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| | 1. The best vegetable is asparagus. Most of the kids in public school eat candy, rather than good food; eating better will make you healthier than them. | | 1. The best vegetable is asparagus. Most of the kids in public school eat candy, rather than good food; eating better will make you healthier than them. |
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| | + | :"than they", not "than them." (Minus 1) |
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| | 2. Congress’s problem: it is too weak. Those in Washington D.C. worry too much about what the public thinks, consequently doing us all a disservice. | | 2. Congress’s problem: it is too weak. Those in Washington D.C. worry too much about what the public thinks, consequently doing us all a disservice. |
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| | + | :Add a comma after "Washington". (Minus 1) |
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| | 3. Easter is a unique day of the year. Let’s face it; neither July 4th nor New Year’s Day are as special. | | 3. Easter is a unique day of the year. Let’s face it; neither July 4th nor New Year’s Day are as special. |
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| | + | :"neither ... nor ... are" -> "neither ... nor ... is" (Minus 1) |
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| | 4. Someone needs to clean up this mess before the owner gets here. His note read, "Get [your] garbage out of [here] now”. | | 4. Someone needs to clean up this mess before the owner gets here. His note read, "Get [your] garbage out of [here] now”. |
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| | + | :Could improve the word choice of "gets" in the first sentence. (Minus 1) |
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| | 5. I am determined to catch all of the errors this time; I am not going to make any more mistakes. Do you think I enjoy being ridiculed like this? | | 5. I am determined to catch all of the errors this time; I am not going to make any more mistakes. Do you think I enjoy being ridiculed like this? |
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| | + | :Excellent editing. |
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| | 6. These two things I know are true: good writing is priceless and poor writing will hurt my career. That is why I want to be a better writer. | | 6. These two things I know are true: good writing is priceless and poor writing will hurt my career. That is why I want to be a better writer. |
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| | + | :Superb editing. |
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| | AranM | | AranM |
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| | + | :Score: 56/60. Well done.--[[User:Aschlafly|Andy Schlafly]] 14:40, 26 February 2012 (EST) |