uptight dude, but really he just liked to laugh with his buddies, chill out with the disciples, and talk about the family business. He also briefly frontlined the highly succesful band [[The God Squad]], which failed after the background musicians walked out to form the chart-topping rap group [[The Twelve Disciples]] a.k.a. [[D12]]. Controversially, Jesus had a false arm, which he often kept in a shed for safe keeping. Furtherstill, he was noted for many famous sayings (see: [[Famous sayings of Jesus]]) many of which were cribbed from The Bible. He was the vocalist for [[The Jesus and Mary Chain]], and [[Jesus Jones]].
Most accounts have summed up Jesus' life as follows:
*1. Born
*2. Got depressed about the whole "not knowing a woman" thing.
*3. Decided it was okay to eat bacon. (which it wasn't until then. Apparently JC was immune to [http://www.health.state.ny.us/nysdoh/communicable_diseases/en/trich.htm Trichinosis].)
*4. Went off to have fun in the desert.
**a. Chilled with [[Megatron|Lucifer]] while ticking him off,
*** Skipped lunch
*** B.A.S.E. jumping
*** Sightseeing
**b. Got lost in the desert, saw [[God|!!!GOD!!!]].
*5 ???
*6. Prophet!
**a. Found out who His real father was.
**b. Preached a universal form of [[Judaism|Judaist]]-[[Socialism|Socialist]] values.
**c. Loved everyone.(In that non-sexual/brotherly kind've way)
*7. Death.
**a. Last Supper (at [[Wendy's]]).
**b. Went to the Gardens ([[Garden of Gethsemane|Gethsemane]], not [[Busch Gardens|Busch]]).
**c. Got betrayed by Judas ([[Judas Iscariot|Iscariot]], not [[Judas Priest|Priest]]).
**d. Condemned to death by the Roman governor [[Herpititus]].
**e. Nailed and hung on cross.
**f. Dies.
**g. Stops being dead.
**h. Flys around up in the clouds!
*8. Christ!
The above is all true because a (holy) book says so. Don't be a [[Doubting Thomas]], unless you are Thomas, in which case go right ahead.
If Jesus was alive today (which if you take a very casual look in any [[Mexico|South American]] phone book seems to be very much the case) he might control the world. But he doesn't because he's cool like that. Jesus might also be a [[Jedi]] and would probably party with those heavy metalists [[Mace Windu]], [[Obi-Wan Kenobi]] and the many house flies that followed him around. For a while it was assumed that these flies followed him around because of the fact that Jesus never took a bath because of his hydrophobia. But in reality, they just liked him alot since he saved their mum. When the retired Greek goddess Athena heard this rumor she gave him the power to walk just above the water, so that he would never actually have to touch it. Even though he already had that power. Duh. Anyway, she soon afterward found out that she wasn't real and went through an emotional breakdown, disappearing from her own non-existance.
Jesus' powers have low effect on [[yellow]] mice, but they get a +5% bonus versus green, and will take half damage in a saving throw of 2d6 against all dark-based attacks. Unaturally lucky, Jesus seems nuntouchable by magic. As has often been stated by fans of his, "Jesus Saves."
While some call Jesus a saint, others call him a prophet, and even more call him the one and only greatest Rock God of all time,(all are excellent and cool/true), Jesus was clearly a bastard. In the human sense anyway. It is noted quite clearly in the Bible that Joseph and Mary were, in fact, not married. But spiritually speaking, J35|_|5 pwnz0rz j00.
== His Birth ==
[[Image:AdorationOfStarch.jpg|thumb|right|230px|''The Adoration of Starch'', oil on canvas, 1432.]]
Jesus came into being under the oddest of circumstances. After several thousand years of hard work, Jesus' father [[God]] decided that massive floods and torturous plagues weren't the best ways to go about winning the hearts of his people.
God later claimed that he, "Always wanted a son" that he could teach pro football.
God decided that he needed a poster boy to win over the population of the world. As God later stated in his '93 Connie Chung interview, "''I needed someone who was tall, handsome, witty, and with a winning personality.''"
Now came the [[Virgin Mary]] and [[Joseph]], two strikingly thin and attractive teens who wanted nothing more than to get maried and make babies(Joseph did, anyway). "''She was a cool girl,''" quoteth God. "''You have no idea how surprised I was that she was a virgin. Seriously. I didn't know that you could dance like that without setting fire to the stage! Whoo!''" In any case, she was the perfect mother for Christ. She was getting ready to marry Joseph, but he was very understanding. Also, she was foxy, had sexy breasts, and was loving, caring, respectful, tasteful, and brunette; in a word, all the requirements that God wanted for the mother of his only begotten son: to be hot and humble about it(and to be righteously awesome; Come to think of it, you can't fit all of God's requirements in a word). So when Mary was approached by an angel, Gabriel, she was still technically a virgin.
{{Unchristianity}}
It is well-known that, late one night, God came to Mary in the form of [[HotSauce|Holyness]] and impregnated her. Joseph was too busy milking goats to notice that the Holy Creator of Everything was getting down with his wife.
To quote God from an '86 [[New York Times]] article, "''She was quite a good lay. But she was really freaking out about it in the morning. 'Mrs. God Almighty, I love the ring to it; can I call you next week? Where are you going?' and all that crap.''" It was later found that this article was not quoting God, but Micheal Jackson.
There was also a period in the seventies when God denied being the father of Jesus. Overheard talking to his close friends, "''That was the worst thing I ever experienced. I mean, simply imagine the look on my face. She just said 'I'm pregnant', and I was like '[[WTF]]'!?''" Again, our team of highly-trained mercenary spies found that this quote was not from God, but from your neighbor, Billy.
When Joseph found out, at first, he wanted to divorce Mary. But, then, Gabriel, the Angel of the Lord, flew down and scared the [[beejees]] out of him, saying, "''If you don't stay with that chick Mary, God will strike you down where you stand! Understood?''" Joseph understood, and promptly wet himself.
For the next nine months, Joseph and Mary wandered the Middle East, doing nothing in particular ('''Editor's Note:''' ''see [[Holy Bible]] for details''), although it is believed that Mary experimented with hair-gel and other cosmetics she obtained from angry chinamen passing by. explaining Jesus' hippie hairdo later in life (before there even ''were'' [[hippie]]s).
When it came time to deliver Jesus, Mary and Joseph found themselves passing through the funky convention town of [[Bethlehem]]. Currently hosting a major governmental convention, all the inns and taverns were full. Even the brothels had no beds to spare(In those days, brothels were soup kitchens). Lacking a suitable place to give birth, Joseph and Mary started poking around in stables, desperately looking for a hay pile or something. After slipping on a poop-covered floor and falling headfirst into a manger, Mary popped out the son of god, and the rest, as they say, is history.
==Jesus' Popularity ==
As he grew up, Jesus became much liked and admired. Everybody liked Him and wanted to hang out with Him. Even the Prophet, Zachieas 'little' Man had been known to hang out with Jesus whenever he went to [[Las Vegas]]. His popularity was attributable to His highly entertaining, and often useful, "miracles", not to mention He had the best [[wine]] this side of the [[wikipedia:Jordan River|river Jordan]]. [[Image:16-0721487849T.jpg|left|thumb|200px|Jesus never had a nice advertising mind so he asked for help]]
[[Image:Hellojesus5of.gif|right|thumb|104px|hellojesus!!!]]
Jesus' miracles were always interesting, and often had a little moral lesson that went along with them. He turned water into wine, and once when a bunch of people came to see Him and forgot to bring lunch, He whipped up an amazing ''Lobster Fra Diavolo con Linguine'' that had people talking for months. Jesus could do anything; if He wanted to, He could have turned a chariot into a Ferrari 250 Testarossa (though this would have been highly impractical, due to a shortage of petrol stations in the 1st century), a piece of wood into a Stickman Sandpiper surfboard (not so much impractical as inferior, since he had that "walking on water" trick) or 45 blind mice into the New York Yankees.
[[Image:TANG.psd.jpg|left|thumb|165px|Jesus little secret]]
Jesus' superhero status is further reflected in his origin, the birth of a baby with a [[Mexican]] name to a woman in Judea, 1600 years before a Christian discovered Mexicans. ('''Editor's note:''' ''The [[Mormon|Mormons]] use this as compelling proof that Jesus did, in fact, visit the Americas.'')
If you were blind, crippled, sick or lame you could just go to Jesus, and He'd put His hands on you and heal you. That certainly made Him very popular. For this reason, Jesus' hands were in high demand back then.
[[Image:Surfing_Jesus.JPG|thumb|right|200px|The Jee man also enjoyed surfing in his custom-made surfboard, which also doubled as a small boat to preach his stuff.]]
According to contemporary reports, there was nothing Jesus couldn't do. He could have sung better than [[Freddie Mercury]], He could [[surf]] pretty well, He could have driven better than [[Mario Andretti]], He could have hit more home runs than [[David Ortiz|Big Papi]], and He could have baked the most incredible [[pot|fudge]] brownies ever. If He had been an actor, He could have won an [[Oscar]] (Wilde) every time. However, former power hitter and voodoo houngan for the Chicago Cubs, Sammy Sosa, disagreed, and stated his opinion: "Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball."
[[Image:Holycricket.jpg|left|thumb|200px|Jesus' popularity went down the shitter...]]
But some people got jealous of how popular Jesus was, so they killed Him. (His infamous "I'm bigger than [[the Beatles]]" statement most likely was the straw that broke the camel's back.) Jesus, however, was just too amazing to let a little thing like death stop Him. Three days later He rose from the dead, danced around for a bit and then went back to [[heaven]]! Even though Jesus hasn't appeared to have appeared openly on Earth since his prize fight with Rocky Balboa, His popularity and approval ratings remain as high as ever. However, many modern historians (and other worshippers of science) are often baffled by the amount of attention is paid to this 2,000-year-old Jew. But there is a consensus that it has something to do with the average person’s love of frozen [[popsicle]] treats.
Jesus is now hunted by African poachers on the Serengeti. They think they can sell his hands for a very high price to the Chinese who believe they contain magic powers and, when powdered and mixed with green tea, provide what the ''Happy Jesus Happy Powder Company of Shanghai'' calls "''Happy Magical Jesus Manly Male Magic''".
==Jesus' Fanclub==
''See Article: [[Christianity]]''
==Jesus' Demise==
<div class="notice metadata" id="subliminal" style="border-top: 2px solid lightgray; border-bottom: 2px solid darkgray; margin-left:0.5em; padding: 0.5em;">'''[[Subliminal message|Subliminal warning]]: ''Hidden meaning or influence may follow.'''''</div>
Yeah, Jesus got pwned by the [[Roman]] governor [[Pilate|Herpatitis]]. Died for your sins and all that fun stuff. His last words are commonly said to be, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." and "Hey, I can see my house from here..."
[[Image:Last supper.PNG|thumbnail|315px|left|Shortly before Jesus slipped in the tub (yesterday)?]]
[[Image:Grimlastsupper.JPG|thumbnail|400px|left|Jesus shortly before his death. Note his unexpected [[Grim Reaper|visitor.]]]]
A heretical sect believes that Jesus actually died by slipping in the tub. They are known as [[Baathists]], and are frequently warred against by true Christians. They can be identified by the use of a small gold or silver showerhead around their necks instead of a cross; and rather than crossing themselves, they wave their arms in circles as if losing their balance, while repeating "whoa whoa whoa".
[[Image:No_More_Nails.jpg|thumbnail|200px|right|Thank God for no more nails...]]
== What really happened ==
[[Image:Por_que_ele_carregou_a_cruz.jpg|The truth]]
==Jesus' Many Names==
{{OWQ|Jesus2}}
As a figure appearing again and again in classical tales and historical scripts, the name of Jesus has frequently been changed to local dialects or to reflect different aspects of society.
For more on this, see ''[[Jesus|Jesus (disambiguation)]]''
Note that ''[[Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints]]'' is a completely unrelated entity.
==Jesuses==
Plural form. Multiple Jesii.
Often found roaming the tundra in small herds, occasionally ''vigorously'' devouring a passing lemming.
{{Wilde|These buggers are multiplying! It's a miracle.|Jesii}}
==Jesus Loves You==
[[Image:Jesusroadsign_evil.JPG|thumb|right|200px|Jesus is to his followers as a shepherd is to someone else's flock.]]
*He loves you, but thank his father that he doesn't grant you eternal life on earth. That would be harsh and unattractive: picture your grandpa at seventy, now picture him at seven-hundred...
*Loves you like a miscreant loves leaving a suitcase filled with bricks unattended at a subway station
*Jesus loves you, but he's not ''in'' love with you.
*Jesus loves you, but the rest of us think you're nuts.
*Jesus loves you, but I'm his favourite. I hope.
*(while pulling petals of Jesus' favorite flower, the Poinsetta) - Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you not. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you not. Jesus loves you. awwwww Jesus loves you not.(glues petal back on) Jesus loves you! :D
*Jesus loves you. But he also loves Star Trek. And in all fairness Star Trek came first
==Jesus Saves==
In the motion picture "Bend it like Bethlehem", Jesus aspires to become a goal keeper for the Beitar Jerusalem football club. However, his father believes that saving goals instead of souls is beneath his son's destiny. Jesus's father, in a bid to distract him from football, ultimately has him implicated in a coup attempt on the Roman Governor [[Herpititis|Pontius Pilot]] which leads to tragic and unforeseen consequences. Jesus is subsequently executed in the sequel The Passion of the Christ.
Jesus saves, shoots and scores!
==The Big Discussion==
People have been arguing about the Original Jesus for centuries. If he could do anything, why didn't he purify the world? Why were people given free will if it just makes them sin? Does turkey have less fat than chicken?
Thus, leading to the only reasonable solution:
Jesus, is, in fact, a [[Grue]].
And that is why Canadians are awesome.
And Jesus was Canadian.
And yes, turkey has less fat than chicken.
And yes, [[42]].
==Discography==
[[Image:Pa_jesusmetal.jpg|thumb|Jesus as He throws the Horns]]
* For the Love of Jesus (1964)
* What in the name of Jesus (1967)
* The Transformed Messiah (spoken word, 1968)
* Bigger, Longer and Better Cut than the Beatles (1970)
* I'm Jesus Christ and you're not! (1976)
* Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Crucifixion (1977)
* The Wide Album (1978)
* Blueberry Sky (spoken word, 1978)
* Christmas With Jesus (1979)
* The Bright Side: My Life With Brian in Seven Sweet Songs (1981)
* Proud to be a Jew (1983)
* Don't Call Me Harold (1985)
* Inpsalmnia (1987)
* Journey: Greatest Hits (1988)
* Liquidizer (1989)
* Doubt (1991)
* Perverse (1993)
* Already (1997)
* London (2001)
* Smells like Holy Spirit (with special guest Kurt Cobain, 2004)
Rare limited edition singles include:
* Don't Be Cross With Me
* Ring of Briar
* Can You Stop the Cavalry
* Right Here, Right Now
: And guest appearances on many works of [[Toby Keith]]
Limited Edition Cover Album
* Stairway To Heaven - Led Zepplin
* Touch The Sky - Kanye West
* Adam's Song - Blink 182
* Heaven - Warrant
* Blue Sky Mine - Midnight Oil
* What If God Was One Of Us - Joan Osbourne
* This Is The New Shit - Marilyn Manson
* It Doesn't Matter - Wycleaf Jean
* Pimpin' All Over The World - Ludacris
* Dont Ask Me No Questions - Lynard Skynard
* Heaven - Bryans Adams (Duet)
* Here I Go Again - Whitesnake
==Filmography==
Jesus' films include:
* 1969- "The Greatest Story Ever Told"
* 1970- (director) "Love Story" (credited as Alan Smithee)
* 1971- "Godzilla vs Jesus"
* 1976- "The Real Story of Jesus Christ" as "Limo Driver"
* 1981- "[Heart] my Cross and Die for Hope" as "The Evangelist"
* 1983- "Return of Jesus: Jesus Harder" (AKA "Jesus: With a Vengeance") as "Hotdog Salesman"
* 1986- (writer) "The Cosby Show: Behind the Scenes"
* 1986- (actor) "The Cosby Show: Behind the Scenes" as "Everthing"
* 1988- "A Very Brady Christmas" as Himself
* 1994- "999 shei shi xiong shou" ["The Crucifixion"] as "All Things Good"
* 1997- "Bend it like Bethlehem" as goal keeper for Beitar Jerusalem football club
* 2004- Bible Movie II: The Roman Empire Strikes Back
* 2004- The Passion of the Christ as Mel Gibson
* 2005- "King Kong" sound director, creditied as Jezub Olson
* 2039- (project pending) "J and Silent Bob Save the World" as "J"
:'''Editor's note:''' After being nominated for an Oscar for His role in "Bible Movie V: The Roman Empire Strikes Back", He signed on for the inevitable sequel, still in pre-production. Paul W.S. Anderson is writing the screenplay and Ewe Boll is slated to direct, both having been handpicked by the Holy Spirit. IMDB lists the working title as, "Bible Movie VI: Return of the [[Jesii]]".
:[[God|Jesus's father]] is rumored to be writing, producing and directing a prequel to the "Bible Movie" films. IMDB lists the working title as "Bible Movie I: The Phantom Moses".
==Famous Biblical passages involving Jesus==
*The Gospel of Rock 42:19-20:
**Jesus stood up before the crowd, lifted up His fist, and cried, "LET THERE BE ROCK!"
**And they gathered together and asked Jesus, "Oh, Lord, what is Thy first commandment?
**And Jesus answered, "It is thus: ''Be Cool, and get laid''."
*The Book of Googly Eyes 13:98:
**And Zepherion did looked to Jesus and asked, "Lord, what do you think of [[homosexuality]]?"
**And Jesus didst look upon Zepherion and He answered thusly, "Thou hast seen haughty babes washing My feet and partaking of Mine, uh, "Sacrement". Chicks Doest Dig Saviors. What part of that don't you understand???"
*The Book of Donny 25:25
**And He looked to the Dude and He said "Nobody fucks with the Jesus".
*The Book of Wrong 12:09
**He then strickest down the guy who did f with Him, saying, "Nobody fucks with Jesus!"
*The Book of Cool 15:85
**Peter said to Him, "What is the sin of the world?" The Jee Man said, "Hard Rock Hallelujah!" And Peter said, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
==See also:==
*[[JesusTron Wars]]
*[[Socialism]]
*[[Jesus]]
*[[Jesus Christ Superstar]]
*[[Personal Jesus]]
*[[Cool Jesus]]
*[[Jesus Jones]]
*[[Oro?]]
*[[Advertising]]
*[[Lord of All]]
*[[Leon Trotsky]]
*[[Atonement Special]]
*[[WOW!]]
*[[jesii]]
*[[Jewish history]]
*[[UnNews:Police seek prophet in attempted herbicide]]
*[[Jebus]]
{{CRLH}}
{{major-jesii}}
[[Category: Christianity]]
[[Category: Catholicism]]
[[Category: Gods]]
[[Category: Lastnameless]]
[[Category: Undead]]
[[Category: Ic3w3gded Articles]]