View source for Humorous quotes about atheism and evolution

== Humorous quotes about atheist web marketing ==

''See also:'' [[Essay: Humorous quotes about atheist web marketing|Humorous quotes about atheist web marketing]]

[[File:Hostile clown.jpg|thumbnail|right|300px|"[[Internet atheism|Atheist websites]] have lost a ton of web traffic. The hostility I am getting over my [[Internet atheism and the coronavirus pandemic]] article is unbelievable...It's like..picture this...
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Atheist web marketers are clowns and they didn't know it. And then I got the clowns together and forced them to look in the mirror. And they saw themselves in all their red hair, big noses, big shoes, polka dot glory." - [[User: Conservative]] ]]
*"You atheists, I love you, but it must feel very embarrassing to be so bad at digital marketing when you claim to be so great when it comes to science and technology. Christian websites continue to [[Internet evangelism: Christians vs. atheists|outperform atheist websites by a large margin when it comes to web traffic]]. The English mathematician and inventor [[Charles Babbage]], who is credited with having conceived the first automatic digital computer, was a Christian who believed that God was the ultimate programmer. And the [[Scientific Revolution]] happened in Christianized Europe. I always knew that Christendom would achieve total victory over atheistdom on the information superhighway. Britain is the birthplace of godless Darwinism. The [[New Atheism|new atheist]] [[Richard Dawkins]] is a British citizen as so was the late [[Christopher Hitchens]]. In 2013, Britain had one pothole in every mile of road.<ref>[https://www.wheelwright.co.uk/blog/20131010-pothole-pandemic-costing-british-taxpayer-millions/ POTHOLE PANDEMIC COSTING BRITISH TAXPAYER £MILLIONS], WheelWright</ref> If godless Britain can't even master asphalt and road budgeting, how can atheists ever master digital marketing and establish a respectable presence on the information super highway over the long term? Godless, British atheists and evolutionists, I laugh at [[United Kingdom's road repair crisis|Britain's pothole pandemic]]! He who sits in the heavens laughs. On behalf of all meek and humble Christians on the internet, I hereby declare total victory! Olé! Olé! Olé! - [[User: Conservative]]

*"[[Internet atheism|Atheist websites]] have lost a ton of web traffic. The hostility I am getting over my [[Internet atheism and the coronavirus pandemic]] article is unbelievable...It's like... picture this... Atheist web marketers are clowns and they didn't know it. And then I got the clowns together and forced them to look in the mirror. And they saw themselves in all their red hair, big noses, big shoes, polka dot glory. Game over atheists. You have nothing. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.  Game over." - User: Conservative

*"I received another email about a Christian web article ranking high on the internet for a Google web search. Now as you guys know, internet atheists are very glum and frustrated. It is obvious. Their web pages are dropping their Google rankings like flies. Oh atheists, feel the sting." - User: Conservative

*"The [[RationalWiki]] website has failed. Internet atheism has failed. Well, you know they're atheists. They're used to failure. Every atheists has failed." - User: Conservative

*"The coronavirus pandemic [[Internet atheism and the coronavirus pandemic|greatly negatively affected the web traffic going to atheist websites]]. What is going to happen when an economic recession happens to many of the world's countries? [[Internet atheism]] is going to be further hammered down and ground into a fine dust. As the [[theism|theist]], [[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow]] said so aptly, "The mills of God grind slowly, yet they grind exceeding small." With each passing day, atheist websites will lose more and more Google rankings. Atheist webmasters, weep and wail over the misery that will soon befall you. What will you do on the day of financial reckoning when economic devastation comes upon your website's web marketing budget? Your ugly, atheistic, website cows designed by lightweight web designers will become even more ugly and gaunt and they will receive even less web traffic than they do now - which is not much! I will laugh when this calamity of calamities falls upon you. I hope that some of the few atheist websites remaining on the internet will not be able to afford web hosting and disappear off the information superhighway. They were so sad and ineffective that it will be no great loss to atheistdom, but atheists will weep and wail because what little web presence they have will become even less. Oh atheists, feel the sting!" - User: Conservative

*"Recently, I was watching a self-described atheist, borderline alcoholic and marketing professional pointlessly argue with a paranoid individual at a [[secular left]]ist [[wiki]] for weeks while [[RationalWiki|the website]] continues to experience long-term web traffic loss.  [[Sun Tzu]]'s strategies and tactics utilize the "Eastern tradition of strategy that emphasizes outwitting an opponent through speed, stealth, flexibility, and a minimum of effort."<ref>[https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Military-Classics-Ancient-including/dp/0813312280 The Seven Military Classics of Ancient China, including The Art of War - Amazon]</ref><ref>[http://www.wzaponline.com/SunTzuClausewitz.pdf Sun Tzu Compared to Clausewitz] by Walter S. Zapotoczny</ref> As much as I hate to say it atheist gentlemen, atheistdom cannot outrun the [[Internet evangelism|Christian web marketing cheetahs]]! - User: Conservative

(The quotes were inspired by YouTube Christian [[Shockofgod]] who I borrowed some of quotes from with some changes being made. See: [[Shockofgod#Classic quotes from the Shockofgod YouTube channel|Classic quotes from the Shockofgod YouTube channel]])

[[Image:Michelangelo creation-of-sun-and-moon.jpg|center|alt=Young earth creationism|thumb|310px|"He opens the waters before them, and he bars our way with fire! Let us go from this place!" - Pharoh's military commander in Cecil DeMille's classic movie ''The Ten Commandments''. 
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The Matthew effect's [[etymology]] can be traced to [[Gospel of Matthew]] which declares Jesus as saying: "For to every one who has will more be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who has not, even what he has will be taken away." (Matthew 25:29, RSV).
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Atheists, even the paltry web traffic your websites are currently getting will be further and further taken away. 
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Atheists, leave the internet before it's too late! You've embarrassed yourselves already. Don't further embarrass yourselves.
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For more information, please see: [[Internet outreach and the Matthew effect: Atheist websites vs. religious websites]] ]]
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